FYI- Bloody Murphy is not related to Bloody Mary's - clearly. Way back in July at bloody Mary's - Bora Bora we had a night of wonderful food and friends that all went all too smoothly for Mary to be related to Murphy. I am thinking Murphy must be a fair age, from what I hear he has been perfecting his role since Adam was a boy. He is no slacker whatever his job description, oh and consistency is his forte.
So in reliving a few of his happenings it went like this.... We were out in the middle of the Pacific and just as we were bringing in the Genoa (the triangle sail at the front) to cut the pace we had built up- Murphy strikes. He, being Murphy picks up one ...yes one, wave to build up enough height at the exact moment we almost had the sail in, and decides it would be fun to fill the ballooning sail with the full force of a wave and watch it blow into shreds.(Well sniggering Murphy don't suppose you saw the spare we had tucked under the forward V-berth below did you?). I think we would have got a double take from him when we changed our plans and returned to Condesa for lunch one day. You see he switched the wind 90 degrees and lifted our anchor out from its 3 day dig, letting us drift close to a reef. But luckily we were back on board and he-who-stopped-humming-mid-hum noticed the change in the motion of the boat and luckily that we were no longer sitting under that tree ashore and we were able to save ourselves and Condesa from becoming a wreck the reef. Two can play this game Mr. Murphy. We like to think of ourselves as kind of 'glass half full' here on board Condesa, so we have room for small error and can count a blessing to be sitting in the bottom of the drained cup. But Murphy whoever you are - it was a very unkind of you to have the oil level drop on the only night I planned a 6 hours straight sleep. I was rather chuffed with myself for swapping for my shift for the captain's shift when he was too sound asleep to disturb. But on the later shift you, Murphy, decided he needs another person (being the first mate) to fill a weenie oil spout in the god dam middle of the motor with messy oil. This is all because "Victor" our auto pilot (Yes everyone names their autopilot) and "Victor" is ours.... well anyway he was starting to squeal. So guess who in a deep sleep state had to get up and play immediately - now that's just downright MEAN! Oh and while I am still annoyed at you for that one, I am going to tell them that it was you who filled our brand new rolled up Genika (another sail that was safely in its storage bag) with hot air from the outside generator until it got to a smoldering state. Yes, I do hold grudges and yes it was back in May and I won't forgive you for something no-one could see coming despite the occasional waft of unrecognizable odour. You must have stoked that heated sail that for ages before we found the source. And having fuel on deck made for a far more threatening issue - not your smartest move. Don't you get bored waiting in the wings for us to find your next trap? Oh look you can play tricks like the handle coming off the trapdoor to a problem area under the floorboards or the surge of water back through a non return valve in the loo - they are kinda funny as they are too ridiculous to be real. Although 'he who' did use some choice words to curse you so don't count on any tune being dedicated to yourself. I acknowledge that you are diverse and skilled in many avenues, but that can be interpreted as a 'smarty pants' and no-one likes a smarty pants. Even when we discovered we were taking on water in the bilge. The quick action of 'he who was white' to jam a cedar plug into the pipe at risk, me, who backed him up to get the information so I could make light of it to our on-board guests, and captain Ron/Pedro who beat me to it and announced with jovial voice to the big eyed guests "Well we are taking on water but..... it will take 4 days to sink and well we are 3 days from our destination so all will be ok!" I don't mind you toying with us but the only time we had visiting crew join us for a leg at sea? Really did you have to taint their journey? However it does make one get up off one's seat and attend to you when you play it like that. Murphy, we are totally aware of you, and I have a small sense of when you are standing back blowing smoke rings in the air waiting for us to notice. Maybe you did help fill a day or two on the journey across the Pacific but you are not getting any younger and so the smarter we get, the less we hope we will hear from you. I could go on and on as the whole 9 months we were at sea you made your presence felt on more days than we care to count. However, I best get back on the game and finish this half glass I have in hand before you think I am too distracted to see you thumbing through pages of your best evers.
And times like this you find remote and hard to get to places to strike again. Here's to you and all your apprentices across the planet - Catch ya never Murphy, even though I know you are with us most of the time. Off you go, take a load off, as we are not so vulnerable here docked in our homeland as we were in the middle of the pacific.
Footnote * I guess I should say thank you for all our lessons learnt on our crossing as they were compliments of "Murphy". There happy now? You have been given credit where credit is due, and I can see still you rubbing your whiskers looking for the next area to strike. That's just the kind of guy you are I guess.