For those of you who know me, you know I am not patient…ever, for any reason, in any situation. For most of my life, things need to happen NOW…I want it done NOW, I want answers NOW, I want you to respond to me NOW…because I am “Type A” from the Northeast…that’s how some of us roll and that’s what I do, so I expect that in return.

I also recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I feel like I know mine pretty well and I don’t try to pretend, especially on a boat, where pretending can cause harm, injury or death. No one is good at all things, that is what makes us human and gives each of us our own unique personality. If we were all good at the same things, we could either never move forward or we would be completely bored with other people, neither of which seem a good option to me. I am good at “soft” skills…writing, reading, history, cleaning, organizing, details for events, etc. I am not good at “hard” skills…math, mechanics, physics, science, cooking, or fixing things. In fact, when I was in college, as a dance major and then minor, those pointe shoes would arrive in the mail and my roommate sewed the ribbons on for me…I am not good at sewing!

I am not afraid to admit that I am not good at something, or that I don’t understand something. And I, most of the time, don’t “understand sailing”. I love it, but I don’t “get it”. I don’t get the wind direction, the points of sail, how to know with certainty when to tack and when to jibe…but I am trying, I am trying to get it, it’s just not something that comes easy to me with the way my brain works. I took the ASA Basic Keelboat Course, intense and good for me to do, but came home frustrated not invigorated. So, there is the constant question, am I ever going to get it, when does that “you’ll feel the wind and know what to do” happen? How long does that take? Remember…no patience…

I don’t know how to tie all the knots and if I don’t practice every damn day, it’s gone. I don’t know what every little thing is called on the boat; I don’t know how to hoist AK up in that Bosun chair without Barry to help and direct me; but I can tell you why it’s called that! Our living room is full of boxes, which are full of things we need to get Mariah to where we want her, but it’s completely overwhelming. The grill, fenders, a box of “stuff” I don’t even know what that stuff is, a wind generator, and the pole to attach it to, inverter, solar panels. We have boxes that have not been opened, and more on the way. How are we going to get this all on to the boat and how are we going to get everything installed and up and running? How are we supposed to do this, just the two of us? And how long is it going to take?

I just read Jeff Hartjoy’s book, in one sitting, about his solo sail around Cape Horn, and it’s an amazing story, journey, and adventure, but not one I ever want to do. It’s treacherous, dangerous and flipping cold…I moved to Florida for a reason! But his story is inspiring…and his next plan is to circumnavigate the world, ALONE…wow! I know I will never be where Jeff is, as a sailor, and I am okay with that, but I would like to be a good First Mate, I would like nothing better than knowledge, mechanics, physics and math to somehow seep into my brain, but the reality is that it’s not going to happen, I can’t change my brain.

So, here comes the battle between frustration and patience. This sailing thing it grabs you, and almost catches you off guard, and is slowly teaching me to be calmer, more patient, and as AK says, teaching me to BREATHE. When you get out there on the water and you raise those sails, and you’re sailing, and it’s complete peace, YES it’s worth it. There is no comparison to that feeling. That is complete freedom and you don’t want it to ever end.

So with the wise words of one of my favorite people’s Dad in my mind all the time, “Breathe in Peace, Breathe out Anxiety”…we move forward with
life and with Mariah…

~Sail, Your Future Will Thank You
LoLo & AK
SV Mariah