05/15/2009, Shelter Bay Marina, Panama
Ya know the old saying, "so close, but so far away..." Well, that is our new theme for Sunshine. We came so close to getting her to Florida, but not close enough. On Friday, the 8th of May, Jim got a phone call at work from my Mom while I was in Micah's class for a Mother's Day breakfast. She asked Jim, "are you sitting down?". Well, what's the first thing you'd think of if your Mother-in Law called you at work and said that to you? Then she told him that she just talked to her brother-in-law, my Uncle Bob who he & Aunt Margie have been behind us 100% with this whole endeavor of ours. He has a friend that we have talked to before, even as far back as a couple years ago about doing the original delivery then all the way from El Salvador. U. Bob told my mom Henry would do the delivery! So we had the missing piece, the "Captain" of Sunshine in Jim's absence. We already had lined up a couple who live in Portobello, Panama to be crew, but not in charge. Jim talked to Henry that evening and as soon as Henry could get his boat in Ft. Lauderdale where he is, closed up, he'd be ready. They made tentative plans to leave later this week. Jim talked to Henry again, 2 days later, to make sure when he'd be ready, and Henry informed him that he got a call over the w/end that his 90 yr. Old Uncle in Texas was needing some immediate attention and he was asked by other family members to do it.
So, now what? On Monday, we got a couple more leads that led no where, and Tuesday, Jim's B-day, while we're at dinner at the Roadhouse in Beaulah, we decide that this is where we need to stop. Our priorities have changed, we can't keep Sunshine where she is and afford both time & money to leave her there. Even if we kept her, we'd only be able to use her for maybe a month every year,for the next few years and for the expense that would entail, plus at the beginning of each time we'd get to her, there would most likely be maintenance- and possibly extensive, it's not feasible for us any more.
So sadly as of this morning, she went up for sail on ebay.
The hardest part is that she is in much better shape now than when we took ownership of her, and to put that much blood, sweat, & tears, literally in to something & then have to let it go, is...well, just hard to take-real hard. The kids are sad. But I often tell them when they don't want to pick up their toys, or don't want to do a certain chore, or don't want to do whatever it is, "some times ya gotta do what you don't want to do." Well, there's nothing like leading by example.
I will probably post one more time, to update on the sale. But there won't be a reason to keep the sailblogs going after that.
Thank you all for reading our blog, posting comments, and for your support. I thoroughly enjoyed writing these. Maybe someday, they'll be a book!
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Comments [1]
04/15/2009, Shelter Bay Marina, Panama
Ya gotta admire Jim for his courage, tenacity, & full blown commitment to a dream. While some may say he's over the edge, and they themselves have not pursued their own dreams, and many have their own opinions without fully understanding Jim's desire to follow this passion of his. I myself did not even know the real "reason" for this crazy idea of his... until this past Monday. The day after we returned from the Carribean on our attempt to head to Florida.
I've known that he has always had this dream, since High School, to do something like this. And I just thought it was about getting away touring parts unseen by many, on a boat & in the past when I talked to him about it, he would mention he loves hearing the sound of the water lapsing up against the boat as she's sailing along, stopping along at quiet islands & listening to the fish jump & the birds in the trees on shore. But Monday, while we were discussing our options of what to do now, the real reason came out. He honestly feels "this" is what he's meant to do, living on a boat. That was his exact statement. "This is where, among all the work & headaches, I'm at peace."
This has been the only thing I have ever seen Jim pursue with such passion & commitment. Sometimes I have faulted him for it, saying that he's putting Sunshine first, being irresponsible. But after this conversation, I have a better understanding of what this all means to him. And I hope some if not all, of those who've questioned this whole thing from the beginning will also understand better. With all the years that we've had family health issues starting way back 14 + years ago, Jim has had to put aside for his family everything that he's wanted to do. And he's done so without a single complaint. When he pitched this idea to me, that he really wanted to do this, NOW, I saw all the times he put himself last for his family, and that now he deserved to do this. But still, this was not just about him, he wanted this to be a time for our family to bond & spend together seeing some of the fantastic areas of the World that most kids only read or hear about. He wanted this , not just for himself, but all of us. And to see him struggle to make this work, has been hard for me to understand why he keeps going forward, but I think I have a better understanding, and my only hope is that this has a happy ending for him. It will be extremely difficult for him to let Sunshine go. He's put so much in to her, she's not looked or been in this good of shape since we took ownership of her. Things can only get better, but here in Central America there's nothing more we can do. She's too far away for us, Jim needs to take care of other responsibilities, get back to work, mainly. And we've been gone from our kids longer than we told them already. I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone with this much of a passion for something, and maybe to some, it's called a pipe dream, but dreams aren't just dreams. They are ideas that when pursued gives a person a reason for living, a way to enjoy life. Some stop with the dream, some go after it If we didn't have dreams, we wouldn't have Olympic Gold medalists, beautiful statues & towers, music & paintings, Lance Armstrongs, Tiger Woods, or high rise buildings, electricity or airplanes, or even the computer your reading this on now. Someone had to think it, had to dream it, for it to begin. I'm going to end this long post with again, that t-shirt quote from Mike Dooley that Jim has had for over 15 years. This is Jim's favorite quote & sums up what this is all about.
