Well, that's a title that will sound familiar to many Scottish readers.

Somewhere along the line in our travels we managed to earn our small commission from the Sottish Tourist Board by convincing Dave and Linda that they had to make a trip to see Scotland.

First mistake from the 101 Book of "Driving Tourism to Your Country", don't invite people who are well travelled. Best focus on folks whose biggest trip has been to the new IKEA or, at a push, a nearby Disney.

"Oh look, there's an eagle......or maybe it's actually a seagull. Hard to tell from this distance." Oh look, there's a whale.....or maybe it's actually just a wave from that wee fishing boat."

Dave and Linda, coming from the USA, where, as most Scottish folk will know, everything is big, we'd really worried just how we might impress. On their day trips to their islands off Ventura, California, Blue Whales wander past while sea eagles pluck 12lb fish from the ocean.

Our Eagles might be Eagles or, more likely they're just seagulls at a distance. Our whales might just be a passing wave, or maybe a porpoise but boy, when it came to running water, we had 'em licked. Rain. We had it in bucket loads. But were they down hearted....not that they'd confess anyway!

Finlay's (the waiter in the hotel in Arran) deliverance of "To a Mouse", "To a Louse"and "Tam O'Shanter" put the cap on it. Just blew them away. Absolutely no idea what was being said but blew them away anyway. His keyboard skills might not have been quite what we've become used to, knocking around with Julian, but Finlay's Burns was a masterpiece.

Castles, Isle of Mull ferries, single track roads and mountains in the mist hopefully made for an enjoyable wheech round Scotland. Anne and I certainly enjoyed it. Great to see the old haunts and indeed, the distilleries. Given the tipping rain, I'm thinking that distilleries might actually have nothing to do with whisky. I've a suspicion they're funded and run by the Scottish Tourist Board to give our foreign guests somewhere to go during a period of slight precipitation. (May 'till September - summer!)

However, the main purpose of this trip home (not that you'd know it) was too see les grand weans, both number 1, Freya and most recently, #2, Matthew. (Hi wee man. First time your name's been in print?)

Return to Maine is looming so better stop this waffle and do something productive......... suggestions please.