Draming of the tropics: 8 hours time diference
01 November 2015 | 44 30'S:28 00'E, out of harms way...
Donna:: CPM 18 110115 1600
I am late today answering email...but with the delay now in time...+3hr above UTC plus your clocks are going back...I think my computer actually did it already, yes...it did...I have 0821 am. and it says that it just turned it back. So you are now 5 hours off of my Weems and Plath set at UTC...instead of 4. And at 30*E I will be 3+ UTC. 8 hours of difference and it will be growing fast...I have nearly 20 hours to go to get around to where I will cross my outbound track at 22W.
I am so appreciative of the Grib Files from GMN...I am only too glad to be where I am....an ugly low is oging to make mincemeat of whatever is north east of me in the next 2 days....but I am going to head a bit more north too...I will have 30kts from the east at 44* in 5 dys according to Grib..so will head to higher ground. around 42* over the next days of good winds.
Been on a super slow pace on the water but the sun came out and warmed it up from 45* to 53*...somehow that felt warm...going to start to blow tonight though...so will go right to third reef and settle in for making some headway...at least for a few days..and if I get north of 42 * should at least be sailing on some kind of wind for the next week.
I did notice a new petrelll...it is like the black ones but much greyer in colors and pretty big...2 huge albatrosses were just hanging out on the water...just sitting there floating by...I am disappointed in my photography...i am not captureing much of the glory of it...but...I will have what I have... and my incredible memories of communing with them all through the days...
The day did turn out beautiful, though little wind...but enough and from a direction that we are just gently gliding along going ENE...the magnetic variation is insane...I have to steer 130* to go east. The variation will be 50*W when I get to 65*E..
I am full swing into self-therapy now...it is wonderfull. Now whenever I find myself emotional and reacting to things, I may keep reacting, but I watch mysellf, and start to ask myself why I am reacting...it is some kind of resistance to the NOW that I am not accepting and it has something to do with past memories and conclusions I have made. Now I am able to go back and clear the memory path or emotion from the past and look at things fresh in the present, at least for a while, until another reaction occurs. I am feeling better... and as if I am finally making headway on my healing journey...it is hard to imagine,, but it took me three months to unwind enough to even be able to meditate...that is why I do these long trips.
This morning with the becalming again, then headwinds, then insane cold...I was undone for a little while... I felt that terror that I am just never going to make it home in the windlessness, headwinds, nothing steady to just make progress... it is not going to be a straight shot with good sailing for little while yet anyway...maybe after getting past Madegascar and the effects still coming off Africa....
I was able to identify my attachments to making progress, and old emotions from failures that, once I could identify them, I could clear...when I did..it actually seems to release the tensions and I am relaxed...so it is a combo of awareness but then with Eisen's clearing process, I can detach my present from the old past pathways. It is working for me. I am really finding I can meditate, and feel the connection to my inner body, a quiet place of peace...and belonging. it takes faith that their is a benevolent God, I call Anam Cara, I don't like using the term God...I chose Anam Cara...soul friend...
So I did a bunch of writing in my Healing Journey Essay to day...I am pleased with that.
I am rereading 'Tao Of Physics' by Fritjof Capra...Space and time...quantum theory realizes the now, proven, concept that all material things are actually made of molecules and atoms that are all mostly space and primarily energy...not the 'hard dense' things they appear. These things also are in motion in time...so space and time are always changing...the material world is impermanent...So despite the appearance of things...my reading and my belief woud suggest that spirituality and eternity are the true permanent elements in life as they are real and encapsulate all time...timeless...Ominiscient, Ominipotent, and Omnipresent, Consciousness.
So...I can enjoy the timeless reality of warmth in my spirit in my senses to some extent...especially when I am tucked between all my warm blankets and experiencing being warm....while I dream of being home in our lovely home in Florida...
Just a bit of entertainment...
Now, I feel the pangs of missing you all. The days will start to melt away though as I turn my attention to meditation as well as I think I will be busy sailing. Somehow the ends of the months seem to drag on...It took forever to get to Cape Hope It was such a big round corner...Like going around Cape Canaveral...you can see it for hundreds of miles from all three sides though it isn't that big. Yes, Cape Horn will seem like that...a week to get south enough...then 10* around...but the momentum towards home will increase on the outswing from that one.
So..now the path is lineal for a while. I don't know where to be to get across. I have been realizing what a problem I have with decisions like this...I attribute it to the dyslexia...choices between two directions is really hard... right now the high is high...in the 30s...I can't be all over the place...Probably the age old average of 40S will win.
I am not fairing too well out here as far as beauty contests are concerned. Maybe once I am warm and if I ever get to sail some good sailing, I will start to look my old self, but I am looking ancient...it is like the gravity of the G forces is totally winning, though I only see reflection in my computer screen when I am on the home page...it is scary...plus the grey...I brought color for my hair, but it seems weird that at this point in my journey I would try to hide my grey hair...we will see. I hope I have some hair left. I leave it in braids and only brush it every few days or a week maybe...it seems like so much comes out that I am losing it...but I am not...I have done this before...
I had a lovely bit of time on deck with the birds today. I came up at one time and there were two huge huge Albatross just sitting on the water, floating by...they got spooked by me and it was so funny to watch them try to get their huge bodies off the water...it took quite a while...they really are just huge sea gulls.
I really had my heart set on making a stop somewhere for a little while... All this worry about running out of water; the cold; it all wears on me...plus obviously, it would be great to stop...and I know that I can stop if I want to...it is my journey....but I won't. Not unless there is a 'real' need to. I will get rain water, it will warm up, and I will make progress, and all that...it will come together.
But it also was the first time I felt like I was at all ready to come home...I think it is because I am finding the resolution to my spiritual quest as well... not that there isn't six months of practice given the incredible hardness of the way out here with such unsteady winds and weather, and a book or two to write to keep me busy...
Keepin On Sailin On a Dream....a chilly one...actually...I am tranporting myself to warm places in my daydreams on purpose, creating a little reality exchange therapy...I am going to have to coin that idea... as I dwell on sunshine and smiling family faces... Fairest of Winds and the Love of the Ocean Only Gratitude Donna
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