Birvidik

And so it came to pass that the Birvidikites did forsake the lands of the Eastern Aegeanites, crying unto The Lord "Verily this Meltemi wind business is getting right on my tits, let us bog off to the land of the Western Aegeanites, who call themselves the Atheniites but whom everyone else calls the economic-basket-case-ites."

And the Birvidikites did consult with graven images, known as In-ter-net and found that the land of the Atheniites was truly blessed, with good cheap wine and no Meltemi wind business and not much smiting and so they did hie themselves thence forth bloody with.

After much tribulation they did arrive at the land of the Atheniites at the place called Por-os and they saw that it was dead good and that In-ter-net had not lied about good cheap wine and so they did rejoice and sent notice to others of their tribe to come to Por-os and join them in celebration. And others of their tribe came, even unto multitudes. Well, five to be precise.

And the Birvidikites did consult again with In-ter-net, who said "Verily, ye Birvidikites are in deep do-do for the Meltemi wind business will come down to the land of the Atheniites like the wolf on the fold, even unto eighteen days solid, which is most unusual for this time of year squire." And so it did come to pass, and the Birvidikites were seriously pissed off.

And just to put the tin hat on it, once the Meltemi wind business did withdraw, a mighty tempest arose, with thunderbolts and a deluge from the skies, and the Birvidikites were sorely afraid and cried out to In-ter-net saying "What the bloody hell's all this? You didn't mention anything about being smitten by thunderbolts." And In-ter-net said "Oh didn't I? - Sorry about that, I've been a bit busy recently. Won't happen again."

And Chris of their tribe, who was hiding in the forepeak, said "Sod this for a game of soldiers. I'm off back to the Land of Obscure, Dodgy Financial Products, which is known as Jer-sey". But he was sorely delayed because all the Atheniites were on smite.

And lo! the meltemi wind business came back again, yea even unto the eighth degree on the scale that is known as Bo - For and the Birvidikites did wail and gnash their teeth crying "Will we ever be delivered to the promised land that is known as Crete?"

"Buggered if I know" said In-ter-net.