sargasso research, happiness
12 September 2015 | 07 30'N:18 30'W, a starry night far off
Donna
good Evening.Sargasso Heaven�...Joan got in touch with actual researchers that are concerned because of the increasing extremely large bloom of weeds in the warm waters of the Atlantic, which includes the ITC zone. I am a unique boat out here all alone coming across the paths with the huge areas of weeds. I managed to take some photos and Joan is passing on information to the research group�...Very cool of Joan. So today, I took additional close up photos of the weeds and critters in the weeds I gathered. Thanks Joan.
It seems that no matter how far south I go, the variable winds follow. The forecast is not very encouraging but�...there is wind around, though on the nose for the most part, not always. Lol.
But I am making headway little by little tacking away. It reminds me of my sail to Haiti in 2011. It was a 700 mile sail that took me 1400 miles and two weeks to tack through. But I have to say, the wind was very steady and reliable�...unlike this variable winds in the squalls and clouds of the ITC. But it was amazing how far you can sail sideways trying to make any headway forwards. Today has been one of those days. The wind shifting as I tack making for 180* tacks�...??? Wait a minute. Wasn�'t I just sailing close hauled at 90* on a port tack�...how can I now be close hauled at 270* on a starboard tack?
Now you all know by now that this solo sail is about competing a nonstop circumnavigation�...it is about doing it using traditional seamanship skills and becoming in tuned with the celestial sphere, following the stars and navigating by the celestial bodies�...yes.. I am making headway with all those things.
And you all know that it is also a healing journey for me�... a Walden experience�...an opportunity for personal expansion of my own spiritual and visionary goals, to write a book.
As I go through the different oceans and �'zones�', they each present very different challenges and no two passages are the same. Each has its own uniqueness, certainly weather anomalies, and ways in which it challenges the psyche�...AS a solo sailor, the 24/7 responsibility for everything that happens creates fatigue and its own �'sea madness�' as you have all gotten to know.
Yet, my goal is to recognize my own patterns of dealing with challenges that seem to be short-circuiting my own positive experience. Also as a solo sailor, I don�'t candy coat my world�...there is no one here but me (well, you all by proxy of the sailblogs) and I don�'t perform for anyone. I am very raw and reactive, very disclosing to myself. I rant and spew ugliness at will.
Over the past week, dealing wih the challenges of the ITC zone, I have met the most miserable son of a gun I know�...I am really no fun when things don�'t go my way. I have been legitimately challenged by steering issues, squalls and variable winds. The winds are all out of the south so my tacks are from a course of 150 �- 240*, not exactly where I want to go to get through the ITC zone and on my way. Sure it makes for long hard days and nights..it is relentless. Sure, I am exhausted.
But I recognize this person all too well. I�'ve seen her at work, doing day to day tasks, and truthfully, she comes out even when she is doing something she wants to do. Sewing�...that is a real eye opener. That Donna just can�'t take things slow and be careful�...I am so anxious to be done with it that I am careless and pressing the whole way through the process. Me on the computer�...same thing. I get so so frustrated. So, this is a character trait I would like to root out.
Today, I was overwhelmed with emotion, one more time, just trying to steer the �'non wind�'�...that updrafting, up and down moving wind that you feel, but it just doesn�'t move the boat, won�'t let you sail to wind, and with my steering vane, I was having trouble adjusting it so there was the right tension on the tiller. Again, the miserable Donna Di just couldn�'t chill and do what had to be done without cursing and fussing every time I had to tack. (a hundred times in the last week), would lose my balance and almost fall�...grabbing anything I can, pulling my shoulders. Ouch#$*(&.
I was totally unsuccessful at consoling Donna Di. Finally, a miracle happens and a real breeze seems to settle in and miraculously it is from the west�... I am actually sailing nearly south. I finally breath. I look around and it is a beautiful night and I am overwhelmed at what a spoiled brat I am. No matter how I try to re-center myself when I am �'keepin on, keepin on, tacking, fixing, typing, trying, trying trying to keep the boat moving�...It doesn�'t work�...the only thing that worked was when I got my own way�...a nice breeze setting me to a reasonable course.
Now, I can smell the Sargasso weeds and see the sunset that was gorgeous oranges. The stars are absolutely spectacular tongith�...huge and magnificent with only a sliver of a moon about to go down.
Now I can rhetoricize�...how "I can�'t complain�...I could be a little girl slave in asia or something really aweful". I am just living my dream as challenging as that dream may be for me ta times.
I will say this. I can see myself as if on the outside watching in a way I have never before. Poor Bob�...how he puts up with me is unknown to me. He has certainly seen me in Donna Di mode.
But I have great hope. I still have 7 ½ months to work on me. I know the answer still lies in conscious discipline and meditation, yoga. It is just getting me out of my �'Misery rut�' long enough to do what I need to do for my own energy.
So. Keepin On Keepin On Sailing On a Hope and a Dream�.... To becoming a Happy person who exudes Joy. More than being optimistic, I choose to be positive. I am going to work on HUMOR tomorrow�... I promise.
FAirest of winds and the love of the oceans Only GRatitude Donna