"Hey Dad," Tara said, "Can we go to the Grand Canyon while we're back in the states?"
"Tara..." I replied in a very condescending tone, "We've already been there, like, seven times."
"We have?"
"Yes, don't you remember - at Disneyland?"
Tara had a look of disgust on her face. "Dad, I want to go to the real Grand Canyon. The one at Disneyland is just a picture."
"Huh - a lot you know," I told her. "The Grand Canyon is a lot better at Disneyland. You get to go back in time and see the dinosaurs and everything. You don't get to do that at the "real" Grand Canyon..."
"Dad!" Tara protested. "You promised when we started this whole trip that you would take us to the Grand Canyon; the REAL Grand Canyon. You PROMISED!"

I knew I was beat. I flashed backed in my mind several months prior to the promise. I was promising a lot of things to get everyone to go on this trip. I was just hoping at the time that no one would remember. I agreed quickly in hopes that she wouldn't remember anything else I had promised: computers, Paris France, no schoolwork...

"Ok," I said, "If it's not too far, we'll go." I figured that after an 8 hour ride in a bus to America they'd be tired. Once they knew that the Grand Canyon was another 400 miles north of Tucson, they'd forget about the whole trip and I'd be in the clear.

That night we found a hotel in San Carlos Mexico. The rooms were nice, but the area was covered with huge toads and lots (picture end of the world here) of roaches. The manager assured us that our room had been fumigated earlier in the day. We started to run but then he opened the door to our room and we felt the air conditioner. The manager took his hat off and whacked a roach on the wall. The thought of spending another sleepless night on the boat in 95 degree 85% humidity was no longer an option. We quickly handed him 25 dollars. I only had one roach fall on my head that night, but I didn't care because the room was cool.

Thanks to JF and Marie, the next day we took the Tufesa bus in Guaymas north to America. It was a very comfortable bus and they had American movies. Unfortunately, all the movies showing were bad and to add further injury - in Spanish. After watching a mother try to kill her daughter, teenagers trying to get even with John Tucker, and a stranger calling another teenager, I started to get tense.

We de-boarded the bus at the military check point and at the border. After 6 hours and 4 movies in Spanish we were exhausted. The last movie "Garfield 2" drove me near to my breaking point. I was ready to take over the bus when we pulled over. It was the border patrol to check us one last time. I tried to tell them about the bad movies on the bus, and how it needed to be stopped, but they wouldn't listen.

We spent the night at a Holiday Inn Express near the airport. They said they had a room for us, but after the Taxi left they had a different story. "Uh, yeah... We have a room with two queen beds, but it's a smoking room." We checked it out. I could feel my lungs constricting as we exited the elevator. We choose a single room. It was 11:00 pm as we threw our bags down in the room. Casey immediately shouted, "I'm hungry!"

I was exhausted. I started to balk and explain to Casey that we'd have a nice breakfast when Kathy quickly chimed in, "Me too. Where do you guys want to go?" I knew I was beat (I didn't have the votes) and we'd have to go somewhere. I had seen a Burger King close by and was pretty excited. I hadn't had a burger in months. A Burger King double cheesburger sounded like just the ticket. "How 'bout Burger King guys?!" I said with a tone that you usually use when you go to some place really expensive (like Panda Express).

Casey replied, "Dad. I don't feel like Burger King." What's that supposed to mean: You don't feel like Burger King? Nobody every feels like Burger King; it's just a place you go. "How about Denny's," she suggested.

"Oh! That sounds great," Tara said, "Mom and I can split a salad." Whose kids are these? So after being out of America for 3 months our first meal was at Denny's. It was really good.

The next morning we went to the Priceline website and rented a car at the airport for 14 dollars a day. Casey explicitly gave me instructions NOT to rent anything that looked like a PT Cruiser - which was exactly what they gave me. Man, was she mad. We quickly started making our way to Phoenix. Casey complained that we needed a day to relax by the pool, but if we wanted to see this Grand Canyon place, we had to get going.

We arrived in downtown Phoenix to our 3 star Hyatt hotel. We had successfully used Priceline and got the room for 50 dollars a night. We were on the 16th floor and the girls were in heaven. "Can we order room service?" Tara asked with the phone receiver already in her hand.

"No! Are you crazy? We can't afford that." I said sternly.
"Geeze dad, don't freak out. I was just asking."
"I'm NOT FREAKING OUT."
"Whatever." Tara rolled her eyes at me. I felt my blood pressure rise. Casey had found the TV remote and quickly turned the TV on. Tara walked past me and sat on the bed with Casey. They were both quickly in a hypnotic trance.

I grabbed Casey's computer and turned it on. It was time to check my email. I love email. Casey's computer (We all have to ask permission to use it) booted up and I quickly connected to the hotel's wireless connection. That's when I realized the true evil secret of 3 start hotels: they charge for everything. Internet was 12.95 a day. They also charge for breakfast. Kathy and I quickly decided that 2 star was the better way to go.

Kathy and I found internet access at a restaurant nearby and started to plan the next phase of our trip. Flagstaff seemed to be the next logical choice. We confidently connected to the Priceline URL and entered in the city of Flagstaff.

"What do you think we should try for," Kathy asked, "40 dollars?"
"Sure. This Priceline is great. We'd be hosed without..."
"Uh-oh..."

Kathy had entered in 40 dollars and we found that there were no takers. We tried 45 - nothing. Soon after we realized that we weren't going to get a hotel for less than 150 dollars a night. We decided to just drive there and find a hotel.

At Flagstaff we found that 1 � star hotels were expensive. After checking hotel after hotel Casey was starting to freak out.

"I'm tired Dad! Why can't we just stay here?!" she yelled in protest.
"Because they want 150 bucks a night."
"I..." she said loudly and paused between each word for emphasis, "DON'T... CARE!" The word "Care" echoed inside the car and in my head. I think she almost broke the windows.

Casey knew that "High School Musical 2" was premiering in 45 more minutes. That's the equivalent of Star Wars for girls. The pressure was on.

We found a Holiday Inn Express for 150 a night. We still had 10 minutes. Casey was really excited. I was excited too - I was going to be a hero. We got our room and as I signed the paperwork I asked, "Do you guys get the Disney Channel?"

"No. We're sorry," they replied. "You guys want to see High School Musical, don't you?"
"Yes. My daughter Casey really wanted to see it."
"Yeah, we had some girl bawling in the lobby earlier when she found out we didn't have the Disney Channel."
"It's okay dad," Casey said. I could tell she was really disappointed. She walked slowly to our room with her head down. That night I got her some Taco Bell to ease the pain. Casey really likes Taco Bell.

The next morning we left for the Grand Canyon. After a long and exhausting trip we had arrived. We quickly parked our car on the street. We walked to the trail and there before us was the mighty Canyon. It's beautiful. I stood there staring at it; trying to take it all in. I took a deep breath and was ready to say something profound when I realized that the girls were nowhere around me. I looked a few feet away and Tara and Casey were crouched over a ground squirrel.

"He's sooooo cute," Tara said. She was filming it with her video camera. Casey was on the other side of the squirrel taking pictures. The Grand Canyon had nothing on the common ground squirrel. I held my head down in disgust and slowly walked over to where they were. Kathy was laughing at the irony, "You gotta love it!" she said as she took their picture...