My thoughts are discombobulated as I try to wrangle the last pleasurable moments out of this life altering journey while to do lists are choking out these fleeting experiences. I want to relish in every sense to capture what is slipping through my fingers; albeit willingly.

To be human is to be in conflicted. I long for family, friends, familiarity and yet I know that I will probably never know a cruiser's life again. I wondered again at the pod of dolphin at least 500 strong that leap, jump and cavort as they catch their lunch. This just never gets old! I wonder, "Is this the last pod of dolphins I will see?" and I know sadness.

We were anchored in the most beautiful anchorage on this journey (this worthy qualification was very difficult to attain given the bounty of beautiful anchorages in Mexico) in Bahia Salinas on Isla Carmen. The shallow, crystal clear waters reveal a clean sandy bottom that just begs me to jump in! My eyes are trying in vain to capture and keep the color in my mind's eye; to store it for future reference when our life in Alberta is turning into the more muted colors of winter. Will I be able to close my eyes and see the turquoise that defies description? I hope so; and again, I know sadness.

Upon arriving back in Puerto Escondido we fortuitously ran in to two cruising families giving our kids opportunities to just hang out with their peers. I see my kids thrive and bond as they share their stories and experiences with kids who have had the chance to live a most unusual life, as we have. Will they be content in a smaller world? Or, worse,
I wonder will they migrate to the easy, convenient, comfortable life in Canada, choosing to leave behind the awkwardness of meeting new people, trying new foods, broadening their minds?

That question lurks in the dark recesses of my mind, not just for Katryn and Zach but for myself and especially for Brad who lives life more passionately than most. Will I have the gratitude to see the simpler blessings in my day to day life? Will this journey have created in our family an insatiable desire to explore, to travel, to live more simply day-to-day, to meet new people, to immerse ourselves in cultures we struggle to understand? We have lived for a year in constant stages of the uncertain; how do we find a place to do laundry; how do I figure out how much it costs; do they do it or do I; when do I come back to pick it up; do I pay now or later; and on and on....every commonplace experience is filled with these types of uncertainties and we have learned to seek things out, to figure out a new way and to resignedly accept things that just don't make logical sense to our way of doing things. Will our life to too convenient, too comfortable, too certain?

As I contemplate my last week in Mexico I am filled with longing to just get going and then a contradictory longing to make this last just a little longer. We have more desert ridges to hike, more people to meet, more beautiful anchorages begging to be explored, new coral reefs to be snorkeled, more time to learn Spanish, one last taco to be eaten, one more cup of crema elotes with chilli and lime, one more whale to spot, one more fish to be caught, one more.....one more.

One more week. I can only hope the days will be richly filled and worthy of remembrance. I never thought I would mourn the end of this journey; and am surprised by the lump in my throat that brings tears to the surface, and once again.....

I know sadness.