Yesterday: It's hard to watch someone you love packing his or her things. It's equally hard to be the one packing their things. Scott & I have been together 24/7 for the better part of the last 4 years now so thinking about being apart for 6 months straight is weird. Granted there are times when we can't stand one another and we need some alone time, but you get used to that other person being around or being around soon. Living on a boat, with one person in shore with your only means of transportation off the boat, makes you very aware of where each other is. I told Scott to look at it like this: at least we're not going to be apart because we are mad at each other, just being apart. We figure this is an opportunity to grow without each other: Scott will be sailing without me on the boat (with a friend or maybe solo sailing) and I'll be in a strange new house moving stuff in and buying stuff for the both of us. It's still weird.

I'm still not 100% sure I won't come back to help him sail. Having my doubts about it today. We still want the house either way especially since there are renters in it now and that would provide income. Making big decisions can be hard, huh?

Today: printing out, signing, and scanning all the contract documents. All this involves going in shore with the laptop, printer and scanner - forgetting the printer program - having to go back to the boat, Ah, life on a boat.

A book Scott got me claimed that 97% of women who try sailing like it. Right here, right now 4 out of 5 women don't like it. Maybe she just got her sentence backwards. I don't know who the author of that book interviewed but they weren't the 5 women here in Bahia del Sol. Maybe there is a reason that women were bad luck on a boat. Women worry. It's just one of the things we do. We like knowing we can take care of others and ourselves whether that be physically or monetarily. Women would rather have a job then not have a job and be on a boat. Maybe it's because some of their fellow male sailors don't let them do anything so they 'get' to sit around watching their men do stuff, some times watching them do stuff wrong AND not being able to say anything either. Not fun.

Every one is leaving including us except we are leaving on a plane. I will not return. Hopefully Scott won't have to - if the boat sells here. But then there's still the issue of getting our 'stuff' off the boat (anyone looking for a long road trip to El Salvador & back - just kidding). I have most of my stuff separated into piles (not that there's room on the boat for piles) of:
Stuff I Can Live Without
Stuff I Can't Live Without
and
Stuff I Will Have to Live Without If It Doesn't Fit Into My Suitcase.

After my 2nd sleepless night due to my painfully gassy stomach I broke down and self medicated. Glad I got those extra doses of antibiotics from the first bad episode of food poisoning. And I'll leave one more on the boat for Scott - just in case. The whole thing is making me feel like I want to get out of here. NOW.

Currently suffering from yet another bout of food poisoning. This time it was from something we cooked on the boat. ARGGGG! Scott said his stomach felt a little grumbly but nothing came of it. Maybe it was the combination of the wine I drank to combat all the stress I was feeling.
The best thing to do in this case to not take any medicine and let your body cleanse itself. This, including not making it harder to digest things that are hard to digest so one should only eat saltine crackers, rice, water, watered down fruit juice, water with sugar and salt in it. Stuff like that. So you get tired because you have no energy from lack of nutrition and hydration. I decided to start packing but had to do it in between naps/lying down for a bit. I was hoping that I'd lose a little weight for my re-entry into the 'Land of Youth & Beauty' (the states) but there are those oh so yummy (not really) hamburgers at the hotel for when I can eat. Oh well.

I am committed to going back to the states and getting a j.o.b. ! Yes, yes, I know, you have no sympathy. I understand. I know. I never thought there would be a time in my life when I didn't 'have' to have a j.o.b. I usually had 2 or 3 jobs at a time, I lived paycheck to pay check, I have come back from the grocery store in tears because I had to pay for groceries on my credit card, I've committed 'Financial Suicide' - twice, I watched the Lawrence Welk Show because I couldn't afford cable TV and turned down friends because I couldn't afford going out to a movie or dinner with them. It IS nice having some money. It IS nice not worrying to much about what you want to buy. But money comes and money goes. Money can always be made and spent. That's just how it is. One of the reasons I wish I liked cruising more is because it IS less expensive than living on land - but you have to do what you have to do. "God help me."
It IS hard to making a decent living in the Southwest, but if it got over run with people making fortunes it would be ruined. It will probably be good to get a job especially to keep me busy while Scott is away for 6 months and it may cut down on our arguments when he's back - ha,ha. "The boat just makes us fight." - a line from a recent email from a female cruiser who was just trying boating. Scott & I haven't spent more than 1 week at a time apart in 4 years and that only happened twice. I hope I know what to do with myself when he leaves. You get attached to each other being around. Well, I'll have a whole new life to arrange and 2 new cats to care for! Maybe Hilo is ready to reincarnate back to us, or not. Looking forward to some 'cat love'.

Since 'running out' to the store is an hour car or bus ride to the nearest town, sometimes this is all the 'fresh' veggies we have on the boat. Especially if I don't grow sprouts. Ha. Ha. We're not really vegetarians but we seem to like veggies more than some people we meet.