Your Dreams Are Gifts
that set You in Motion,
on the Tides of Time
where Life is an Ocean.
Your Sails are Filled with
the Winds of Desire to
Surge through the
Waves of Murk & Mire.
And When You Awaken
With Your Goal at Hand,
You See Your True Destination
Was the Voyage Not the Land!
I have updated the past few days, so if you haven't read those, make sure you scroll down & get caught up.
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04/14/2009, Shelter Bay Marina, Panama
What another day! This story keeps having it's twists & turns, and that's an understatement! We woke this morning and got ready to head into Shelter Bay Marina to get a slip for 2 weeks. Easy enough, or at least is should be. On our way in to side tie up to the dock, when Jim put the throttle in to reverse to back up from the dock & slow down, he hears squeaking coming from the engine room & she won't go in to reverse full power. We ram the dock, I jump off the front of the starboard ama onto the concrete dock & try to push Sunshine away from the dock. Thankfully we only hit once. Then we manually pulled Sunshine up to the dock. Jim tells me the shaft coupling was not tight and was slipping on the shaft even though he tightened it last night. The damage was minimul to the bow, but still not a pleasant thing to go through. After getting Sunshine tied up to the dock, he also noticed a rather large patch of fiberglass hanging off the front center hull. Even though we had her beached & gave her a complete once over only 2 weeks ago, all the force from the water pushing against it must of made it come loose. He sits on the end of the dock for quite some time, then goes up to the office to get definite pricing on getting her hauled out here. Although we would really prefer Bob & Annie's in Ft. Myers, the reality is, it needs done now, not after a week or so of being constantly underway. At B& A's they have a marine railway, here it's a boat lift w/ straps going under the hulls. And Fl. would just be closer, obviously. But here we are, and that's the big story for today. Imagine having your "home" lifted off it's foundation & moved. Even though we didn't do much physically today, emotionally we are drained. The workers did a good job, but it was nerve racking, and nail biting nonetheless. We will have the bottom from the water line down, completely sanded, new bottom paint applied, repair the only spot that needs some new wood on the main hull about a foot long, repair the owie from today, fix the bottom of the keel that is rotten, & install a new prop shaft. Russ, one of the owners of SB, & his guy in charge of the job, both said she's not in that bad of shape. Honestly, Jim & I expected worse, but were pleasantly surprised.
After the incident this morning, I still keep asking myself, "how much more is Jim willing to take?" But after our discussion yesterday morning, I really don't need to ask that anymore.
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04/12/2009, Carribean, North of Panama
The first 24 hours we'd gone a wapping 60 miles. Jim got only 3 hours of sleep off & on during the night. At dawn he started to get a closer look at the main sail & noticed that much of the stitching was coming undone. Fixable yes, even under way w/ repair tape & needle & sail thread. But at 8:30 in the morning, w/ out having said much at all for quite some time, sitting next to me on the starboard side bench while I'm steering, he said to me, "Amy." I look at him, and he says, " I want you to listen to me before you say anything." I stare at him & nod. He says, " I think we should turn back." "With the sails, & no auto steering & I'm thinking we're heading into a Nor'wester, I think that would be the prudent thing to do." I am shocked, to a certain degree. We talk some more, as I turn the boat around. It was a quiet ride back, and after about a couple hours he started rethinking his original statement. We had our larger gib up, and it seemed as soon as we turned around the wind was straight out of the East, perfecto! So that was another reason Jim was second guessing. But we kept heading back South, and arrived back to Shelter Bay Marina in less than half the time that it took us to get out there since we were going with the waves & had better wind & who knows why else.
