Sunday 2 July 2017

July. Canada Day is gone and America Day is nearly upon us. Amazing how time still flies when you're not having fun. Saturday was also Territory Day and the skies last night looked like shock and awe as most open spaces and local roads were were aswarm with revelers fueled to the gills with XXXX (because they can't spell beer) playing with fireworks. Expect hospitals had a boom night (stop groaning).

Monday

Although primary winches are now primo, ceilings under both remained open. Delaminated plywood-backed headliner over port pooper, damaged by same leak that created a rust ball of previous motor, is being rebuilt. Starboard overhead remains open to repair switch panel excavation (destruction) attendant to making room for installation of secondary winch motor. Masterful, restoration plan in early developmental stage.

Sunday

Mates bound for Indonesia have moved around to Cullen Bay slipway for bottom work and to anchor just outside Cullen Bay lock, respectively. They head off in a week and a half. We'll see them a few more times. Using financial acumen acquired at Uni, struck a bargain with Geoff from Miranda to acquire his car, a Ford. Since we could already use it anytime we wanted, we will now not only pay for petrol, but will shell out a lump sum to own the thing so we can spend even more money to register, inspect and maintain it. Guess that MBA came in handy after all.

Wednesday 12 July

Around 1960 Mary Ellen was the first girl in her grade at Brookland Cayce Junior High to evidence nascent changes that would effect us all. It was quite an epiphany to pubescent male brains to realize that girls their own age would soon all have similar appurtenances. Little did they realize the peril that was represented. To be clear, INDs (infant nutrition devices) are dangerous. They are, as we've recently seen, a common location for tumors to develop and potentially metastasize, but that merely scratches the surface.

For women, depending on apparatus size, extra off-center weight can cause skeletal dislocation, back pain, clumsiness and double take whiplash. Stiletto heels do much the same, but are self-inflicted and beyond the scope of this idiotic polemic.

To prevent them from flying about and possibly hurting someone or at an age getting caught in belt loops, elastic and/or wire buttressed housings (sometimes known as titslings or over-the-should-boulder-holders) are often brought into play (as it were) that, while increasing perkiness, crush lungs creating mild hypoxia causing women to frequent antique shops, tea parties and shoe stores where they buy stiletto heels (there may be other reasons as well). Many women exacerbate the problem by surgically stuffing in heavy sacks of silicon or saline (see above). Ouch!

Soft and jiggly, these protuberant appliances are enticing and even, shall we say, titillating to males, particularly in larger dimension, but for no obvious reason. They're just bags of fat. Oddly many women desire this attention (see above and below). This effect often results in a condition called love (or lust - for teenagers it's the same thing). Life rule #3 is: Love makes you stupid. This causes men to say things they don't mean and women to believe them. Chaos ensues.

Many women conclude there is no reason to have them if they're not utilized, other than as playthings (see above), so feel obligated to produce small models of themselves which make use of the excreta therefrom. These painfully delivered little airheads (trying to have a decent philosophical conversation with one is hopeless) cause decades of misery for their parents. Besides the noise, mess and outrageous cost of having one then watching it become an insufferable jerk a decade plus after the fun part, it will move back in at 30 with its own crumbcrunchers or induce Grammie to force her spouse, who is torn from a wonderful retirement in Florida, to move back to Cleveland so she can babysit.

As an aside, for some inconceivable reason people will pay big bucks to buy one. My excellent if seldom followed advice may be read in the sailblog from 14 May 2017.

To prove the point, even the United States government is fearful of these devices as you can see for yourself by checking Youtube for: "The government hates boobs".

Last piece of advice: Guys, be safe. Don't just pretend you're not staring at women's cleavage, actually look into their eyes. They have two of them and they come in different colors. I kid you not.

Jack