Saturday 16 January 2021

After swimming with older Apple, guest now in possession of expensivest iPhone on the planet. Except for expenditure of a unit, happiness reigns as even eye glasses, which had attempted escape at same time, were recovered next morning from below dinghy dock. She's sanguine about tribulations as we endeavor to supply a complete cruiser experience.

In our inexorable need to thrash ourselves senseless showing off all of Key West we rode the Conch Train (for the uninitiated "conch" is pronounced with a hard "k", not "ch"), toured the Hemingway house, walked full length of Duval Street up to Southernmost Point, toured the lighthouse (eighty eight steps), visited Mallory Square and Sunset Pier, had drinks and/or meals at First Flight Restaurant and Brewery, birthplace of Pan American Airways, Schooner Wharf Bar, Funky Rooster Coffee, Fogarty's, Onlywood Grill, Rams Head in Bahamas Village, Two Friends and others and shopped 'til they dropped, buying among other things a replacement iPhone 12 Pro Max. But wait, there's more. Coming Up: Wreckers Museum, Aquarium, Mel Fisher Maritime Museum and Harry Truman's Little White House. Other bar possibilities: Hog's Breath, Irish Kevin's, Sloppy Joe's, Green Parrot, Margaritaville, Captain Tony's. And if we're feeling especially frisky: 801 Club transvestite show and Garden of Eden clothing optional bar.

Tuesday

Would continue to list all activities, including the girls checking out every CBD store in Key West (and there are a ton of them) before buying a couple of jars, but nobody needs that.. or perhaps the cannabidiol.

Last day of visit so we'll need an early start to see every additional bar in town. There are well over a hundred and we've checked the box on only twelve or fifteen so a max effort will be necessary. A Duval Street crawl involves forty three. Pretty sure there are enough bars in the Keys to visit a different one every day of the year and then, since you've likely forgotten, start back at the beginning. Speaking of which, Irish Kevin's motto is, "I came, I drank, I don't remember". To secure proof, buy a T-shirt early in the evening.

For everyone who didn't know he or she wanted to come, here are a few enticing facts: Forty two bridges connect this two by four mile island to the mainland, there was a railroad before there was a road (the Overseas Highway), the city was once the richest per capita in the US due primarily to wreck salvaging, Key West seceded from the US in 1982 to become the Conch Republic and it's home to the third longest coral reef in the world, more bartenders per capita than anywhere in the nation at over thirteen per hundred, a very large LGBTQ population and a legion of feral chickens. There's no place like it. A caveat - If you're illiberally religious you might want to stay in for example Mississippi, especially during Fantasy Fest - last week and a half of October. Oh my!

Jack & Jan