Photo: Hull cleaning team and fearless shark hunters.

This blog discusses man's primeval fear of sharks. To be more precise... my fear of sharks. Well, one shark in particular. I'll tell you about my fear of being hunted...

This particular story begins after we arrived in Honokohau Boat Harbour on the big island of Hawaii. We tied up and went to pay our dues in the harbour office. Just as we were leaving the Harbourmaster warned us, "There's a very big tiger shark comes into the outer harbour. You gotta be careful."

A few days later Marie left to travel out with Henry and I was left alone. He was joining us for the long duration of his school holidays. After Marie left I frequented the harbour bar late each afternoon for a cool beer along with the crews of the fishing boats. We talked of big marlin and barracuda and I eagerly joined in as best I could, never mentioning my own meagre catch of the odd tuna or two. As a Brit I knew I was fair game.

I'd take my place in the row at the bar with my beer, listening to talk of boats being spiked by huge marlin, guys pulled overboard with their rods never to be seen again and mysterious tales of hard and rough women who could out fish any boat before disappearing into strange mist banks. I listened and laughed, eager to be accepted. The conversations invariably turned to the big Tiger in the harbour... voices dropped into hushed tones and those who knew would nod their heads before falling silent. In the corner sat the old timer, ancient and bearded with fear in his eyes who suddenly wailed... "I saw a thousand men in the water when the Japs sunk the Indianapolis back in 45. Sharks got em all..." I recognised him as the same old sea salt in the movie Perfect Storm, who, at the bar, warned "The Flemish Cap? Went there once in 62..."

I needed to clean Sänna's keel and check the prop shaft before we headed north to Maui. I'd planned to scuba under the boat, something I'd done many times before. John, on the big Sunseeker moored alongside said, "Maybe you'll be ok, just don't thrash around too much and learn to play dead." He thought some more and said, "Most folk in this harbour know their fish and stay clear. He's a big son of a bitch, comes in to eat the Turtles," John clearly knew his stuff, "Hope you Brits are tough cookies."

Maybe you can think about this? Would you go into the water? In the morning I needed to don my scuba gear and go under the boat to do the work. I sat on Sänna's bows in the warmth of the evening sunshine, drinking cool beer from my fridge and thinking about this an awful lot. I stared ahead into the harbour water knowing there was a big shark in there somewhere. This particular shark had never harmed anyone and had been here a good while. I, on the other hand, had been here for precisely two weeks, had before faced big storms and taken immense risks getting here. Thinking back, I'd also taken huge business risks and done stupid things in my life without thinking of the consequence. I considered myself brave.

Where, now, was my fear coming from? The harbourmaster and the guys drinking beer in the bar had told me to be careful. John had told me to play dead. The old timer, with his dire warning, is a figment of my imagination, inserted into this story to build the effect of fear with a touch of humour. They did the same when making the movie. I had to decide whether to disregard everyone's warnings, ignore countless shark attack stories told over eons of time or submit to a primeval fear that resides somewhere deep inside me and in just about every other brave soul too. What I needed was expert advice...

I turned to the old timer. He was startled and nearly fell from his stool in the dark corner of the bar. "Well, young fella, that's the first time anyone's ever asked me that question." He pulled his beard thoughtfully and scratched his brow, "In fact, you're the first son of a bitch who's ever spoken to me if I think about it." His eyes warmed with dreamlike affection, "Since I got all old and wrinkly I only get to appear in stories like yours and the odd movie or two." He laughed quietly, "I think it's my grey beard and wild eyes that gets me the part."

When I told him about my fear of the tiger shark and need to dive the boat he paused to think, putting down his nearly empty glass on the bar. I could see he was deep in thought. A good while after he said, "I've thought about this a good deal young fella," I smiled eagerly, I liked the 'young' bit, "But first I gotta tell ya I'm only a fictional character so ya gotta take whatever I say with a pinch of salt," I agreed and poured us both another beer...

"I've seen a lotta things in my time but I only ever get to say one liners," the old timer was clearly emotional, "What you're asking needs a godammed smart ass speech and I sure appreciate that handsome fella," I beamed a smile at that one. We were becoming great friends. "The way I see it ya gotta dive the boat. No way round it boy," my smile froze, "If ya don't then these white ass toads in this bar are forever gonna talk about the Brit who was yellow. That they'd scared you plenty." He had a point, I drank my beer. "But then you've gotta a good wife and a Ma somewhere who probably still luvs ya, so ya gotta think about that too I reckon." I asked him about the Indianoplis back in 45...

"Well, as I said before, ya gotta take some stuff I say with a pinch of salt. The sharks never kill't all of em," he said. I offered it was probably me who'd added that bit in for effect. "Nope, I always say it that way," he replied. "Look, if that danky shark gets ya I can tell everybody ya was a brave young soul who wouldn'a play dead for nobody." I reminded him that I did indeed have a wife and a Ma. "Then don't do it sunny boy. Think o ya kids too." He looked me straight in the eye, "And mine's a whiskey," putting another empty glass down on the bar. I told him he was only a figment of my imagination and to go easy...

I didn't dive the boat. I figured it was a dumb idea. I never saw the tiger shark either and the turtles are thriving, swimming around Sänna all the time. Henry joined us and together we cleaned most of the hull with a long brush from the dinghy. We both fell in the water. I heard the old timer cackling loud. We all had a magical time.
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