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Who: Kimball Corson. Text and Photos not disclaimed or that are obviously not mine are copyright (c) Kimball Corson 2004-2016
Port: Lake Pleasant, AZ
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Looking Back for a Moment

15 September 2014 | Pago Pago, American Samoa
Kimball Corson
The Greater of my Regrets

I don't need to be at death's door to know what it is. I am far enough along to know already. My life has been a long and great learning rampage across many fields because I have always been happiest climbing up one or another learning curve. Most all of what I enjoy doing is learning or being environmentally interactive. Indeed, I write what I do simply to examine my own thoughts. Be all that as it may, today I was saddened and indeed shaken to learn about the death of a women I knew very well once. My feelings are further roiled by the fact she was the mother of someone I have always profoundly loved who slipped out of my life in a sea of regrets. But that is another story and one I will never tell.

As to the deceased mother, she was doctrinairely Catholic but had a much larger and more expansive view on life than that description would suggest. Her implicit life goal was to have others advance according to her considerable lights and she made that happen with all her might. I and her subjects did not always agree with her particular agendas for us, but she had many others that were quite laudable, even according to my atheistic views. I never could bring myself to convert, but she was a real singer, even if that song simply was not for me.

Reflecting on her death, however, made me realize something. It is my greatest failing. I have never given enough back to others on my journey, although many gave to me. My focus is too narrowed by my grand endeavor, broadly conceived, and I have not helped others enough along the way or so I conclude as I look back. We all fall short here, but few so grandly as I do. I simply live too much in my head and in my personal interactions with my changing environments. Oh, I am socially interactive enough but my reach to other's needs is truly as small as my deceased friend's was large. Her death brought that point home to me resoundingly.

So consequently, I have this great regret -- or indeed, two -- which her death made me realize and focus on, although each in different ways.
Comments
Vessel Name: Altaira
Vessel Make/Model: A Fair Weather Mariner 39 is a fast (PHRF 132), heavily ballasted (43%), high-aspect (6:1), stiff, comfortable, offshore performance cruiser by Bob Perry that goes to wind well (30 deg w/ good headway) and is also good up and down the Beaufort scale.
Hailing Port: Lake Pleasant, AZ
Crew: Kimball Corson. Text and Photos not disclaimed or that are obviously not mine are copyright (c) Kimball Corson 2004-2016
About:
Kimball Corson: I am a 75 year old solo sailor, by choice. However, I did take on a personable, but high maintenance female kitten, now a full grown cat, named KiKiPoo when she is sweet, or KatKatPo after she has just killed something like a bird or bat. [...]
Extra:
Although I was a lawyer and practiced law with good success for thirty years, creating significant new law, I never really believed in the law, the politics of law or in the over reaching self-interest of most lawyers I met. Too much exposure to Nietzsche and other good and seriously thoughtful [...]
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Profile

Who: Kimball Corson. Text and Photos not disclaimed or that are obviously not mine are copyright (c) Kimball Corson 2004-2016
Port: Lake Pleasant, AZ