I may be in the dog house but there are no hairs on me
21 April 2017
I had assumed my next blog would be about the Greek hospitality we had experienced by going to church 3 times in one week, being sprinkled with incense, feasting (a loose term) on liver and offal soup, followed by sheeps cheeks for tea at one in the morning, drinking Ouzo and Sprite for breakfast and intestines BBQd on a spit in the afternoon. These experiences seem so insignificant now in comparison to what happens next. Is there any wonder my insides were feeling a little delicate to say the least and that combined with rough seas and strong winds compounded my delicate state by making me feel a little sea sick.
After a sleepless night with the boat being bashed against the quay wall and Mike doing his best to fend it off with lines and fenders there was no other option than to depart our mooring in Poros and head round to Agy Efimena. We knew the wind and swell would not be in our favour so the earlier we could get off the better. As daylight began to break Mike woke me, "come on time to go". Daylight may be breaking but it still looked dark to me, I made my way to the toilet, the boat was bouncing about on its mooring and the traffic kept flying past the making their way to the ferry. Conscious of all the traffic about I decided not to put a light on and would use the toilet in the dark, like us ladies can. As I flushed the "electric" toilet I heard a tinkle on the bowl, no definitely not my tinkle. I could hear the macerator trying to make iron filings of what I could only assume was my tweezers that I had left laid by the sink, this is a toilet that you can't even put paper down. I quickly stopped the pump, the toilet door flew open, Mike had heard my industrial production line "what the hell was that?" "I think it was my tweezers". Both of us peering into either a half full (me being positive) or a half empty (Mike being negative) toilet bowl of dirty water. It was not possible to see the bottom of the toilet so I felt obliged to put my hand in and see if I could feel anything, yes they were there in one piece but unable to get them back up the small gap. With a small bowl I bailed out the toilet, Mike with his magnet on a rod was able to manipulate them around the gap and retrieve them. With a flush the toilet duly filled up, with a second flush it merely spun the water around the bowl and made a very strange noise. "Great, no toilet for 4 weeks, bloody electric toilets, we will be buggered if the pump has gone"
The electric toilet has always been an issue on the boat, it was my desire, my purchase and my earache whenever there is a problem. "Bloody electric toilets, manual ones are so much easier to sort" Well guess I was going to have to cross my legs for a while, our priority was to move before the weather got any worse. I quietly weathered the storm and took my turn at the helm.
Now for all you ladies, you know that moment when your husband buys you a present that he is highly delighted with and expects that you will feel the same! Instead it is a source of disappointment to you because it isn't a precious metal item or studded with precious jewels. Seeing my disappointment at the time of being given it Mike quickly stated "it is the deluxe model" like this made a difference, what is it I asked, examining the strangely shaped plastic tubing. A "shewee, I bought it because when the boat is out the water, you don't have to get up, get dressed and walk across the yard to the toilet in the night, you will need to stand in the shower and practice though so you don't drip". I never did practice but I did throw it in my bag to bring back to the boat. This implement means that a woman can like a man stand and wee in a bottle. Now I could appreciate the thoughtfulness of his gift.
After a quick sleep it was time to start dismantling the toilet, despite Mike saying there was little I could do I felt I had stand by his side and at least give him moral support, that way I wouldn't feel as bad even though it was an accident. There is a plus to my moral support, I, not being practically minded will read the instruction manuals, so when Mike says "How do you get to the motor?" I can explain what it suggests in the manual and fails to show you on utube.
Bit by bit the toilet was taken apart, I like a dutiful wife kept mopping up dirty water as it leaked onto the floor out of the tubes. The top and bottom of it was that the drive belt had torn. Time for a coffee and research on the internet about a replacement part. This resulted in me being back in the dog house when it appeared that you had to buy the whole unit at €359 just to replace the belt, the toilet only cost £400. Those immortal words "I am going to write a letter to Jabsco". We managed to find a temporary solution to the problem and with a bit of swearing managed to reassemble it. Screwed back into position Mike flicked the flush and said "oh darling" as water spilled out over his feet, he quickly realised he had not connected the pipes. Pipes connected he flushed it again, the bowl filled up, now for the test will it empty?, the second flush and the water whirled around the bowl but went nowhere, oh no, the seacock was closed, so third time lucky it worked, albeit a temporary fix. Think I may stick with my shewee wherever possible or visit a local tavern for a glass of wine to avail them of their toilet.