SailBlog

A new way A murky day old Gepetto CPM 10 1220 UTC

It was a strange weather day yesterday, as I sat most of the day becalmed in a heavy dense fog; I even got out my gear for catching water as it was so dark to the west that I imagined it was rain coming across the water, but as it slipped by me, the fog tightened. At night, the sky was not cloudy, it was a low ceiling of clouds that made the day old full moon stand out in the haze with almost a 'moondog' effect though the murky haze around it had no spectrum of a rainbow. The air was so thick with water it was denser than a drizzle yet the drops did not fall, somehow remaining suspended at dew point in the air... I milked the light but steady winds that finally came from the west to make as much headway as possible through the evening and through the night.

The sun was out this morning when I pulled myself from my cloaking of warmth...I found a nice crowd of birds hovering and swooping down to say hello as I came up through the companionway. Two black larger petrels, a half dozen Albatross and a flock of Prions....I am sure there are some mid-sized varieities in there that I will spot if I go sit outside a while, No Cape Petrel today, at least not yet... It is 55 *, reminding me of living in Ireland, the same damp cold, moderate temperature all the time, cool enough that you bundle up with lots of layers to be warm outside, but as soon as you start to move around and start to work at any task, you're sweating inside. Then, when you stop, you get that chill...

But by the mid of the day, out of the breeze, the sun is warm...and on this course, it is shining below, the warmth cutting through and I was ready to let one layer of fleece go...

Right now the magnetic variation is 33.8*W...wow...It has advanced one degree each day since 10-19. This is when I really am missing the GPS..it takes all that into consideration. I have to plan that into setting course...no wonder I had thought I had a strong northing current...I was steering 10* off. Luckily, I have the Starpilot program and it does calculate the variation precisely. That helps.

The afternoon was graced by my first GREAT ALBATROSS...It is a massive bird, long long tube nosed, and his body and face are mottled colors of grey, brown, and white...Wow.... And a sole Cape Petrel came swooping by my stern just before that...what a great bird day.

I did try to get some sun sights today...It is such a challenge with the swells. I had to stand up by the mast to get high enough to have any length of time to see the horizon beyond the waves. Then by the time I was set to do a second sight, the clouds had moved in. Tomorrow I will try again.

After yesterdays epiphanies in meditation and starting to learn how to clear my psyche of old emotions and patterns...I woke this morning feeling already connected consciously and just continued to purge my being of old stuff...what a great thing; so freeing to let go of all the old identities. Writing my book may almost take on a fiction type of disconnect as I don't relate to the person I was in any real sense earlier in my journey...I was able to forgive myself of my past patterns of behavior that left me vulnerable to emotional hurt and also those that were part of my growth in discovery at the time that are no longer a part of my pathway; i was able to accept, forgive, letting it go from my present.

When I sailed around the world the first time, one of the most remarkable revelations to me was how the satellite phone worked...it took the smallest amount of battery power to charge it and the charge lasted a long time...how could anything using that little power somehow communicate with satellites and allow me to talk to my mother on Sunday afternoons...totally reliably...as if she was standing next to me? How is that possible? It was so astounding to me.

As I thought about the amount of energy our own minds use and have access too, the immediate correlation for me was that our minds ust have a capacity that we are not using in this time in this age of existance. If I can call my mom on a satellite phone, I should be able to focus my energy to send her thoughts, love, energy...in some form.

It became for me the foundation of all I believe about prayer and how the energy fields of people create the powerful impact that we see through charisma, leadership, advertising,...the ability for focused energy to be magnified like we see in social media with videos that go viral. It is all about energy and how it is used. But somewhere along the evolution of humanity, we have lost all ability to use our minds precisely...it has been lost in socialization.

So when I met Jeff and Jeanne, our new neighbors, it was an enlightenment ready to happen as we were able to communicate on such a 'knowing' level...I got it when Jeff started to explain how Psychonoetics worked...I understood it internally...but at the time, I wasn't able to stop the pattern of living in distraction and a level of self-destructive stress trying to work as a nurse, to be able to focus on his teaching to consider learning it...It seemed so far from my state of mind at the time...and I knew it; but I couldn't change it.

Inwardly, it was knowing about this kind of practice as well as the other vast world of meditation based teaching that compelled me to want to do my sail nonstop, nine months on the sea; I knew it would be the lifechanging answerfor me. I had read and knew about these practices , had some successes with them..and I had always had a strong spiritual and loving energy. But now I was completely undone and had to find a new way. I was ready and at sea I have the time as well as I am placed amdist the most powerful energy, the ocean.

Though, I have to confess that I was beginning to wonder, as up until now, I have still found that I did not have a capacity to really practice even here at sea. It took 3 months for me to unwind from the patterns of existing on land...wow...and I am trusting that I will continue to nurture my conscious existance in the next six months.

