Nuts

Ever bought a coconut at the supermarket?

If so, I'm sure you're familiar with the ensuing routine.....

1. Take coconut into kitchen
2. Take wife's (or partner's) best knife and set about attacking coconut.
3. Get bollocking for using good knives.
5. After 10 minutes of hacking, stabbing and prodding, provided fingers are still intact, take coconut to garage, (or other "man cave").
6. Select your biggest implement. Ideally something like your JCB heavy duty, "Professional" screwdriver.
7. Recommence hacking and prodding.
8. Finally, like Fort Knox, your nut having resisted all efforts to break in, find your slightly fusty, cobweb covered power drill, unravel the 15 metres of electrical cable that has lain untouched for months and plug in.
9. Fit a 10mm bit and drill into the handily provided dark dimples on the top of your nut.
10. Finally, grazed and bleeding, you're in.
11. Pour and drink

Quite a faff for half a cup of dirty water and you haven't even started skinning your knuckles in the forthcoming attempt to get at the flesh.

All pretty pathetic for us humans when a couple of tiny hermit crabs can chomp their way through the hard outer skin of any fallen nut, tear apart an inch of coconut fibre, (the stuff Heyerdall tied his Kontiki raft together with,) and finally they then chew threw the inner nut, the bit that fir the past hour has resisted all your feeble hacking. Armed only with a pair of super tiny pincers the hermit crabs feast on the fallen coconuts day in day out and no sign of a a dangerous implement or still anywhere.

It does take a couple of weeks of chomping to get in. I never said they were quick but they are effective.