Photo: Key West Wildlife.

A Strange Home Port. Key West, Florida, has an abundance of unusual people and unique activity. Working and surviving on this odd little island can be just as adventurous as cruising.
Here, my new store manager, Mark, struggles to overcome being shell-shocked by Key West's culture. (these zany stories have been assembled in a Kindle short read)
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Mark could still be astounded by some of the people who shopped in our isles. The first time he saw the local pirates Mark did a double take, and then helplessly looked at me for clarification. Imposing, the three pirate men appeared as if they’d just finished burying some treasure and were ready for rum. One of them, an amputee, even had an authentic wooden peg leg and a macaw calmly lounging on his shoulder.
When the pirate trio and the parrot were out of earshot, Mark approached me.
“It’s April,” he said, mumbling something about October and Halloween being a long way off. “What’s going on? Are they shooting another movie set around here?”
“I think the Conch Republic sea battle is taking place soon,” I said. “And there are historic re-enactments, pirates and stuff.” The island often held historic festivals and many creative locals were history buffs. Our population of pirate and period actors took great care in recreating old time encampments where tourists could stroll into the past, be entertained, and buy hand made goods.
Peering into the harbor through the store’s windows, Mark asked me to explain the sea battle. I struggled to arrive at what I thought was the simplest explanation.
“Small airplanes drop rolls of toilet paper on the boats fighting each other below. The boats shoot at each other with water cannons and crews throw bread at each other.”
Mark’s perplexed brows remained in the raised position. “Toilet paper?”
“Yeah,” I said. “As the planes drop toilet paper, the paper unrolls into these long ribbons. It’s actually kinda pretty. The planes try to drape them over the schooners and boats. The planes even try to toilet paper the Coast Guard boat that’s in the battle. And then they have a parade…the boats that is, not the planes.”
Mark scratched his head and mumbled.
“Mmm-hmm.” Looking like something else was bothering him, he clicked his pen a few times and squinted at me. “Steve told me that Key West can blow away when there’s a hurricane. Is he serious?”
I pursed my lips and glanced around for Steve. “Steve tells everyone that, the kid is full of beans. Key West can’t float away. He’s pulling your leg”
“Oh. Good.” Walking backwards, Mark stuck his nose into the familiar zone of his clipboard. I watched him nervously hover over the fresh seafood display. He was staring at the whole, fresh caught fish.
Sometime during the day, between the pirates and Steve’s tall tales, Neil had convinced Mark that it was crucial to re-inflate the sunken eyeballs of the fish. Of course this wasn’t true, but Mark didn’t know that...

More zany Key West workplace adventures in the Kindle short read: Odd Jobs