Lady boys as far as the eye can see!
29 January 2010 | Patong, Phuket, Thailand
Well, we finally bit the 'ping pong' so to speak and ventured into Patong to view our very first ping pong show! There is a seedier side to Thailand that we had yet to experience and after a couple of conversations we decided that we really couldn't leave without seeing it. Partners in crime were recruited on Australia Day and a few days later 8 of us were on our way to Patong.
Normally Jay and I get around on a motorbike, they're cheap to hire and easy to manoeuvre through the traffic which is crazy most of the time but due to the fact that we were sure to have a couple of drinks and the lateness of the hour I was sure we would be coming home we opted to catch a local taxi or tuk-tuk. I really think that they must get sick of all the yachties, we are tight with our money (we need it to last for a long time!) and argue constantly over the prices whereas the majority of the Europeans here for their 2 week holiday will pay anything and think it's cheap. And it is but its all relative and after living in this part of the world for a while you realise that most of the time you are paying too much. The tuk-tuks wanted too much money and would rather sit there all night waiting for someone to pay that amount than take a couple of trips at a slightly lower rate and make more money in the end! We ended up in a 'real' car, we haven't been in a car for a long time, it felt weird. When I say 'real' car, it had a similar look to a WRX but we couldn't see any tags on it to see what it was and our driver didn't have much English, the windows were so darkly tinted that although it was dusk and light out it was pitch black inside, his dashboard was a multitude of flashing lights, some with purpose, some without and if you had told me we were in the cockpit of a plane I wouldn't have been surprised. The stereo was loud and we could feel the vibration of the speakers in our chests, the exterior featured racing stripes, spoilers and all the bits and pieces and it rode so low that every time we hit a small bump in the road we bottomed out, might have had something to do with all of us fat farangs in the car but it made for a slow trip. The car might have looked like a racy bit of gear but it had trouble getting up the hills, we had a few 'I think I can' moments.
We finally made it to Patong though and soon merged into the groups of tourists walking the streets, we had thought that Patong was busy during the day but that was nothing compared to at night. Hawkers yelling from shops as you walk by, restaurants shoving their menus in your face and men carrying various animals around for you to pose for a photo with for 100 Baht. One in particular was a white faced monkey, a dusky langur, he was being held by a young white boy and looked really sad. He clutched the boys arm and kept his eyes downcast, these are very shy animals and the terror it must have been feeling in amongst that crowd with people reaching out to touch it, being passed from person to person would have been immeasurable.
After stopping for some dinner we continued our journey towards Bangla Road which is closed off every night to accommodate all the weird and wonderful people that come out after dark and the westerners that come to watch. Wandering through the crowd I felt something heavy latch on to my back and start crawling, sharp claws scratching at my bare shoulders, I turned my head and came face to face with a huge green iguana. One of the hawkers had put it on my back as I walked by hoping that I would pay to have a photo taken with it. Standing stock still I grabbed at Jay who told the guy off, the iguana was quickly removed and he vanished into the crowd to find another victim.
Dozens of people approached to go and see one of their 'free' ping pong shows, we resisted for a while happy just to stroll around people watching but eventually we bit the bullet and allowed ourselves to be led into the den of sin! We walked into a dark room filled with white people and the occasional Japanese businessman. Girls danced on stage in white bikinis, tops pushed aside to reveal young, pert breasts. They looked bored. The song finished and they moved along the stage to the next pole to gyrate in time to the music while looking at themselves in the mirror, in the middle of the tiny stage was a bath but we're not sure what it was for as they didn't use it at all during the show. Before the show began we were obligated to buy a beer, the show was free but the first beer cost 500 Baht and any beers after that went back closer to the normal price, so much for the 'free' show. It was actually amusing watching all the people in the room, there was an almost equal amount of women and men, there to see the show so they could say they had seen it and to leave as quickly as possible, much like us.
The show started, an older lady came on stage and proceeded to pull numerous things from her private parts, not all at the same time but leaving the stage at different intervals to come back and reveal another surprise! Among these were an incredible length of string, wool with numerous knitting needles attached (we were wondering what the knitting show was!), live fish, live birds and the grand finale, ping pongs! With the show over we escaped quickly back into the street, it was time to see some lady boys!
We found ourselves a bar on a second level overlooking the side street which featured a small circular stage at the entrance where the lady boys danced. Our bar had female dancers (fully clothed) and they were lovely, on their break some of them sat with us and pointed out which ones below were lady boys, which had real breasts, which ones had had operations to make them female and which ones still had the tackle in place. The lady boys were amazing, known as kathoey they are considered the third gender in Thailand and are men that are raised as women, there is no stigma attached to them and they are accepted as a normal part of life here. While some are quite obviously men others are absolutely beautiful with legs that any western woman would kill for. They play up to the crowd, wearing skimpy outfits and generally having fun. The most interesting part though was watching the western men reacting to them, a lot of the young guys walking past had no idea that these were men and I saw a couple asking for phone numbers. If they made that call they were in for a mighty surprise but the kathoey do not hide what they are, it is a part of their appeal and their meal ticket. They are great fun and while I would not do a ping pong show again I would definitely go and see the lady boys again. We hope to be able to get tickets to one of the cabarets here before we leave, some of them are quite famous and according to some American's comparable to anything you'd see in Vegas except it's more amazing because they are all men! It was a great night out and we eventually headed back to the boat at 3am.