This week we have been into York and Leeds with the adults. We went to York on a nice sunny day. We had to go in to fetch all the things mom had bid on at auction- nudist artwork, tea caddies and a clock. Mom has hung the pictures over her bed and each morning when she gets out of bed she sighs and imagines herself looking like the lady in the picture. We hate to disillusion her, but she has a few more curves and her boobs are definitely not as pert as those of the model.
York was lovely. We started with a cup of tea in ‘The House of the Trembling Madness’. Mom was disappointed that it was only half past ten and too early for a glass of their super strong Porter. We got treated to biscuits before we wandered round the market. The man on the rucksack stall was from Ayvalik in Turkey and he was surprised to hear that Mom and Dad had been there. He got out his phone and showed us all pictures of where we should go next time. He didn’t seem to mind when Patch cocked his leg up one of his handbags. The man on the Rieker shoe stall lived in York and was right miserable! He tried to get away with charging double for the shoes and then offering a discount. Mom was really annoyed, as she had spent 15 minutes writing down local walks for him, as he loves the village we live in! Next stop was a Greek cafe for Dad to get a Greek coffee. The man is from Corfu and can’t wait to go back next month for a holiday. He liked us, and gave us almond biscuits, which Dad scoffed, saying they were too nice for dogs! Mom and Dad were both horrified by how many homeless people there were on the streets. People just walk by without even acknowledging them but Mom can’t help but chat to them all, especially if they have a dog. We didn’t like her chatting to the man with a staffie as it was jumping up our mom and giving lots of hugs and wet kisses. There was one poor lady who was desperate to top her money up to get a shelter for the night. Mom and Dad managed to find enough change between them to top it up, and off she wandered to the hostel. Mom is such a big softie that she cries when she thinks that Tinker started off life living wild in the the woods. She says we are pampered pooches and wouldn’t last a day in the wild. She is probably right! We rounded off our morning with lunch in an Algerian restaurant, it was the only quiet restaurant that they found which would allow us in. We sat quietly under the table on Dad’s coat. To be honest spinach, feta and pine-nut rolls drizzled in honey does nothing for our bowels, so we both had a little nap. The posh people at the next table made a comment when we got up to leave about dogs being allowed in the restaurant. Mom smiled sweetly and asked if we had been any trouble. Obviously, they had to report back that we had been little angels and they hadn’t known we had been there. Aren’t humans funny? They complain about things they aren’t even aware of then ignore issues like homeless people, who they cant help but notice and could do something about?

The next day we went to Leeds. Mom and Dad had to take a cushion back from their new sofa. The man had the new one ready and waiting and let us leave the car on his car park to save us the car park fees. We walked along the canal and found a lovely little cafe for a cup of tea, before having a look round the city. It was great and reminded us of Birmingham. Kirkgate market didn’t allow us in, but Mom went and had a wander round. It’s the biggest indoor market in Europe. She came back with armfuls of flowers and houseplants, and can’t wait to go again, but without us! Mom said there was an African hairdresser in the middle of the market, where women were sitting and chatting and having hair pieces fitted. There was food from different countries and she said it smelt amazing. There are lots of Victorian covered shopping arcades in Leeds with very exclusive shops. We really don’t understand humans. We were allowed in the shops but not in the arcades so had to be carried in the arcade from shop door to shop door, but then allowed down in the shops themselves. There were lots of very poor people on the city and we saw a huge row break out between two women, who looked like they were drunk. There was a lot of hair pulling and rude words flying around. Mom covered our ears so we didn’t hear them all. We wandered back to the little cafe where we had started for a cup of tea before heading home, when a lovely couple came in. They liked us, and got down on the floor to play with us. The man particularly liked Bertie and Dad said, “you can have him for £2.50”. The man said, “deal done”. Bertie didn’t mind though. It was only Ralph Little from ‘Death in Paradise’. We could have been living in the Caribbean half the year, where they have goat curry. Anyway, he was a lovely man and made us feel very special. Mom spent the whole time thinking, “his face is familiar, where do I know him from”? Thank goodness that Dad didn’t tell her until we were outside, otherwise she would have made us have our photo taken with him.

Today, we have had a lovely walk along the beck and into Farndale. In another month you won’t be able to walk there for the tourists who flock to see the daffodils. We stopped at the cafe, where there was a sweet smell in the air. Their dog was in season and so we went mental! We couldn’t stop our hormones, especially as she came tarting round us asking for sex. Who can resist, when she put her bum in our faces! Mom and Dad had to hold us back. The lady came to rescue her and said she was meeting a dog tomorrow to make babies. Her husband, who had been busy serving tea, looked rather sheepish and said it might be a bit too late. Apparently the sheep dog from the farm had already had his wicked way that morning. I wonder why humans don’t have the same hormonal responses as we do when we get that scent. Perhaps they do, and it is just we live with mom and Dad who are knocking on a bit!