I am sitting back on the boat doing cleaning. I did go ashore and did buy that little house in a quiet location since my last post. I closed the last week of December. It's a nice quiet little place and it does not move in the night. No thuds coming from underneath and I have a real toilet and refrigerator.

But its not the boat.

I am emptying out all the extra stuff I don't need onboard now to make it easier to upgrade paint and varnish. I can still run her out with family for a weekend at this point.

As for another shot at the South Pacific. I am still mulling it over. It would be great, but we are still locked down worldwide pretty much with a second round of Covid-19+ thanks to the Chinese Communist Party and their Biological testing lab in Wuhan. We know the truth. Bio warfare by any other name is still warfare. We should have wacked them.

Oh well. I have a pressure washing calling my name so I need to get to it. Like Arnie says "I'll be back".

I am sitting back on the dock at Willow Grove. I never considered myself a dock dweller but I guess you have to surrender to fate at some point. I am in the process of cleaning the tanks again and I have decided to do some coastal sailing this summer with a short term crew. It seems more likely I will be able to get people to sail with me for a weekend rather than a month or two. At least I can use the boat on the ocean that way and not end up like the picture attached, slinking home with my tail between my legs. A whipped puppy.

I managed to return to Willow Grove unassisted. I got the steering to stay on point but it is so sensitive if I even touch the wheel she shifts heading. But it's doable. I arrived back at the dock and had welcoming hands helping to handle the lines and tie me securely. The wind had come up to about 25 mph which is too much to enter the interior of the marina so I side tied out board of my usual slip. We moved the boat in by hand line the next morning with no problem. I was so relieved to be on familiar turf and able to rest.

I am in the process of emptying the temporary tank.
I am giving the fuel to my buddy Rob since it is new clean fuel I don't want to recycle it. About 35 gallons of fuel. Then I have a buyer already online for the tank.

Now I have to figure out the logistics of emptying the main tank. I have a small pump which works very well so I will just get lots of buckets and do it five gallons at a time and send it to recycle.

The trip.

The first leg of the trip was uneventful until I got to the entrance to Newport. The steering giving me hell and spinning the boat tended to disorient me. I had difficulty keeping the destination on course and then when the steering failed, having to call for help was humiliating and last ditch. But it did get the boat in safely. Thank you USCG Yaquina Bay. Rock Stars one and all.

What I learned. The steering system has to be absolutely bulletproof. The pumps have to be evenly charged and responsive. Most of all they have to stay the rudder on course and not let it drift.

Fuel. Take no chances. Dump the old stuff and clean it out. I did clean out the tank when the boat came out of the yard. Too much algecide created a problem I could not correct at sea or in a marina due to regulations. So the next time I am prepping the tank by steam cleaning and all new fuel. Plus new water separators.

Solo? Hell no, never again. I could most likely have solved more issues if I had another person to hold the helm while I worked the navigation systems. The fog of mental overload would not have been present. Sometimes it is just not possible to process the information necessary to survive a long term even when the pressure of the instant events adding up overwhelm the mind. Huge overload and with help it is able to be managed, alone impossible.

When I came back I was pretty well done with this. I kind of feel that way now but then again I kind of want to try it again. I really did not fail in the endeavor but I did fail on the details and expectations of my own abilities.

So keep reading to see how I manage to talk myself into another shot at the south seas. Either that or selling the boat. I'm not sure at the moment.

I got the fix for the engine. I installed a new tank and all hoses to bypass the existing fuel feed system.

In the process I cleaned out fuel water separators and the inside of the bowl on the filter had oily mud like goo solid inside. I took it apart and soaked it in solvent then cleaned it and put it back into the mix.

I was talking to the guy at the fuel dock and he informed me that the fuel they sell to the Coast Guard has to have the anti algae additive in it. When I fueled up the day before I was not aware of their adding algacide to the fuel. So when I filled my tank I then added fuel treatment so in effect I had double the amount it was supposed to have.

Much like a swimming pool if you hit the water with a balancing chemical if you add too much algacide to the fuel it will "Shock" it just like the pool and all the dead organisms sink to the bottom. There is the problem. I have a deep layer of sludge in my tank and cannot correct it. So I bypassed it till I can open it up and clean it again.

With my Temp fix I should be able to get back to Willow Grove without any problems. So at 5 am tomorrow I and taking a run and see how it goes.

If the wind is right perhaps I can even sail her a bit.
Heaven knows I would like to at least catch some wind.

When I arrived at Newport it had been a grueling 18 hour job just to get there. Then the steering on the boat began to wander then I lost steering completely. I worked the problem and determined it was a piston problem, the steering pumps both were working fine.

I was three miles offshore from the bar and jetty and drifting south unable to do a thing about it. I called the Coast Guard and they sent out a motor boat to get me and deposited me on the dock. I lived.

