Photo: Sänna berthed in Ala Wai Harbour, Honolulu.

"We cannot give you a slip in the small boat harbour until you have undergone a survey to verify that you are a seaworthy vessel,"
"Wha' dyer me'n leik?"
"Pardon M'am?"
"What do you mean?
"It is US regulations M'am, we have to check your boat to make sure it is not a derelict vessel that you intend to abandon here in the boat harbour,"
"What?"
"I will arrange for you to tie up to the waiting pontoon to await your survey,"
"Yee hev got te be funnin. Wi hev saeled aal th'way fro' New Zealand man,"
"Pardon M'am?"
"But we've just sailed from New Zealand,"
"I appreciate that M'am but we need to ensure your vessel is capable of going to sea,"
"Yee kiddin man, wha waad yee wan' te dee tha?
"Pardon M'am? I thought you said you were English?"
"Ahm a canny Geordie lass, bu' nivver mind. Surely if we've sailed from New Zealand then we must be seaworthy?"
"It is just regulations M'am. We will also need you to take your boat and motor around the red buoy outside the harbour entrance. We will watch you from the office. Our surveyor will be here when you come back,"
"Wha? Gan canny o' we'll dunsh summick?"
"Pardon M'am?"
"Why?"
"So that we can satisfy ourselves that your engine is in good order and your vessel will stay afloat,"
"Jeeze! Ar' ye bein' serious man. Wi ornly wanna sta' a few neets leik,"
"I am very sorry M'am but I do not understand your language,"
"I said we only want to stay a few nights,"
"It is harbour regulations M'am,"
"Ah divvant beleev it, yee jawin a heep o' blather man,"
"Your vessel name M'am?"
"Fat Annie,"
"No, I need your vessel name M'am,"
"That is the vessel name,"
"Oh! Sorry M'am,"
"Eeeh Man, ahm gannin te th' booza fer me wine an' a blaa oot Robert,"
"Pardon M'am?"
"I said to my husband we're happy to assist you,"
"Thank you very much M'am."

Jill Watson
Fat Annie
Honolulu, Hawaii.

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