BRICKBATS

We have arrived in a pleasant anchorage to escape the Meltemi. Fandango is head to wind in 15 knots and the anchor is ready to drop, away she goes ... "clunk" the safety latch slips and locks the gypsy on the windlass. The latch is hard to get at and it has failed before. The wind throws us off the spot so we reposition. Away she goes ... "clunk". My finger has to hold the latch clear in a dangerous position to finish anchoring. Instead of having a beer, I spend the next half hour bobbing around on the foredeck disassembling the b.... thing to get at this badly designed, disintegrating plastic latch. Care is needed with the Jesus spring and other bits to prevent them falling into the anchor locker or worse.

This is a typical situation. Most of the gear, especially the big names, is not fit for the job. It's garbage for the weekend bay sailor. Companies today spend up big on advertising at the expense of functionality and reliability. Boat equipment is serious stuff and lives depend on it. Directors of marine equipment manufacturing firms should be put out to sea for a month every year with their gear and then we might see an improvement.

If you are cruising it is not normally possible to get faulty equipment back to the sales point and therefore the warranty is worthless. It costs far more than the item is worth to sail a 1000 miles and spend a thousand dollars waiting in a dysfunctional marina to get it fixed. So you fix it yourself or replace it, if you can find a shop on your wanderings.

This list is not in any order nor does it include everything but the first entry goes to Italian QUICK ANCHOR WINCHES. The "safety" latch was not the only problem but half an hour with an angle grinder fixed the other problem which had caused the chain to jam repeatedly.

JEANNEAU for their poor customer support and causing extra costs for failing to deliver the correct parts under warranty. They put the forward lift out indicators right where the log wheel is. Their exhaust/water trap failed causing flooding of the bilges. Their anchor davit fitting and side panels are not strong enough and don't fit the anchor or Selden's prod mounting. The boat fit out was poor with ceiling panels hanging loose, screws missing from doors, the shower cupboard was not waterproof and things were not aligned properly etc etc etc. They don't always use stainless steel where they should. The teak pulpit step came off when the chrome screws rusted through. It could have killed someone using it to jump from boat to key. The spray dodger handle has fallen apart making it dangerous to use. Bad design again which I have now modified. Carbon dioxide builds up in the cabins because they have no door ventilation. The gas alarm in my cabin soon lets me know about it should I close the door! The coat hook on the back of the head door is designed to drop your clothes on the floor on starboard tack or poke you in the head if you are not steady on your feet. You can't use the head on port tack because of the location of the intake through hull.

SAILING ATLANTIC SERVICES (SAS) at les Sables d'Olonne for substandard workmanship in commissioning the boat and overcharging. After threatening legal action and some help from the dealer, they now owe me euro 365. Jeanneau have been asked to refund the difference for their agent but won't even reply.

VION for refusing to honour their warranty or provide any customer support on a faulty barometer

NAVIONICS for refusing to honour their warranty on chart cards for the plotter. A credit was obtained only when legal action was threatened against the Australian distributor. In Oz the consumer does have enforceable rights. These overpriced cards can't be backed up, they are significantly out of date and not suited to a marine environment.

RULE for a failed bilge pump switch and a failed engine compartment blower after only two months of use.

JOHNSON PUMPS for a failed bilge pump which we repaired out at sea. We were pumping water from the failed exhaust/water trap.

SELAS CHANDLERY at Kos marina for trying to sell us substandard anchor chain when we had stipulated the ISO standard. Then, when we refused to accept it, substituting it with a new chain in three pieces to be joined together.

PLASTIMO life buoys are substandard. No reflective tape or whistle, no pouch for whistle. They only fit small people so you have to add extra cord. These are authorised for marine use by the French authorities! The name plates have fallen off their compasses because the glue failed after only 10 weeks. The crutch straps on their Pilot lifejackets are completely useless. Their hand operated bilge pump is a toy and manufactured simply to comply with the regulation that one be fitted.