After getting the piston fixed I rested a day and decided to make for Winchester Bay an easy 100 mile southern trip. Just after I cleared the jetty at Newport the engine began to smoke and stutter. I worked the problem and found no solution I could do on the water so close to shore. I was being battered by the rolling wave hitting the boat broadside and actually submerging my port gunnels up to the cockpit line. I was standing upright on the side of the boat. I was in trouble.
I dropped anchor and let out 250 feet of line and then locked it in place. I phone my friends at the Coast Guard and explained the situation. They were great. Another motor boat came and and we had a real issue with the timing as I had to clear the anchor and chain before they could come along side and attach to me. I was again was getting beat up by waves and with opposing wind could not center the boat. Again I was screwed. Finally they grabbed me up and put me back on the dock.

I figured out that when I filled the fuel tank and then went to sea the roller waves and constant up and down turned my fuel tank into a milk shake machine with all of the algae and crunchies finally being let loose from the sludge in the very bottom under the baffles where a steam cleaner could not get. So the filters clogged and my engine died.

During both of these events I was not a happy camper. Having spent tens of thousands of dollars setting this boat up to make the trip it exposed her weakness on the water which I would have preferred to have found them in port before I left.

It delivered me to a reckoning point.

Can I do this trip solo on this boat in its present state. And should I try this trip knowing I still have issues beyond the ability to repair and deal with while underway. Being single handed means no one steering and in the PNW with winter waves approaching you need to be steering. Auto Pilots don't work in this type of weather, at least mine don't they just kind of hold you in one place long enough to move somewhere else.

With this in mind after much consideration I am returning to Willow Grove. I will not be trying this again. I'm nearly 65 and the battering I took definitely impacted my ability to work problems. I felt like I had been three rounds with Tyson.

Does this seem like a defeat to me? Hell yes it does. But does it seem like the right decision to make at this time. For me, Yes it does. I could continue to go south stopping in small places and paying large sums for the privilege becoming more and more isolated from my family and friends. Life is more than big dreams, it's also the ties of family that create your true sense of happiness. I am missing that.

One of the things I have always said is that if something that I think is fun ceases to be fun then I will do something else. Sadly I believe that this is the case here. I enjoyed being at the marina. I loved the people and atmosphere and being able to move my boat to an island with my grandson, brother or kids. I like the sound of the rain and the gentle rocking that goes with it.

So my decision is made. I am ending this long awaited trip because it just doesn't seem like its fun anymore It seems more dangerous rather than adventurous and no matter how much I throw into this beautiful boat it won't correct everything that comes up and one lone sailor cannot handle it all.

I do like living, I love my family. I especially enjoy helping people with their boats.

I know I will take a lot of flack about this, Why people will screw with me I don't know because at least I took a bite out of life no matter how sour the taste. I tried in every way and I am not ashamed.

I have been feeling this way for quite some time. I feel the need to connect some place where I am not alone all the time. Its not healthy and frankly I am tired of seeing life going on all around me and I am not part of it. So if you read this now you know the straight skinny of it all.

I'm coming home. I'm selling the boat and then getting a little house somewhere and finishing it up. I hope to see you all soon, I only have to navigate 260 more miles to get there.

I started out from Astoria with enthusiasm and great hopes for a fun exciting trip south. For the most part I had my expectations met. I was under sail for about half of the time and the wind died leaving me to motor. No sweat, I have a strong machine in this boat. But along about the time I was heading in towards Yaquina Bay and Newport I noticed that I could not keep the boat on point. I steered the course and then it would violently veer to either side. No way to tell. I would then have to reset the course to point where I needed to go. I was constantly fighting the wheel to stop zig zagging, this along with the constant roller waves slamming me on the side instead of astern made for some pretty amazing gymnastics on my part.

This had started at about 8 pm just after dark. As it got darker and then totally blacked out it was evident I had a problem. I finally managed to get somewhere close to the New Port Jetty and then the steering ceased to function at all.

Fortunately the wind had died totally and all I had to contend with was drift and waves.

I knew I was whipped. Sadly and with shame I called to Coast Guard for an assist. I explained that I could not make the entrance to the jetty as I had impaired steering and making no headway and drifting towards shore.

They sent out a boat and within 30 minutes I had company. An extremely talented and professional crew heaved a tow line over and then brought me right into the channel and deposited me on the transit docks. These guys know their stuff and they saved my ass. Without even a kiss they rode off into the sunset with my forever thanks.

I slept for about 5 hours and then tore into the steering system. I discovered the problem to be the piston that drives the rudder quadrant.
I removed it and hitched a ride into town to a hydraulic place and they rebuilt it while I waited.
The inner piston seal was leaking allowing the pressure from one side to migrate to the other and doing so without moving the piston. Add to that the waves and motion of the boat were pushing the rudder which was then pushing the piston in and out. A bad situation. Fixed.

So Today Saturday I took the day off by donning wet suit and fins and dropped into the bay and set up the auxiliary rudder system I had thought up.
I don't want to get caught again in that same situation.

So I am going take off on Sunday Morning. Newport is too expensive to stay for more than a day or two and frankly still too far north . I need to follow this weather window as far as I can ride it out then hunker down and wait the the next one.

Oh well, off the the laundry and showers.