Below is a mostly true account of our check-in process at Christmas Island. To be fair, the people were very nice there, and very considerate. However, their check in process left much room for improvement. An now our story...

After an arduous trip across the sea our knights now face a new challenge as they set out upon the land...

Sir Sean: Brethren! Before us lay a great land. We must announce ourselves to these good people. Sir Tim: Shall I retrieve our entrusted documents from the jar of Milk and Honey? Sir Stan: Shall I adorn myself with the last of my finest linens? Sir Sean: Yes, let us do as you say and let the good people know that we are good knights that are on a noble quest.

Now on shore, they searched out for a place to announce themselves. They found the building marked Immigration and walked through the door.

Sir Sean: Good people! We are noble knights that have traveled far and wide to your great land and - Immigration Officer: You're on a yacht? Sir Sean: It is as you say good sir.. Immigration Officer: Why didn't you call us on the radio? Sir Sear: Kind Sir, we are unfamiliar with your customs. Please forgive our ignorance. Immigration Officer: How did you know to come here? Sir Sean: Kind Sir, we saw a beacon from the sea and it lead us to this great place. Sir Tim: Shall I show them our entrusted documents? Sir Sean: Why yes! Sir Tim has our entrusted documents showing that our intentions are indeed noble. Immigration Officer: [looks at documents and smiles sarcastically.] We will only admit you if you do these 3 - no 4! - tasks. Sir Sean: Give us these challenges fine sir, we are not afraid. We will show you through our actions that we are on a noble quest. Immigration Officer: First, you must go to the Police. Sir Sean: But sir, there is no need to see the Magistrate; we are only travelers on a quest... Immigration Officer: [frustrated] First, you must go to the Police. Sir Sean: It will be as you say. But if you will be so kind, please point the way. [The immigration officer points to a great path] Sir Stan: How far is it away? Sir Sean: Yes! Kind sir. We are without transportation and only have our feet to carry us. Is the journey far? Immigration Officer: Not far, follow path.

And so the three knights began their trek to the Police station in the hot boiling sun. They found a large shack with 10, or so officers milling about and a brand new Toyota Tacoma with the large word "Police" painted on it.

Sir Sean: Look on thither! We have found it! The location of our first challenge. The knights begin to look for the front door and are soon whisked into the main room and told to sit on a bench. After a brief moment there is a large shuffling as chairs are rearranged. A police officer in a Hawaiian shirt takes Sir Sean into a separate room and thus separates him from his fellow knights. Sir Sean is given the chair of honor and the police officer takes the 3 plastic chairs stacked on one another that form one working chair. Sir Sean checks for one-way mirror and to see if there's any blood on the floor. Both are missing and he begins to relax.

Sir Sean: Sir! I assure you we have committed no crime against you. We are on a quest! We have come over many miles and fought - Police Officer: You're on a yacht? Sir Sean: It is as you say sir. We were sent by the one from Immigration. He tells us to seek your council. Police Officer: Fill out this form. Sir Sean: As you wish!

After filling out the form, the Police smile warmly and send us back to Immigration on the path of "Not Far." Back at Immigration... Sir Sean: Sir! We have been to the Magistrate and have accomplished our task. Immigration Officer: You went to the police? Sir Sean: It is as you say sir. Immigration Officer: You fill out a form there? Sir Sean: It is as you say sir. Immigration Officer: You have the form? [Sir Sean and his fellow knights look at each other perplexed by this request.] Sir Sean; Kind sir, we understood that the police would keep the form for safe keeping. Immigration Officer: [silence] Okay, who is leaving tomorrow? Sir Timothy: It is I, Sir Timothy who awaits the great eagle to carry me back to my homeland. I have been called - Immigration Officer: You have the ticket? Sir Timothy: Why no, we are without a scribe. We do have the secrete numbers though. Immigration Officer: You have to have the ticket. Sir Sean: Sir, we will gladly acquire the proof that you require if you merely point the way. Immigration Officer: It's that way! [points down the path] Sir Stan: How far is it? Immigration Officer: Not far.