Into each life a little rain must fall
02 May 2011 | Newcastle Island Marine Park
don
It's official......Instead of Monday I'm going to call this Bitchday.!!!!!!!!!
Today is dedicated to taking all the romanticism out of the live aboard experience. I am wet, tired, and extremely cranky! Wet clothes are hanging from every hook, the windows are fogged up, everything is damp and it is 12 degrees Centigrade in the cabin. I am wearing dirty socks and underwear, 2 shirts, a sweater, old jeans that won't do up around the waste('cause I'm getting FAT), and an Indian sweater (to be politically correct should I say Native Canadian sweater?). And I am still cold.
I am lonely for my wife who is staying on shore right now with my daughter Samantha...lucky witch...she should have been here to help!!!! My Bread is mouldy, my windows leak, my batteries are low, and my porta-potty is full!!! I am low on drinking water but that's all right 'cause I will drink rum all day. (this is not humour...I am DEADLY SERIOUS!!!!)
This all started at 4:30 AM...yes AM as in totally dark. Rain was hammering against the housework and windows. Temperature in the cabin was a mere 6 degrees centigrade. The piercing sound of my anchor alarm awakens me from a dead sleep. For those land lubbers out there an explanation is in order.
An anchor alarm is designed to sound off when the depth of water under your boat radically changes meaning you are no longer connected to the ocean floor and are drifting aimlessly about...usually towards a reef or big rock. The alarm is very high pitched and loud and brings instant terror to the hearts of even the bravest souls.
I leaped out of the sack banging my head and scraping my left ear on the overhead beam..... again! Heart pounding, I ripped open the hatchway and stuck head and shoulders out to see how close I had drifted to the rocks and was met with an absolute deluge of rain, soaking me instantly. Looking around I could see that I was in the exact same position that I was in when I went to bed! Nothing had changed!! I crawled up to the bow to check the anchor line and all was well except that the alarm was still going off and in my half awake state I had forgotten to close the hatch. So "all" was not really "well". It is absolutely amazing how much rain can find its way through a 30 by 40 inch hatchway and into the cabin in such a short period of time. I reset the alarm and climbed down into the cabin to find all my bedding soaked, a pool of water on the cabin sole, a newly opened pack of smokes ruined, and the clothes I had been wearing the night before literally dripping.
And the alarm goes off again!!!! I cut the power to the damned thing, after sticking my head out once again just to be sure, and began the not so nice job of cleaning up. Of course the wind came up which made for lots of bouncing around during the cleanup. I have clothing and bedding hanging everywhere. If I ever have the privilege of running into the manufacturer of that alarm..........( oops, I don't want to go to jail for uttering threats.......I'd rather go for murder!!!)
It is now 10:30 am and I just finished my first glass of "breakfast". I have to go out and pump up my dinghy as one valve is leaking and I should bail the thing out as well so I will change into my wet duds and tackle the problem. I might even put up a tarp over the cabin hatch to make life a little more tolerable....or maybe I'll have a second glass of breakfast and say to hell with doing anything else.
I guess the breakfast will have to wait. My propane just ran out causing my pitiful heater to stop working. Now I have to change bottles. That entails moving everything in the bow so I can get at the spare propane bottle, drag it out, move everything back, change into my wet cloths, open the hatch, get wet, close the hatch, change bottles, get wetter, open the hatch, get wetter, bring in the empty bottle, close hatch, move all the stuff in the bow, slide in the empty, move everything back again, strip out of the wet cloths, hang them somewhere, and finally put my dry clothes back on . Why move everything so many times you may ask?????BECAUSE THERE IS NO FRIGGIN ROOM IN A 26 FOOT SAILBOAT!!!!! THAT'S WHY!!!!
And now I have to poop......... did I mentioned earlier that my port-potty is full?? So before I can do my duty I have to change into wet cloths pump up the dinghy and bail it out. Then unhook the potty, load it in the dinghy, start the motor, travel to the dock, find a dumping station or preferably a toilet where I can poop first, then relieve the potty of the odorous remains of many meals, wash out the potty, return to the boat, replace the potty securely, strip out of the wet clothes, hang them up somewhere, and finally put my dry cloths back on.
So I had best post this now before I end up posting something else in my pants. I may return later today with another segment. Or I might run my glass of breakfast into a glass of lunch into a glass of dinner and then I just might have a little nip before I go to bed. In closing I have to stress the fact that although today is "BITCHDAY" I would not change this lifestyle for anything else in the world. I am living the dream!!!!! And now I gotta go.......literally.