Standing on the dock with my toes off the edge, it is not lost on me that the next step can be deep and cold. Nevertheless, with excitement and fear, I intend to take it. It's odd, though, how the retirement I've been contemplating and even planning for years, now feels so scary.

My first order of business on getting into work this past monday was to confirm with my boss that I do indeed plan on April first being my last day in the office. He's known about this for some time, although I had held back on formally setting the date, so this was not a tense conversation. With Johan's consent safely to leeward, I went upstairs to talk to HR. Suzy is a petite Asian woman. Sticking my head over her cubicle wall, I asked if she had a minute to talk about retirement. While Suzy quickly reserved a conference room, I also invited Micki, her boss. Typifying Micki's appearance, I'd have to choose a PTA mom for comparison.

I suspect that most of you reading this blog are doing so out of familial duty, but for those of you who have begun to rue your mistake in clicking on whatever damned link brought you here and don't actually know me, I'm no small guy. I think I've broken her of it, but big sister Kathee used to embarrass me by calling me Roy Boy in public, lovingly harking back to when I was a cute, shy, and (I guess) sweet little toe head. Well, that little kid must still be in there somewhere, because all 6 foot 2 inches of this 275 pound, virtually bald 59 year old was nervous as heck being in an enclosed space with these two, really nice and friendly women.

Oddly short of breath, the conversation must have started out something like (quick breath), "I've talked with Johan (pant) and I'm planning to (bigger pant) retire on April first." I don't actually remember any particular thing I said, but after initial surprise, they were happy for me and willingly answered my questions, promising to send me some info on policy and to set up an exit interview. The ball had started rolling.

My typical reply when asked of my plans is to measure out the coming few years in vague one year chunks, ...Puget Sound, the Salish Sea and Vancouver Island...down the West Coast...Mexico...Central America...Galapagos...the Marquesas...and who knows after that. Fact is, to contemplate the future in any more detail would be truly frightening. The list of things to do and knowledge to develop is beyond even listing. I have to take it one step at a time and rely on the knowledge and the boat I have to take me way point by way point on this voyage.

The questions that cause the most pause are, "What are you doing about health insurance?" and "Are you doing this alone?" I don't really know where even to begin on answering the first one. I'm 59-1/2, so Medicare doesn't kick in for 4-1/2 years, ...right? There you go. I'm sunk in ignorance already. I feel a lot of web surfing in my future.

As for doing this cruising thing on my own, although I look forward to the challenge of single-handing for the short local sails, I gladly anticipate having the frequent company of friends and family for the longer transits. With judicious planning and cautious departures based on good weather forecasts, I can do quite a bit all by myself. During the two months in '09 between getting laid off by Elliot Bay Design Group and starting work at Jensen Maritime Consultants, I spent quite a bit of time sailing solo. It was quite possibly the best summer I've spent since I was a kid in Southern California bumping around in my friends' boats at Catalina Island.

Closing this ramble on an up note, I really do look forward to renewing old friendships, strengthening bonds with family, and getting to know new people by enlisting you all as crew. Please drop me a line if you're interested and let me know about time slots. With set plans probably not even beginning to gel more than six months in advance, we'll have to be flexible about this. Oh, and if you happen to know any lovely, smart, independently minded and sexy women that are interested in the position of first mate, be sure to let me know.

It's not a sailing analogy, but I hope I'm not like that kid out catching snowflakes. Don't be a pigeon. Ply me with encouragement and positive feedback.