I think I have it figured out. People that have children want you to have children, because once you do, a little bit of crazy sets in, which makes you better able to relate to them. I have found myself recently with the patience the size of a thumb tack, and wondering what happened to the once laid back (well, kind of,) person that I used to be. Are the new lines on my face really sun damage/age or just parenting??? I
I have been frustrated by my kids lately(one that shall remain nameless, as to remove all future incriminating evidence that will be used against me by his overpaid therapist). I started wondering why I get so annoyed, would I treat or speak to my friends this way??? Hummmm.
Let's take, for the sake of my story, my friend Bronnie. I love her too pieces and it would take A LOT for me to even hesitate not wanting to see her. BUT, I would I have second thoughts if... she yelled at me at 6:00am at the top of her lungs from her cabin....Jenny/O...EAT!!!! at least fifty times, then hover over me while I make something, throw it on the floor and dump out the juice??? would she then defecate on my carpet?? pour the BRAND NEW FRESH milk(which she used a knife to open), into the BRAND NEW five pound bag of sugar, while I was reanchoring, so we could take her to a beach??? would she indiscriminatingly turn on faucets and leave them running, leave bite marks in every piece of new fruit in the basket, color with pen all over the leather couch, then move on to drawing on cushions in the guest room and finish it all off by throwing her stuff all over the boat?? take her glass of wine (because Bron does not use a bottle), and randomly try and spray the couch with it? Hang on me while I'm trying to talk to someone, bite, hit, spit lunch at people across the table, then scream NO and slam her door?? All before noon??? If so, I may even have to ban Bronnie.....or maybe I would wait to see how things panned out for a day.....maybe....but highly doubtful.
People often ask me about cruising with kids..hmmmm...depends...some days are beyond wonderful and some days I feel I have entered Haities and am somehow repenting for my sins and those of all humanity.
I cannot wait for my sister to have kids. I need her on this side of crazy.