So much for choosing a El Nina year - trade winds seem to be just a rumour. The past week has been a sad tale of no wind, cracking sails and challenges to sanity, so much for arriving in Hiva Oa for the festivities. To make matters worse for the slower boats, the wind seems to have died from the back forwards so we spent several days on the radio net hearing of the wonderful winds further forward whilst we sunk further and further back - its just not fair.

As a result we are all going a bit loopy here, especially during the night watches. Yes, the starry night sky without the moon these days is breathtakingly beautiful but it can do strange things to the mind. I have been convinced that Venus is getting bigger ie closer and definitely following us - don't say you weren't warned when it is announced we are on a collision course. Still, I'm not so far gone as Peat Smoke who claim they have their own personal UFO and in desperation have been trying to raise it via the VHF. At first I warned caution (I am an expert having seen both Independence day AND Mars attacks) but now urge that they should submit to a thorough probe in return for some wind or at least a tow - yes it is time to take one for the team.

As final proof that night watches can be hard on the mind - having had no previous tendencies whatsoever and despite being brought up in a house with three brothers, I have now found myself playing air guitar, and not half bad at that. Picture the scene - a still, dark and starry night, the occasional swish of water knocking against the boat and Heather in sillouhette, IPod plugged in, winch handle gripped a la Pete Townsend navigating her way through a particularly knotty riff in Voodoo Chile. If the men in white coats are waiting for me at the dock in Hiva Oa I will fully understand.

Jonathan baked banana muffins today with a little assistance from Betty Crocker - lack of wind indeed produces some strange behaviour.