Hello. I don't know who you are but me, I'm called Nellie. That's what they call me anyway. They used to call me Nelson but I went five times to see that funny lady wearing the white coat, now they all call me Nellie. I think I'm supposed to be the ship's cat.

Well I don't wanna be the ship's cat. The ship's too small and it stinks, it stinks all the time of them and sometimes I don't even know what's happening. The floor of this ship moves around too much and I slide around hitting things I'd really prefer to stay away from, like the table leg and other stupid things like that. Yesterday I tried to jump from the couch, then the ship moved the other way and I fell in a heap on the floor.

If you're a cat and reading this then you seriously don't want to be the ship's cat. Let me tell you why you don't want to be the ship's cat...

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Read more about the mishaps and mayhem of Nellie, The Ship's Cat