The authorised YANMAR SERVICE AGENT at Gouvia Marina in Corfu for trying to double the bill because we wanted a warranty stamp in our service book. (We have a bouquet for the Kos agent)

SELDEN for supplying sub standard halyards, outhaul and reefing lines with their mast and boom. These were changed without question. SAS were waiting for me to complain before changing them over. What if I had not complained? Sheaves on the boom soon stop turning with corrosion of the alloy they use. The vang was incorrectly threaded through the boom and would have snapped had the problen not been spotted. The single line reefing doesn't work which is fine because I prefer slab reefing but single line is added to the boat price. Adding a block at the foot of the mast requires special tools, heaps of patience and don't lose the fiddly bits. The vang holds the boom up but does not allow it to drop when needed. The pole track doesn't go down far enough and there is no ring for attaching the bottom end if you want to carry the pole on the mast. A rigger who checked the installation said they don't make them like they used to!

HARKEN for winches that did not work. The line stripper on the horn simply shredded the lines. Once again SAS knew they were faulty but did nothing until I complained.

UFO TV antenna. Completely useless as it blows away in anything more than 25 knots of wind. No reply to my complaint, therefore warranty worthless.

WICHARD stainless steel attachments seem to rust more than anything on the boat. Their chain hook for the snubber has a retaining pin which jams every time it is used.

RAYMARINE for faulty components and poor software. The instruments do not secure properly to the facia. The autopilot was not properly installed so they say it's Jeaneau's fault, meanwhile I'm out of pocket euro 180!

LEWMAR for side hatches that are too difficult to open and close. Also, roof hatches that have a faulty retaining clamp. We have to use bits of plastic to prop the windows open when we are parked. We have had the hatch re-riveted, stripped the hinge and reassembled it but to no avail, it's a lemon like everything else.

VODAFONE for all the hassles I have had with them.

Ekit phone cards for the problems I have had with them.

ENO gas oven for rusting away within a few months. Perhaps the Aussie authorities are right in making me throw this French one out when I get back and fit an Aussie approved one.

JABSCO toilet seat. This is made of heavy wood sprayed with paint that soon discolours. Leaving disinfectant on it for too long strips the paint back to the wood. It should be made of solid plastic like normal dunnies.

AQUA SIGNAL for navigation lights that don't take normal (male ended) festoon light bulbs. Their anchor light needs tape to hold it together. All are rusting inside already which says a lot for the gaskets.

TOPOMARINE binoculars. They didn't last 6 months before one of the lenses broke off at the thread. These are sold under various brand names but watch out for screw in lenses.

SCHAUB LORENZ TV. It never worked properly but now it doesn't work at all.

MARINA CLUB DE ALMERIA for fuel theft by the staff. They do the hose trick and cheat the club. Don't be the first to fill up here in the morning!

VDO radio. This is on the blink and needs work on the wiring at the back every so often.

RAYMARINE instruments. The instruments pop out now and then which requires 30 minutes work to re-secure them. The chart plotter data card door is not waterproof. The autopilot sometimes does unexpected 360 degree turns or returns to standby. Four technicians have looked at these things. I am out of pocket because Raymarine say Jeanneau didn't install the system properly and Jeanneau say it is a Raymarine problem.

BOUQUETS

The GORI PROPELLER agent in Melbourne, MICHAEL BLAIR from YANMAR, for tremendous help in getting the right prop plus spares freighted direct from the Gori factory in Denmark. Jeanneau gave us the wrong ratios etc but Michael's research saved the day.

MASSIMO COLASBERNA (massimocolasberna@alice.it ) a marine electronics technician in Palermo, who went out of his way in helping us fix the problem we had with a Navionics data card.

DR STAMATIS G. PERIDIS, the dentist in Rhodes who did an excellent and speedy job on my root canal filling for a lot less than it would cost in Oz. The dentist in Oz was also pleased with his work.

BABIS MARICOU (+30 6944 841964) who serviced our YANMAR at Kos marine, for doing a very thorough and careful job.

SUKRU YUCEL at Yatlift in Turkey for his attention to detail and being such a nice bloke.

The manager at the Kardesler Restaurant on the beach at Karaincir (Aspat) for coming out to our boat to pick us up for dinner and take us back. How's that for service free of charge? Another enterprising Turk.

YANNIS, the waiter at the Relax Restaurant in Naxos for being so helpful.

BENALNAUTIC at Benalmadena, southern Spain. Roberto, the boss of this Jeanneau distributor and Mark his assistant managed to get some warranty issues sorted out but the guy who did the work, Francisco, was amazing. Fast and precise, I wish we could have one like him in the tool kit.