Celebration of Life
01 March 2013 | Jost Van Dyke, BVI
Heidi
We had a heartfelt trip with my Bro Vern and Sister Sarah in the British Virgins. It included several fabulous sails to Norman Island and Jost Van Dyke, then off to Peter Island, then the Indians...and finally to Pennsylvania by air. It started and ended in joy with lots of tears in between.
Vern has always had a passion for sailing, so first on the agenda was tacking through the Narrows off Soper's Hole, Tortola, with invigorating winds. Half of the fun is the journey on Centime, past pristine green islands with gorgeous white sandy beaches, strong winds blowing your hair. The other half is landing in a quite peaceful anchorage to watch the sunset, enjoy a meal, a drink and the wonderful company, and reflect on the day as the sun sets.
The next morning in peaceful Benures Bay at Norman Island, it was hard to decide if we should leave or stay, yet the wind was beckoning and off we sailed toward a small British Cay - Great Tobago. It started as the most perfect sail, wind off the starboard quarter, shifting to a run through the Narrows, when we received the news of our Mother's passing. Dennis took the helm as we were all in a bit of shock, although at nearly 94 years old, we knew that her days on Earth were numbered.
It was an interesting time, connecting with my brother and sister at sea, writing a eulogy in the cockpit, sitting back and reflecting on life. I delivered that eulogy a week later with Dennis and Nico by my side, Vern and Sarah, and his kids Amy and Adam nearby. I was particularly grateful that I had visited her just two weeks earlier and had been able to spend some good time talking with her while she was able. I was also able to help her with a phone conversation with her grandson Nico who was in college in Montreal, and to remind her that she was a good grandmother, good mother and that she was loved.
Yet before the trip to Pennsylvania, on that peaceful sail in the British Islands, we were told that all was proceeding fine without us, in the capable hands of Amy and Adam and close friends. Vern and Sarah do not have many vacations and everyone in PA encouraged us to enjoy the full week as best we could. We diverted to Tortola to arrange flights and then sailed to Jost as the seas continued to build from the north.
Jost Van Dyke has an interesting land formation that opens up to the Atlantic. When seas build from the north they travel through a narrow passage, towering high as they reach land, and then crashing into a pool appropriately called - the Bubbly Pool. We hiked about a half of a mile over rock formations with lovely vistas, through mangroves and past a salt pond. Once we arrived we waded out to our chests only to get "Bubbled" as the foam and current, stronger than any Jacuzzi you might imagine, carried us back to shore. I screamed with joy and tried again, and again, and again. In retrospect it was an amazing way to relieve some of the grief and tension that had built for a few days, and to connect with my brother who is simply amazing.
On our final full day in the British Virgins we sailed into Roadtown, Tortola and had a delicious dinner at one of our very favorite restaurants - The Dove. The chef here is phenomenal starting with his amuse-bouche, a surprise appetizer of pork meatball with watermelon carpaccio and a delicious sauce, through to my duck, prepared to perfection and artistically plated. We opened some fine wine and toasted to our Mom who had made it all possible.
A few days later we flew into the cold and celebrated my Mom's life. Nico flew into New York as well and we met him for the drive to PA. The funeral went as well as could be expected, I read my eulogy and we all said our tearful goodbyes. My cousin Kay and husband Jeff, whom I hadn't seen for over a dozen years, surprised us at the internment. It was with more tears that we laid her in the ground, next to my wonderful Father, Grandfather Hendricks and very special Grandmother Katie.
Back at Vern and Sarah's home we prepared a yummy dinner and let the wine flow. Soon we were laughing about childhood memories, playing old tunes and then we started to dance - all of us - young and old. I was so very pleased that Nico could join us for this important time. Best of all was moving from the kitchen to the living room at Vern's home, the tunes cranked, the wine flowing and all of us dancing, with sorrow and laughter bubbling from each and every pore. I am grateful for family. Thank you Mom for making it all possible.