One of the things I love the most about sailing is the opportunity to combine physical, mental and emotional learning. When I first learned to sail, I found deep reaches and dead downwind sailing very difficult and, in that way, emotionally uncomfortable and less fun. (For my non-sailing friends that means if you think of the boat as a clock with the wheel/stern at 6, then the wind is coming from somewhere between 5 and 7). I am grateful to Mindy Donnelley’s advice to feel the wind on my body and let that guide my helming instead of compass or instruments. What a huge difference her wisdom made for me in both my skill and enjoyment!

That said, I find sometimes I end up in an oscillation place with waves and can have a difficult time settling the boat. I usually get there, but get frustrated when it happens again and again. Roger will often coach me with the words “try to be quiet on the helm”. This brings me to one of the other things I love about sailing; it forces us to grow as a couple in our ability to communicate better. So, today I confessed that I really don’t find that advice useful and worse yet, it annoys me. Similarly, Roger confessed that he was frustrated by the need to offer the advice time and again. A few moments later, he asked if he could offer a different suggestion and I said yes. He suggested that I loosen my stance and let my lower body move more with the boat. OMG that was it! It was the same when I was learning to roll a kayak, it is all about my hips for me. I finally got over a learning hump and we resolved a mutual point of frustration. Of course, I was inspired to haiku.
Downwind sail with waves
Steady wheel, hips ride the waves
Almost like dancing!

I was rock steady on the course and point of sail, settled the boat quickly after gybes and I got to do a little helm dancing to boot, what a great day!