The Dog With No Brain
11 July 2010 | Port Angeles, Wa
So, I've never seen one before and my daughter tried to describe him to me using various terms like "he's just simple"...and "he has a cool personality" ...but I wasn't prepared for the dog with no brain.
We live on a boat...and I often think to myself "boy I'll bet that water's cold and wet"...especially when it's cold and wet. (I don't do cold water...some kind of allergy)...anyway...My daughter and family came to visit...which included two of her dogs...greyhounds to be exact....Now to be clear, greyhounds don't do much anyway...I mean they look like they do ...you know...low, sleek, super fast looking even when their standing still...but in reality...they've often been described as 45 lb couch potatoes!...Oh and they're not the brightest candles on the cake either...but...all that aside....evidently one of her dogs failed to pick up on one of the more fundamental clues about the nature of reality. He was on the dock and fell in the water. No biggie...dogs and kids, (and some adults but not me) fall in the water all the time...and sometimes dogs even run and jump into the water...you know...to chase sticks and stuff...well this dog (who, from this time forward shall be labeled..."the dog with no brain")...tried to walk on the water...literally! He was just like...walking down the dock...and didn't get that the dock ended and doink! Not like he didn't see the end of the dock (he's not blind or anything)...evidently he just kept walking and went in...of course being a greyhound (make that read "a bag of bones with skin") he just sunk like a rock...poor thing tried to paddle but when all you have is sticks to stoke with and zero body fat, things weren't looking too good. (My daughter says that although it's true that he has low body fat he does have large padded paws...I'm thinking...she's right...large feet work well for ducks..but ducks weigh like 12 ounces...and have tons of feathers!....he, on the other hand, was a hundred pounds of tangled twigs...and my mental picture of him drowning kind of reminded me of stuff I put in the blender just before it gets sucked under....so anyway he's floundering around...her husband comes running and grabs him and pulls him up on the dock. Me?...I did what I was trained to do...went to the life sling...and started to throw it at him when it dawned on me..."let's see ...here's a dog that doesn't even get water...in a state of panic and I'm expecting him to grab the lifesling and pull himself through, and wait to be hauled in...maybe I should just join the dog." In his defense, he is a greyhound...one of those caged rescue dogs, and my daughter says he had no prior experience with large bodies water...especially flat mirror still water as it was in the harbor....and he probably just thought..."Hey look at that shiny stuff...I wonder if it will hold my weight." Watching the dog later, I came to the conclusion that he didn't think that at all...in fact even when he was drowning I doubt if much was going on in his head...short of "What the %$#@!"
It appears that these dogs need to be taught everything from the git-go...meaning outside of running, and being in a cage, (and maybe eating), they have no survival instincts what-so-ever. She says they have a great personality...and I'm thinking "yeah so does a stick...but even a stick knows enough to stay out of the chipper! Proof came when they got him out and he just stood there. Most dogs shake off and stuff...this one just stood there... dripping. He should have at least been embarrassed or something...nothing...just stood there seemingly unaware that he had a bad experience. No panic, no trauma...just wet.... the only conclusion I could draw was he had no brain what-so-ever...in fact I think it's a miracle that he even remembers to eat or get up after he's been laying down. On the other hand...I thought a fun thing to do with them might be to take them to a place like Pet's Smart and maybe open a couple of cages and turn him loose on a waxed floor...but I'm easily entertained.
Ray out for now...