So, Mary's cute, with short brown hair, a round, smiling face, and an athletic build. No doubt about it, these characteristics were what first caught my attention when she was introduced to me, but she also glowed with friendly confidence. When I learned she was a firefighter and a experienced paramedic, that immediately made her a prime candidate for crew. While we chatted about our experiences, selling each other as prospective captain and crew, me pitching my boat as a seaworthy craft and she, with limited experience, mostly her enthusiasm. One thing she made sure to tell me right up front was that she was happily married.

Everyone that knows me probably also knows that I'm constantly looking for interview candidates for permanent first mate on Mabrouka. I try to be very casual and unassuming about that and Mary looked too young for me anyway, but it was good that she'd put me on notice of her status to take that out off the interview agenda. No matter, ...I was looking for CREW.

Continuing the sales pitch, I invited her and a couple of other potential crew down to Mabrouka for a tour. She was duly impressed and expressed a strong interest in joining me in San Diego. One thing led to another and we agreed she'd join Dave and I for the San Diego to Cabo San Lucas run.

Somewhere along the way we were chatting on the phone about flight plans, what she needed to bring, etc. When it came to her arrival date in San Diego, she kept referring her need to work around her spouse's work and travel plans. At one point I commented that Mary's frequent referral to this person as her spouse sounded awfully formal to me and asked if said spouse had a name. To paraphrase, "Yes," she said. "Jennifer."

I recovered pretty quickly from my surprise. I might even go so far as to say that I masked it completely, but fact is that the thoughts that played in the background for the rest of the conversation have been of continuing interest to me. To summarize, I'm a traditionally raised sort of fellow and a committed heterosexual. That being said, I appreciate people for their humanity not their sexuality and don't see why anyone has to be labeled for their private activities.

Sometime early in our sail I asked Mary about her use of the term spouse when referring to her longtime life partner, Jen. Her answer was playful and had something to do with the entertainment she derived from the reactions she observed when people learned that she was gay. I liked that. Mary's not afraid to talk about this aspect of her life, but is also respectful that some people react negatively to it.

As interesting as this discussion is to me, it makes more than I want to of aspects of Mary's life that have nothing to do with her time on Mabrouka. Infinitely more pertinent is her unflagging good cheer and an almost rambunctious eagerness to pitch in and do more than her part to keep Mabrouka moving along in a positive direction. She indulged my tendency to be lazy in the galley, taking up cooking duties more than fair-mindedness would have allowed. She was always offering to reach things for us out of the cooler, ...often that was a celebratory afternoon beer. There was never a shortage of hands to rig sails or adjust lines when she was on deck and rarely if she was down below.

Another thing that made her particularly welcome on board was the passion she shared with Dave for surfing. Not only had she enjoyed the sport since she was a teenager, she'd been an instructor and a professional. Dave has never done either, but grew up surfing from a similar age and continued it through most of his 60 years.