A Rum Drinker's Guide
02 February 2017
A rum drinker’s guide to nautical terminology. The real definition is shown after.
Just a jokey blogpost today. We don't drink that much rum. Honest…..
Victualling:
Going to the shops to buy rum.
The act of provisioning a ship for sea.
Stowing for sea:
Making sure that the bottles of rum won't break whilst ensuring they are within easy reach.
Stowing items down below in order that they are not dislodged in rough weather.
A run:
When you have run out of rum and you have to sprint to the shop which is just about to close.
A point of sailing when the wind is directly behind the stern of the boat.
A close haul:
When you only just make it to the shop in time.
Sailing as close to the wind as possible.
A reach:
The distance between one’s drinking hand and the rum.
A point of sailing when the wind comes from ninety degrees to the boat.
Close reach:
The rum is easily to hand.
A point of sailing when the wind is off the forward quarter.
Broad reach.
A little more effort is required to reach the rum.
A point of sailing when the wind is off the stern quarter.
Goosewinging:
When you have run out of rum and have to resort to vodka.
A point of sail directly downwind when the mainsail and genoa are on opposite sides.
Spinnakers:
A very nice bar in Saint Lucia that has very good rum cocktails at Happy Hour. Large voluminous kite like sails used for progressing downwind.
The sun is over the yardarm:
One can drink rum once the sun is over the yardarm. Many inventive methods can be used, such us hanging upside down from the boom, to ensure that this is a permanent situation.
Using the sun as an aid to navigation in olden times before they invented the GPS.
Splicing the main brace:
Making up an excuse to drink rum.
Drinking rum to celebrate winning a battle at sea or similar occasion.
Three sheets to the wind:
Having drunk too much rum.
Sheets are the ropes that control the sails.
Heave to:
The after effects of drinking too much rum.
An important nautical manoeuvre that uses the two sails to counter impose each other therefore causing the boat to stop in an emergency.
Rhumb line:
The shortest distance between oneself and the rum.
A straight line between two points on the curved surface of the earth. Very important in navigation.
Avast behind:
A lady sailor who has given up going to the gym due to having drunk far too much rum.
A warning cry to those to the stern of the vessel.
Jolly jack Tar:
A sailor who has drunk far too much rum.
A British sailor on a ship flying the Union Jack in the olden days when ships were coated with Tar.
The upper scupper:
The place to vomit from if one has drunk far too much rum, preferably on the leeward side or the vomit will fly back into your face. And if the waves are breaking it will wash away the sick saving you from the ignominy of having to slink out in the morning with a bucket.
Outer side of an upper deck of a ship along which water will flow if waves are breaking over the bow.
There are many more but I don't want to drown you with nautical terminology. Watch this space for the next episode of the rum drinker’s guide to seamanship.