As long as that seems in some ways, it seems reasonable that it will take me that long to really deepen my relationship in consciousness and to gain some mastery of the skills of meditation,...even the exercises to balance my poor brain hemisphere imbalance...it was diagnosed long ago, but I just haven't stopped my world long enough to try to train my capacity.

Growth and true discovery has to just come ...growth always has a gestation period and we can't force growth...it has to happen at its own time...I feel like it is time for these changes...they are coming to me.

At the end of the blog, I have added an addendum to explain some of the therapies and such...in case you are interested.

The sailing is the same challenges today, but I am feeling almost empty...not sure now what my identity is as it is no longer attached to the past Donna...except how I relate to now, like being a Noni... and all... those are really roles though, not my identity. So it will be interesting to see how this all plays out. I am excited to see who this present time will create.

I was realizing, that in the future, when I want to communicate who I am to someone, the only way to really do it is to just stop and be quiet and let my presence speak for itself. True identity isn't describable in words...It just is.

I just have to find a way to stay in the winds now...I do have a world to sail around....I actually asked my consciousness what Latitude I should be sailing at. I heard a clear answer. " Donna, how afraid are you of a bit of wind? The steady winds are south. " Then I decided to ask consciousness again, this time listening for the type of yes or no body response I am learning to recognize... it was a yes to going south so I am sailing for 45*S. Truly, I have been keeping myself in 25kts and 15' seas up til now. So...I am heading to the wind. Right now, all the low centers are well below 50S... So, all is good.

I got this amazing story from a wonderful friend: "on the work of C.G. Jung. I find a wholeness in his work that feeds me. I came across his humorous side just now in a biography, and it ends with a lovely commentary on the soul and oceans", she says in introduction.

He begins the story describing humorously, the articles of his room that were magically transformed into characters in the intense roughness of the ocean movement below deck on a transocean liner crossing, then he closes his story, "...What has man to say here, especially at night when the ocean is alone with the starry sky? One looks out silently, surrendering all self-importance, and many old sayings and images scurry through the mind; a low voice says something about the age-oldness and infinitude of the "far-swelling murmurous sea," of "the waves of the sea and of love," of Leukothea, the lovely goddess who appears in the foam of the seething waves to travel-weary Odysseus and gives him the pearly veil which saves him from Poseidon's storm. The sea is like music; it has all the dreams of the soul within itself and sounds them over. The beauty and grandeur of the sea consists in our being forced down into the fruitful bottomlands of our own psyches, where we confront and re-create ourselves..." Carl Jung

As the sun is setting with a beautiful red to orange to yellow streaked sunset, the Albtrosses careening along the water up into the sky, silhouettes against the brilliance, the little grey Prions still flitting around as time is of no consequence at all...Another day closes on II, at least the daytime... But I dare to hope that the fair breeze that is blowing will hold on til the dawn allowing for a peaceful night while miraculously still rustling along through the ocean taking me on toward home...the long way.

Keepin On Sailin On a Dream... A new way of living. While the sailing and managing II and the winds will continue to be my task at hand, it will be the tender to the real goals of transformation. I am out on a limb here, sharing with you all as I go...that is faith. My book is being created, it is not just being written.

Fairest of Winds and the Love of the Ocean Only Gratitude Donna

Addendum: Amazingy, I was using techniques from our reknown Psychologist neighbor, Jeff Eisen, along with other ideas from DeMello and Tolle...some of my own. The technique for clearing is an extension of one used in NAET training ( a naturopathic alergy treatment)... Finger testing and Auto-kinesiology, which Eisen has developed farther into work of his own. He took a technique usedfor testing kinesiological patterns for allergy elimination and broadened the spectrum of its use to communicate with God consciousness forming Psychonoetics....the study of the mind through consciousness.

It all starts by beginning to practice meditation, a process where we become quiet enough to actually hear and relate to our inner body,our true being in consciousness. And then from there, it is easy as Eisen brilliantly brought me to understand...we can communicate within our self with consciousness and consciousness will intervene for us when we ask it to in specifics within...not to the extent of not needing medical care...it just isn't like that. But for the day-to-day life giving emotional and physical health needs we have, it is the most effective health promotion that exists, not that it will not help with major illness as well. But as most of illness is based in either risk behaviors or psychological factors, this teaching is life changing.

I am finding the key to liberation and freedom is faith in a valid scientific reality that we are conscious beings, and within us is the energy of creation that is interested in not only creating us, but interacting with us in a relationship...Sounds like lots of religious ideals, but this practice suggests that consciousness doesn't need a book or a preacher or anyone else to facilitate our interaction...we can be consciously connected and in communication with God in our inner body and being on our own. If God is within us, than who else do we need to consult?

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