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s/y One Two Many
Travel updates as we move about the Mediterranean Sea
Wrapping up 2 of 3 - Quotes and Jokes
Jonathan
06/14/2009, Real Club Nautico - Palma de Mallorca

So you here are some of the submissions that we were sent to entertain us while we were underway:

Ernie and Bette’s friend Ellen Morris is a skydiving instructor, and offered these words of wisdom to help keep things in check, with regards to not only skydiving, but perhaps any undertaking: “Never let your ego outfly your ability” and if that doesn’t get their attention… : “Stupid hurts” …. Gosh I love 1 liners! Thanks Ellen

My friend Bill offered this quote from TS Elliot: We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.

Kate’s mom Kathleen offered this touching story: Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked," How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 8o% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. "Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" " I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly. "Mrs. Neely , that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands. " Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?" The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, " I outlived the bitches."

But the tee shirt award goes to Ernie and Bette’s friend Steve who sent a litany of tasteless humor (you are my hero) here’s a couple samples:

Two Irish guys are fishing. They find a bottle floating in the lake. one guy picks it up and when he opens it a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. So the first guy says “Turn the lake into Guinness beer,” The genie goes “Poof!” and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, “That was brilliant don't you think?” The other guy says, “You idiot. Now we’ve got to piss in the boat.”

A friend once told me -I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”



But my personal favorite (I am a total sucker for golf jokes)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Thanks Steve – email me your address and I will send a tee shirt!

Things continue to settle down and I get more and more sleep every night, I will post captain's final thoughts in the next day or so.

Wrapping up 1 of 3 - Trivia
Jonathan
06/14/2009, Real Club Nautico - Palma de Mallorca

So here are the right answers to the trivia quesitons:

1. Tom Hanks followed a phosphoresic trail back to safety on his ship in Apollo 13. During an interview he described an incident when he was piloting an airplane and his communication gear was down, and then all of his instruments went dead. Since there was no light in the cockpit he was then able to see the phosphorescence in the water and make his way back to the ship. 2. Mandy Pitinkin’s character Indigo Montoya avenged his father’s death in The Princess Bride. 3. We were in 10-12 foot seas, making 10-12 knots, for 10-12 hours, so D all of the above 4. U2 offered a harbor in the tempest in their song, ‘All I want is you’ 5. Max Headroom was Coke-a-Cola’s spokesperson in the old commercials that coined the phrase ‘Catch the Wave – Coke’ 6. In 2000 Canadian Simon Whitfield won the inaugural running of the sport of Triathlon in the Summer Olympics in Sydney. 7. Kramer dated a girl who had ‘The Jimmy Legs’ 8. In an experimental configuration the Tour de France concluded with an individual time trial in 1989. Greg Lemond was in second place entering the time trial but went 58 seconds faster than first place rider Lauret Fignon. Fignon’s lead entering the time trial was 50 seconds. Lemond went on to claim victory of the overall race by 8 seconds. LeMond’s average speed for the time trial was a whopping 34 miles per hour – the fastest time trial in Tour de France history by almost 3 miles per hour at the time. 9. Tip originally was given at the beginning of a meal and stood for To Insure Promptness. 10. The little bump on the back of your head is called the External Occipital Protuberance. 11. Coldplay performed their song titled Lost at the 51’st Grammy Awards with an appearance by Jaz Z. 12. The advertising slogan ‘Mikey Likes It” was the sales pitch for Life cereal. 13. And in face YES How Long IS a chinease name!

Kate’s mom Kathleen had 11 of 13 right to take the crown as Trivia Champion – Congrats! (send me your address and I will mail your tee shirt!) Thank you everyone for your responses!

Arrival
Jonathan
06/12/2009, 39 33.900'N:02 38.013'E, Real Club Nautico - Palma de Mallorca

We have arrived safely without event in the last 24 hours. We have hooked up shore power and the AC is chillin as I type. My brain is starting to process what has just happened in the last month. I will post several proper summary notes in the next couple days including the final tally on trivia.

Many thanks for following the journey - I am humbled, thankful, excited, drained, emotional, proud, and in sensory overload all at the same time. Most of all i am relieved to know that those that have slept on my watch are here safe.

More to come...

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