Hello Fifites!

When I was just a little girl 50 seemed old. Well as a young child anyone two years older than your age seems OLD, right? As a teenager I remember my parents being in their fifties, and they and their age... seemed so old-ish. I couldn't even fathom myself being fifty something. Being that old you know?

Today I turned 50. And I honestly don't feel a day over... Tuesday. Do you know what I mean? Wednesday being hump day and everything else being downhill? I don't even feel like I'm there yet either. I honestly feel like I've got a ways to go to just get to Tuesday, just arriving at the best times. Always Thinking Great Thoughts, right?

Age is JUST a number and I hate using it to identify with, to possibly define myself within the confines of a number, or what society deems that number to be. I am just me. Today. Here. And luv'ing it.

I barely remember my first decade, but then who does? I'm not sure what my first memories are. Snippets here and there. Born in Germany with Slovenian Roots. We landed in Montreal when I was 6 months old. My parents had a few suitcases, my sister and me and were starting a new life. Can you imagine getting rid of all your possessions and flying over an ocean, and landing in a new land where you don't speak the language(s), with two suitcases and two young kids, and starting over with only that ? That is what they did, to escape the Communist regime of their area, of that time.

I remember a few memories in an apartment, but mostly of my home in Chateauguay, where I placed baby teeth under a pillow in anticipation of a tooth fairy, Christmas tree decorated in the living room. My grandmother came to live with us at some point however I somehow always remember her being there. Of sharing a room with my sister who, 9 years older than me, was a great inspiration. Halloween costumes and getting my ears pierced and cultivating traditions. Elementary school. Building immense forts and tunnels through the snowdrifts that the snowplow would pile up in the cul-de-sac street I lived on. Contrary to my friends, we were a small family with no relatives nearby. We were different: spoke a different language, brought up with different cultural traditions, which was sometimes hard, when all a young child wants to do is fit in? Today? Today I love that I am somewhat different. I embrace that quirky in me.

My second decade? From the very formative and sometimes defining ages of 10 to 20? Wow, so much anticipation to hit the 'teens! I was going to be an adult! Then there was high school, sigh. I was such a bookworm. I loved school which no one else did, and I did well, which was not normal either. I loved books more than I loved makeup which set me apart. Always the *almost* last to be picked for the team in that dreaded gym class. I hated that I wasn't part of the pretty girls of the "in" crowd, but despite a few incidents wasn't really picked on too much. I had a few friends. I had a boyfriend or three. I continued on in school, knew all about life of course, worked a few jobs: McDonalds, grocery store cashier, restaurant waitress. Life was pretty normal and tame and somehow I felt pretty darn good about it all.

My twenty-something years and my third decade: I had a couple of great jobs. I married my high school boyfriend. We got posted to Nova Scotia so I left my family and started anew, thrilled and excited as we all are at that age to finally be on our own, in the real world. And then the best thing EVER happened: my children. My son when I was 24 and my daughter when I was 26. Children are for life! They have been, and continue to be, my pride and my joy. My Everything.

Ah, my thirty something years and my fourth decade. One I would sometimes rather forget, but it's the tough years that define you don't they? In five very short years I lost what felt like Everything. My parents and my grandmother fell ill one at a time, suffered their illnesses, and passed on. It's hard to lose one's parents. And they were so young. And I was so young. And I miss them so terribly, especially today, where I would have loved to have gotten to know them, adult to adult. And during that time my marriage fell apart. Life as I knew it was gone and I was truly alone and on my own. My thirties were a very tough time. Yet I somehow feel that, without that time, I would not be WHERE I am today. I would not be WHO I am today. Because it's the tough times that call out your soul.

I was so relived to enter my forties: my fifth decade. I felt like a Phoenix emerging from the darkness, a little worse for wear but renewed, reenergized. A lot wiser? Perhaps. Feeling like I'd lived a lifetime. And as I discovered a new me, I fell in love with that new me. And with life. I watched my children grow and soar and fly on their own. They did well in school, had typical teenage jobs, graduated their teens and entered their twenties. A little nostalgic for the baby years where they were mine 24/7 and hugs were all that mattered. Then? Then I met my Capt'N and felt real love again. With him I shared all of me and he became my Everything. Our little family grew a little bigger as he had a son the same age as my daughter. For a while we lived together, shared a similar dream of Adventuring and as certain life events came to pass, worked towards making our dreams reality. And executed, perhaps a little sooner than expected. And with the support and wisdom and encouragement of our three kids who said: "Go Now while we're busy, Have Fun, and you'll be back when we're settled!" So we did. We sold everything, moved on a boat, and sailed Somewhere South of Somewhere.

Which is where THIS BLOG STARTED seemingly a LifeTime Ago.

And here I am, starting my sixth decade: my fifties. Still Sailing. And now RV'ing. Always Adventuring. Wondering what's ahead and living one day at a time. My little family is growing. My son who is excelling in his chosen field as Art Curator, has recently gotten engaged to a wonderful man and a marriage is in the works for next year. My daughter is almost ready to enter the nursing world and in a relationship with a supportive and caring man, they are adulting and building their lives together. My step-son also doing well now, studying accounting and with both feet on the ground running fast and winning medals.

I know there are plenty new adventures awaiting on the horizon for all of us. Some will be good and perhaps some not so good. And that is alright.

Thank you all for reading. For being a part of and sharing the incredible journey that is our life. For supporting us with your comments that embrace and surround us with love as we Adventure, OnOn.