Here it is September and we are at a crossroad of sorts.
One famous cruising couple insists that cruising should be done while you are young. In many ways I agree with them. As our bodies, age the rigors of cruising become a little harder and while we do not all age the same way, there is a certain advantage in the vigor of youth. Even though we see their point (and we really do), for us, there have always been other factors to be considered too.
We are a couple who have their feet spread over two continents and that means a life of juggling. When we were young, every time we'd pack up and go travelling one or the other set of parents would feel we'd deserted them. When we cruised south from Canada to the Bahamas, my parents missed us but understood that we weren't THAT far away. On the other hand, Manny's parents felt that we had disappeared into a remote hinterland. When we arrived here on the Red Sea, Manny's family understood that we were actually close by, while my parents felt that we'd disappeared forever. Over the years those distances have cost a hefty price. During our stay in Canada, Manny lost his father and grandfather. While we've been here in Israel I've lost both my parents. No matter where we were, we were too far away to be there for both our families.
These are the worries that go through the minds of all cruisers and everybody has to make their choices based on what feels right for them. In the end, Manny and I made the choice to stay here on the Red Sea, close enough to have regular contact with his aging mother - the last parent. We felt we'd have the freedom to explore the northern reaches of the Red Sea and still be close enough for regular visits.
Two years ago Rachel was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and being close by began to take on even greater importance. Last December, Rachel fell and broke her pelvis, and the disease began to take greater control. By the end of June, we were with her full time. Rachel left this life in the middle of August and we spent the rest of the summer in mourning. Now a month later, we can look back and be grateful that this time, with this parent, right till the end, we were there by her side.
Rachel became my Israeli mother and quite the role model. She had a fighting spirit while still being gentle and compassionate. One of her outstanding attributes was the ability to accept change and make the best of what she couldn't alter. For a woman whose life revolved around family, accepting the fact that her only son had moved half way across the world to live on a sailboat couldn't have been an easy adjustment.
It feels like yesterday when I watched her rolling her huge suitcase down the dock to our little sailboat/home in Pickering, Canada. She was as far out of her element as she could be. As her heels clicked along the dockboards, I remember the raised eyebrows of our neighbours, but within days she had settled in to the life of the liveaboard.
Some months later when we had parted once again, we were now anchored in the Bahamas. On a hot day long before cell phones, internet or Skype, we rowed our dinghy ashore and walked the two miles into town to the only phone booth on the island. Several months into our cruising, we each were going to call home. After several tries we finally got a connection to Israel and Rachel picked up the phone. After hellos and where are you's, she asked Manny if he could do her a favour.
"Can you pop over to the Israeli consulate in Miami and fill out a form for me. They'll mail it express".
Manny looked at me mouth agape. Now just how was he going to explain to her how impossible that would be?
As the years went by, Rachel began to understand that the cruising life wasn't just a whim, it really was what made us happiest. Now and then when we'd catch her bragging to friends about our experiences, we knew she was finally accepting our lifestyle.
A few years ago, on a long delivery we decided to surprise her on her birthday. Ignoring the outrageous cost we were about to incur, Manny called her from the boat's satellite phone. When he said hello, she asked him where we were. As he explained that he was calling from the middle of the sea on a passage east through the Med, we could feel that she didn't quite get it.
"So you won't be here for my birthday dinner?" she asked.
Some of the realities of our lifestyle simply weren't comprehendible.
As we begin to return to our life aboard Yofy we look forward to the next year. The death of the last parent is a crossroad of sorts. We have decisions to make.
Even as we sit and weigh our options, we feel Rachel gently urging us to follow our dreams. It's true, we're not as young as we used to be and we may have to alter our choices because of that. However, these last years have taught us that we don't need to go half way around the globe to find pleasure in cruising. One thing is for sure. Wherever we go, we'll make the best of it, Rachel.
Rachel Kremer 1927 - 2015