Monday morning Jim went to start the engine so we could move in to the marina- we anchored outside the marina entrance since it was late when we arrived, and it wouldn't start. We were simply beside ourselves. What else could go wrong?, and what if we kept going North, pulled in some island to rest, and went to start the engine & THEN it wouldn't start? Jim called Shelter Bay & asked if a launcha, small boat, could come out to get him so he could take a taxi to get parts for our motor. Once he got back to SB, our sweet friends on Claire de Lune were still here & George helped Jim with some phone calls to find a place to take Sunshine to. Our first choice, Panamarina, does not have any availabilities. There are 2 marinas in the Bocas del Torro area, a full days sail- nearly 24 hours, away to the West. But they are expensive & we'd have to take a small plane ride from there to Panama City to get a flight back to Houston. Then, there is right here where we are, Shelter Bay, and it's twice the cost of the Bocas Marinas. There is a sailmaker/repairman nearby, plus Colon if need to go there or a bus that goes to Panama City. But we only need a couple weeks, for after a lot of talk, ideas, discussions, some not so pleasant, about what to do from here with Sunshine, we made a mutual decision. We either have to get her to Florida, she cannot stay here another rainy season, all the work we've put in to her would be undone and more, or we have to sell her. So for the next week, we are going to try as best we can to locate 2-3 people who would like to deliver Sunshine to Florida for us. After all the blood, sweat & tears-literally- we've put in to this boat, we just can't bear the idea of letting her go now. We just simply ran out of time for us to finish this part of the trip. The worst is behind us, she is a great boat that needs mostly cosmetic work now. If you know of anyone who can stear a boat, keep a watch, raise a sail; any or all of the above and would love a cheap weeks vacation through the Carribean & the Eastern Gulf of Mexico sailing on a boat, please get them in touch with us. Even someone who's a quick learner and would love to have this experience in their "resume" as crew assisting an experienced captain, to be able to do other crewing on other boats, but needs to get started. We will pay for all expenses for the boat, fuel, etc., there's some food already on the boat that they would be welcome to have, would need some fresh produce before setting sail, but we would love to talk to anyone who might consider taking this trip. Flights are cheap right now, or at least they were when we booked them, and we can negotiate on that. They would need to be available for about 10 days, w/in the next month, no later. IF no one surfaces to make the delivery within the next 2 weeks, Sunshine will go up for sale on Ebay. That will kill Jim. For in all this talk about what to do from here, I learned more about his desire for this than I ever had known. I've explained this in more detail in the post following Tuesday's.
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04/11/2009, Carribean, North of Panama
We were pulling out the break wall around 6:30 a.m., cloudy, but clearing skies. We weren't anticipating the large choppy waves as we departed the breakwall area, but had we thought it through in advance, we would of realized it. As the large rollers come in the much shallower waters, they create a slushing back & forth & much choppiness to them. We dealt with this for about 30 minutes until we got into 150' plus depth of water. Then it was more rolly than choppy. Although still not what we're used to. With very little wind, and mostly on the nose the entire trip from ES to Panama last year, it was very gently & comfortable. This was not. We also noticed the much deeper color of the water, a cobalt or midnight blue, versus the aquamarine of the Pacific. At about 8, we raised the main & put up the smaller gib sail & were cruising along at 5+ knts. Not bad, okay, wind was out of the north- ne. We would prefer a more easterly. At about 5:45 p.m., while I was on watch, Jim was sleeping, we hear a loud crash, like something fell in the wheelhouse or cockpit. Jim awakes & we look around, not until I look up when I'm standing on the port cockpit do I see our boom has released off to the port side. Jim quickly starts to lash it back down, and as he's doing so, our headsail gets caught on the lower port spreader & all the sudden we hear, zzzzzziiiiiiiip! It splits in 2! Not long after that, while Jim is still taking care of the boom & sail, the auto pilot quits working. We motor, hand steering the entire night, doing only 3-3.5 knots. This is NOT getting me home quickly to my family!
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04/10/2009, Shelter Bay Marina, Panama
The photo is of our first Carribean sunset. Taken at "the Flats"anchorage area.
We were awakened to rain shortly after 5 a.m. Once we closed up hatches, which then the rain stopped just as soon as it started almost, we decided since it's so close to dawn, & we're able to start to see light, to get ready to pull up anchor & head to Shelter Bay Marina only about an hour away, to drop off our crew, top off our diesel & water & be on our way. Shouldn't take more than an hour right? We'll be heading out into the Carribean by 9 a.m. Wrong! Way wrong! It's Good Friday, so no diesel at the fuel barge in SB today. I just hung my head when Jesus, the Marina manager told us that. We are SO CLOSE! The Carribean outside the breakwalls is RIGHT THERE! Going home is just right over there to the E. of us! Had we had any idea we wouldn't be arriving here until today, we would have gotten diesel back on the other side, but we had never heard of any other yachts having to wait so long in the day on the second day of the transit to go through the final locks. But!, there is always an upside. When Jim went to check in at the office, Jorge, one of the SB employees said he would be hauling the trash away at noon and would take our jugs for us & return @ 2 w/ fuel for us! Thank God! So that just gives us more time to get some projects done. We topped off our water, put our hailing port letters, "Traverse City MI" finally on the stern, Jim worked on the cable for the backstay that he started y-day before Jose' came, got the mast for our wind generator installed, and a few other odds & ends. The fuel was returned at 2:45, by the time we filled our tank & returned the 2 borrowed diesel jugs to Claire de Lune so we could leave w/ all ours filled, then continued to pick up our projects, we didn't pull out of the marina until about 5:45, giving us only 45 minutes to clear through the break wall & stay out of the shipping traffic in daylight. As we left the marina, & headed down the channel toward the break wall, there were ominous rainy clouds all around us. This was not projected on the weather we just checked on earlier that afternoon. Now what?! Another delay! Surprised by this time? No. Upset? Yes! I want to get home to my kids!
So we think the better of it and pull off and anchor, wait out the rain, go to bed early & decide when we wake, we leave, providing the weather looks good.
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