A matter of technique…
24 August 2022
by Paul & Shannon Archer
How do you drop an anchor? Well, maybe you don't and the question has never crossed your mind.
But it certainly is quite topical here and it has certainly been an education to see the way these Europeans do it.
Germans do it naked. They anchor quite well, but these people cannot keep their clothes on. Which is ok, I have no problem with their free and easy ways (Germans? Free and easy??) but it is one thing to anchor naked, it is quite another to follow the anchoring with a full workout on the front deck. I mean every position you can think of. There is no nook or cranny left to the imagination. I don't want to see that! But, dear God, I can't look away. It would be ok if it were some of those good looking Germans. You know, like Heidi Klum. If Heidi wanted to do a full naked workout on the boat next to mine, well, I could put up with that. But no, we always seem to get Frauline FatBrau and her enormous husband Wolfgang Too Many Steins. But boy, do they workout.
Then there is the French technique. I call this Set and Forget. The French sail into a bay, drop the anchor, turn off the motor and immediately get into their tender and take off for a restaurant. No checking if the boat is anchored to the earth, which is the point of the exercise. We had a boat in Menorca that anchored this way and we then watched in dismay as their now empty boat dragged through the whole fleet of anchored boats, making us all lift our anchors and move to avoid a collision. And they did it twice! Anyone who has been to France knows the French do not do anything quickly (well, except surrender...) but you should see how quick they can evacuate a yacht when it is meal time.
The Italian technique is interesting. Come into the anchorage sideways to the wind. Do not, under any circumstances, point into the wind. Hit reverse and drop your anchor. You are now going backwards, sideways to the wind. Stop the motor and congratulate yourself on a good anchoring. Then look horrified as your boat swings to align itself with the wind which means it smacks sideways into whoever is unfortunate enough to be nearby. Lots of hands gestures and momma mias! And start all over again.
But this has nothing on my favourite technique, which I call Grip It And Rip It. This is favoured by boats full of young guys, tanned and shirtless. The first time I saw this technique I thought the guy was in trouble, but have now seen it enough to realise it is deliberate. It works like this. Position yourself upwind of the anchored fleet. Put the boat in reverse. But not gentle reverse. Give it all she's got. Get that thing flying backwards. As you get into the anchoring area, drop your anchor. Do not slow down at all. At this point your anchor will be bouncing over the ocean floor, ripping up seagrass, hitting rocks, pipelines, other boats' anchor chains, the lot. At some point, if you are lucky, your anchor will bite into something, you come to a rapid halt and ta-da! You are anchored. Probably for ever.
Then there is the one I call the Burn Out. It is a bit like Grip It And Rip It, but you do it forwards. Neon coloured swim trunks with a heavy gold neck chain typically identify the user of this technique. You drive in to the anchorage from an upwind position, in forward gear as fast as you can go. At some point start dropping the anchor and keep going! Drive straight over your anchor and chain at full speed. When the anchor catches, the boat swings around giving everyone onboard whiplash and making the nearby boats dive for cover. I am waiting for the day this technique rips the anchor winch out of the boat.
Finally there is the Croatian technique, or "I Love You Baby". You can be in a large bay all by yourself, with heaps of space, and if a Croatian boat comes in, it will anchor so close to you that you can count grandpa's nose hairs from where you are sitting. I mean friendly is ok, but a little social distancing people!
More than 50% of the time, we see one of these techniques being used. I do not know what boating training is done in Europe but it sure must be fun. Recently whilst anchored with 12 other boats in the "Blue Lagoon", a fairly tight bay, the wind came up. Not much, but it starting gusting a little over 20 knots, which should not challenge any boat with a well set anchor. 6 of the 12 boats immediately starting dragging their anchors, causing complete chaos in the bay.
So we have learned that we have to watch very carefully whenever a boat comes to anchor nearby. We have perfected the "you better not anchor there" stare, as well as the "I know more swear words than you" shouting technique. I am still working on the "I will stick this boathook in your eye" technique, but I am sure it will be needed.
And you thought sitting in a beautiful anchorage was peaceful and idyllic???
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