Ahh, La Vie à Deux. Doesn't it conjure up images of pure Happyness, Total Bliss, and Romantic Romance? Yes? Good. But then you wake up one morning, and it's raining... You KNEW there'd be rain, right?

Today is Friday, and we're getting up close and personal again. Just for Fun, Just for You, All About Us, Always on Fridays

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Just in case today's your First Friday with Us (Welcome Aboard), you can click here for the What and Why of our Fridays in June Series.

Today is the Second Armchair Discussion where we tackle La Vie à Deux.

"I don't know if I could live with my wife /husband/ partner in such a small space, for that long a time" is probably the most asked question (and flat out statement, with some added exagerated visual head shaking) we've been responsible for trying to answer.

For us, life in close quarters has, over the last five years, been and become, our normal. We don't even think about it anymore and I suppose it often takes questions from others for us to step back, and say hmm, let's take a peek and talk about our life.

So what IS it like to live in 40 feet of Boat (SV Banyan),



or in 25 feet of RV (MoHo)?



Or maybe both, at once? {{ shudder }}



He says: It's a good thing we like each other.
She says: {{ giggle }} Sure enough.

There's a physical dance you learn to choreograph when moving around each other in small spaces.

"So as not to step in each other's toes" says He.
"Literally, and physically" says She, "Like I did this morning..."
"My toe still hurts..." moans He.

Dramatic or not, you're in a tiny space, and you're going to bump into each other! That's all there is to it. Saying I'm sorry and acknowledging the Ouch, goes a long way further than exaggerated Sighs and Moans, compounded with critical and offensive retorts.

"So what are your plans this morning" asks Dave over coffee.
"Hmm, lets see, I'd like to go ashore and get the laundry done, and the freezer needs defrosting... " I reply as I check my To Do list.
"Oh, I was planning on changing the engine oil before we leave here in a couple of days " he says, "but I can do that while you're ashore. And maybe you can do the freezer tomorrow and we go for a walk this afternoon?"
"Sounds good" I say, "but before we do any of that, I do need to organize and put away the stuff we bought yesterday."



Rule number one when living in small spaces : It sure helps when you're space is organized and clutter free. You don't need more things laying around to bump into other than each other!

"Do you cook All.Of.The.Time?" A girlfriend asked me, after spending a week vacationing with us. "Mostly, yes" I reply. And I smile.

Although we live in an age where it has {perhaps} become a bit of an overzealous achievement for both partners to be absolutely equal, all of the time, we found a few key things come into play when it comes to tasks and chores and life in small space living.

For example: For US, and for me, cooking {most} of the time, works. There's not enough room for two of us in five feet of space with two feet of counter, one knife and one cutting board, chopping vegetables, you know?

"Besides, I love to cook" She says.
"And I love that you love to cook" He says.

For US, me staying out of the way or rather, being the GoFer Girl, while he's checking the tire pressures or changing the engine oil, works.
"'Cause, you know, I just have no interest in tire pressures, or oil changing" She says.
"But you could..." he confirms.
"I could" I say.
He laughs.

But you know what? He had a great day doing what he does best, and I needn't worry about it other than updating the log book indicating the engine oil got changed at the noted mileage. And I'm happy spoiling us with what I do best, cheffing us up a fine meal.



Except for BBQ's, which is totally his forté. That day he did it all, and BBQ'd to boot. And I raised a glass in thankful appreciation. 'Cause I know there have been and are, and will be days where I will do it all, and that's OK too. 'Cause that's how it goes.

We believe it's important to know and understand each other and what works for your relationship. Use your own individual strengths and your core passions to make your CoupleDom a happy place to be. Don't try to compete with the couple on the Boat or RV next door, because that's how THEY do it, because if a particular task ain't for you, it'll do nothing but stress you out, and who do you have in 40 feet of space to take it out on? Right.

And later that afternoon, the chores done, we're both feeling accomplished and satisfied as we sit back and enjoy Sundowners, our Life, and Each Other.



Cheers! WE say.

"I'm feeling tired today..." says He. "I think I'll just go for a nap" Cue the silence feature, right?

Which leads me into talking about Open and Honest Communication. Not using Ego driven words, but mutually motivating ones. It's a verbal dance of expressing wants and needs, with just enough hints of compromise that result in reciprocal appreciation and HappyNess. Remember Mars and Venus, the planets that wrote the book? Don't much matter which one you're from, learn each other's cues and language. One thing's for sure: Your partner CANNOT read your mind. Ask for your needs. Speak your wants.

"We're still working on that, aren't we?" Says She.
"Yup" says He.

Be clear and concise and short and sweet. And Kind. Always be kind.

"That part's easy" says We.

It's kind of hard, when you're together 24/7 to find time to be alone, right? Believe it or not, you can still sit side by side, and still give each other the gift of quiet time. Breathe in the Patience. Quietly.

If you didn't get along in a Four Floor house, don't expect to get along in 40 feet of space. All relationships are a work in progress, and require daily nurturing and effort.

We asked for input from our Readers, Family and Friends. Thanks so much for playing along. Here's our answers to your questions and comments.



From Andy & Judy (SV Jacobs Ladder): What do you like better, Land cruising or Sail cruising?
And in a similar vein, from Ellen on The Cynical Sailor: The differences you see between the MoHo and the Boat?

Life on the boat, and life in the MoHo are very different, and it's really hard to choose one over the other. We're explorers at heart and Adventures are our fuel! The boat, the MoHo, and just recently our bikes, are the tangible vehicles we do it with.

There are things we prefer on the boat. There's nothing like breathing the salt air when sailing on the seas, the total sense of freedom when out there with nothing but the wind to direct your course, or even destination.

"And the boat has Auto!" I clap, gleefully.
"On the RV, we have to sit there, and drive! Imagine that?"

Driving on two (or more) lanes of traffic with cars, motorcycles and big rigs whizzing by leaves you with a sense of claustrophobic urgency. Even though we usually take the side roads,



that allows us to travel through quaint towns and much slower paced of life, there's still a more frenzied pace to be felt of life on land. And you know what else we miss in the RV? Break, Break: There's no VHF in the van. How fun would it be to call the rig that just passed us by and say Hey!

Question 2: Anything you would do different?
Absolutely not!

From our Sailblogs, Allen White asks: "Does the bathroom have a fan?"
It sure does.

That's it and that's all folks.

The reality of life is that sometimes smelly crap happens, right? You can block your nose and complain till you're blue in the face. Or you can turn the fan on, and laugh about it as you walk run into the other room.

You may be living in small spaces but remember why you're out here: To explore this wonderful World we all live in. It's not for everyone. But it works for us.



Thanks for reading! And now we turn it over to you. Message us your questions, or Email us your doubts. From the reality of our home to yours, from our comfy cozy armchairs to yours, we'll do our best to answer them, as honestly as we can, up close and personal. Just for Fun, Just for You, All About Us, Always on Fridays.

Stay tuned...