Checking into PR was like a comedy. As mentioned before we tied up to the customs dock at Mayaguez in the early morning of the Wednesday the 16th only to be told that a ferry was coming in and so there will be no resources to check us in. They had no issue in us heading to Rincon. The anchorage is beautiful. We are still flying the yellow quarantine flag.

Jen drove Oli, Mark and I the 30 minutes back to the dock to check in at noon the next day. The Customs and Boarder Protection office is large for a town so small....there were no ships in harbour yet 15 or so staff to monitor the entry point to PR.

A security guard made us stand outside the open door while he went to grab an CBP Federal Office. A man came out with the mandatory gun, capsicum spray, batton and light saber strapped to his huge girth. "follow" and we did, "wait" and we did. Passports and boat papers we offered. I had the impression the guy couldn't read. Passports need to be the right way up to read them and the name Ooroo is a name and not a vessel registration number.

So we are waiting by one of those huge X-ray machines. For the sake of this blog I shall call e officer Gilligan. He leaves for 10 minutes and comes back and says "we have a big problem". I'm thinking he has the problem...but that wasn't a helpful thought.

He said, "let me explain! If you came by an aircraft and we didn't want you then the aircraft would have to take you home at no cost to the US government. That is the agreement with have with the aircraft, If you came on a commercial ship and we didn't want you here then they would have to take you back.....this is our agreement with them" he repeated this several times. I cold see Mark wanting to ask questions but prayed he wouldn't just yet. He said "do you understand" about 5 times.

Well we did understand, but didn't know were this was taking us. We all had valid US visas.

He said "we don't have this agreement with private vessels, so if we don't want you in the country then we have no way of sending you home without a cost to the US Government". Ahhhh so that's it.

So we explained to him our predicament. We ripped a sail in DR, we have an issue with the solar controller and so we crossed the Mona Passage because we know we can have these items fixed here. We all but cried.

He explained we need a B1B2 visa and that is only issued in our country of residence. Or we can pay $550 each for a visa waiver.

So we cried poor. To Gilligan's credit he played along with us. Winking and saying "so you don't have any money". He went to seek out his supervisor to see whether we can be issued with a Humanitarian Visa.

I was summoned to chiefs office and he interviewed me about money. I standing like an obedient school kid...he was siting behind a desk....I think this is because we was extremely short or didn't want to stand up without his Batman Utility Belt on. You must have money he said and I agreed. "My crew however don't and if I am to lend money to my crew I can only draw $300 a day from my bank" said I with slight exaggeration. "We wont have a fee for you for almost a week". I was dismissed to go back to the X-ray machine. We waited. Gilligan came back and said we are very lucky, we will grant you a 21 day humanitarian visa due to your unfortunate distressed situation. Yeh. Then he too exaggerated by saying..."this will take a couple to hours to process". It took 5 hrs.

Gilligan spent the next hour one finger typing, umming and ahhing. Eventually he finger printed me...twice. Apparently I was too helpful. He kept asking me not to move my finger as he rolled it around on the scanner. He took my photo.

So I took a photo of Gilligan from my iPad....we had free WiFi so up to Facebook it went.

A huge woman entered the room. She also had the uniform, a shinny shield on her mammoth chest....but no Bat Man Belt. They didn't make them that big. I guess she packed her hardware in her cleavage. Let's call her Jowls.

I said "Hi". And was deflated at being ignored by such a buxom woman in uniform. She started telling Gilligan he was doing it wrong. They argued in Spanish. I think Jowls stared processing us as well. Gilligan started complaining that he had a meeting at 2. I'm thinking that's great, we will be out by 2. But i think he was just making excuses to leave because he didnt know how to work the computer and couldn't be told by her.

They got another guy to come help. This guy had the belt...I knew that before he entered the room. With one leg shorted that the other his hardware jingled like Christmas.

"Hi" I said before I membered my mistake.

Between eating chocolate bars and texting, Jowls slowly typed. We waited.

Poor Jen also was waiting. I asked if we can get lunch and she grated permission for Jen and I alone go the food run. Jen and I took our time, glad to have been sprung. When we returned we told Oli and Mark that Jen beat me at pool. "she much better than you Oli" I gleefully stated. We said the beers were cold too. Much like the soggy tacos we got from Taco Bells. We also had chocolate. I contemplated bribing the Jowls with chocolate bars but concluded that would only slow her down.

The second Guy, I knick named "shuffle". He shuffled paper, lost paper and shuffled across the room to print more paper. He also had a speech impediment. I'm visualizing him making an arrest "fffffffreeze. Or maybe chasing someone. If the culprit ran in circles he may just have a chance. I must have looked goofy to them, sitting on a cold bench seat with a smile on my face.

A few others come and went....I'm not sure how many as they all looked the same. I wondered how they processed the ship the day before. But understood why they couldn't handle three blokes on a boat.

Shuffle made me sign some stuff as captain. I sighed something with Marks name on it and the words "notice to detain, remove or present alien" he signed the one with Oli's name on it were I should have signed. Then he spent 30 minuted shuffling through the papers looking for one with my name on it. Jowls yelled for him to check the printer....no paper with my name on it turned up. He lost interest after awhile and so I think he may have lost it.

I think Jowls took a liking to Mark. Her sitting, Mark standing, holding hands over the finger print scanner. She took her time. She looked up at him, smiled (well I think it was a smile) and then mentioned an ex husband....very random.

I asked when they closed and they said 4pm. It was now 4.30. Ahhh, I thought. Overtime.

I asked if we needed to check out of the country when we leave and Shuffle said no. Mark asked and Jowls said yes. We asked If we could write them when we leave instead and they said yes and even gave me customs and boarder control letter heads to use. That could be fun.

The paperwork they gave me is all wrong....right down to the spelling of the boats name.

It was after 5 when they stamped "Parole" in the passport with the word scribbled beneath it saying "humanitarian" ....I'm out by June 7th or I go to jail.

But I can't complaint. The guys doing this job in Australia can take two years to process boat people.