22 February 2013 | Tutukaka. NZ
Photo: Ponder the blue ocean...
Invariably, it all comes down to fate in the end. It's another of life's crossroads time for Marie and I and we're faced with more tough and complex decisions. Marie is back in the UK sorting a few things out and I'm back aboard
Sänna in Tutukaka working on the boat, planning to move to Riverside Boat Yard in Whangarei where I can get some internal refitting and paintwork done. Marie will come out in a few weeks time but for now she would prefer to spend her time with Henry in his new school. I figure that my time working in the boatyard will fix my head.
The weather here in New Zealand is perfect. Warm, sunny days and no rain. Nice days to make decisions and gather our thoughts. Where to go? What to do? Do we bring our time sailing
Sänna to a close or do we keep going? Do we try and step back into the real world and transform ourselves back from the sea gypsies and adventurers we've morphed into? If we do, what do we do? Or, if we continue the dream, where do we head? We can cross the Pacific eastwards, another big task, or we can head north to the Pacific Islands. It would also be easy to cross back to Darwin and then across the Indian Ocean, heading back 'home'. Even sell
Sänna for a nice profit in Australia, a buoyant boat market right now.
Each evening I take myself off for a walk in the warm sunshine to Tutukaka Heads, the cliffs that overlook the blue Pacific. I've found a magical place to sit and think whilst staring out over the Blue Ocean. With the sun setting behind in the west, throwing amazing colours over the sea, I sit on my bench under my tree. Pondering and thinking.
It's been a hard time whilst we've been back in the UK. I know now that I somehow burned myself out because this sea life isn't easy. The stresses and hardships of sailing a small boat through the endurance stuff we've been through, staying alive and trying to live on the edge... I also know that stepping back into the real world is maybe not even possible. I've learned that too. Nowadays my mind can't adapt to mundane everyday living. I've lost the skill, the desire to go back into a life and society we left behind a good while ago. It's been hard to realise I have little in common with old friends. And family too, damn it! Adapt? Change back? Back to appalling business ethics and commercial reality? The world of banks and bankers, their poor standards of morality. Mind numbing TV...
I go up and sit on my bench, under my 'Thinking Tree'. I can work it all out...
Tahiti...
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