SailBlog

I got a new chart from Mike yesterday with the charts from Cameron... this is a powerful moving week for me, but a whole week of 30+kt winds. squalls today well over 40kts...The was suppose to start with front that didn't arrive till late aftermoon. was beautiful for a couple of hours..i was knitting in the cockpit. but then the front came...fast moving but wild...I have been wet and on deck since, ducking in to warm up. .. Those two storms on this chart are huge and will pack some real seas...to 9m...so I will be working for those days...three days of seas 5-9m. So I am going to get up to 40*S to minimize it all. I have to get my head around he 45*W compass variation though to steer far enough north to make northing. I didin't do so well today though I thought I was making north so I will have to be more aggressive. I am at 41* 58' but making lots of easting. so...all good. I wanted to make headway...well, it takes fronts to do it, it seems there are no trades just fronts.

It will have been 4 different fronts this week...one every day to other day. crazy. It is wild out here now...full on Southern Ocean one front after another every day so winds shifts huge ann blowing over 30kts a lot now and my pet peave...it is cold...doesn't get above 50 barely ...

I am heading for higher ground nearer 40S now..the storms are now packing huge winds and seas much higher in latitude...So I am in 'fighting mode' now...no more wamsy pamsy whining about anything...it is the real thing and will be this way til it isn't...I don't really know when. I would presume that this larger storm pattern is not a trend as such as an occurance that will interject into the greater trend of the frontal passages I have had since arriving in the Southern Ocean.

In my own investigation of my abilities, I see a trend. One very huge gliche in my ability is to be able to multi task and be thorough in every area...I am proving to be a perfect specimen to exemplify the teachings of all three of my mentors on board, Tolle, DeMello, and certainly Eisen...thinking with the brain, left to itself, is dangerous as it thinks in patterns that reinforce what it wants to believe based on the past conclusions derived from memories and experiences we have had. Those conclusions become presumptions we make without testing them in the present as to whether they are true or not..we presume things to be a certain way and so do not look for a different answer...we have one irregardless of quite accessible proof to the contrary.

I was thorough with the boat refits and all...but I really presumed the weather was going to be milder than my last trip which in hindsight was purely the incurable optimist because there was no reason for me to presume that given I arrived at Cape Hope last time at the end of their summer, most warm part of season, and this time I arrived in early Spring, nearer the coldest time of the year. And the obsurdity is that there is an infinite amount of information regarding the average temps and conditions to expect in these regions I could have looked at if I had any question about what the weather would be like...but I didn't ... the weather was going to be improving and 'going into the summer'...And there you have it.

If the information wasn't in the Jimmy Cornell Pilot atlas, I didn't study farther; I didn't even study the atlas carefully as I found when I was crossing the North Atlantic and got lost in the Azore high. I had already made a presumption with a foregone conclusion about what route I was going to take.

The first circ it was NOvember when I left so I just wanted to get south of the gulf stream to warmer territory before I was going to do any easting...I landed south of the Azzore high head on with the tradewinds at 35N...

so I had already decided that for this second trip, I was leaving in summer and would take the full circle route around the North Atlantic....I was going to take 40N across to where I could make a passage towards the tradewinds...and so I did..but I never looked carefully at the exact latitude of the tradewinds near the Azzores and found my self south and becalmed..in what became the longest North atlantic crossing to the Equator in history ... I left early to avoid hurricane season, making my arrival at Cape Hope in late October...too too too too early...that is why I am so cold and my ascent back into RI will also be too too too early, in April.

There are so many books written about planning trips like this from amazing seasoned sailors that I didn't read because I just don't read books about sailing...I sail...but it meant that I am learning first hand what I could have learned easier. I will write books that people like me don't read. Our minds are absolutely selective in how they filter life and present it to us, especially when we are under stress. This is the reason why I have had to find a better way to center my being to be able to be present, not feeding todays present with a response of the past that blinds me to seeing what is right in front of me NOW. It is also why I find it so difficult to master the skill of remaining in the present when dealing with life situations, decisions, and preparations as I have seen in hindsight. I was overwelmed with fundraising and acquisition of gear, event planning...everything...and my time table was approaching fast.

With the abrupt change in the intensity of weather I have experienced this last week, suddenly, my adrenalin is flying, my metabolism aiding to keep me a bit warmer, and my senses are all peaked for the 'fight and flight' state of functioning. This is where the adventure kicks in and the mondane is suddenly, less a concern, or at least I have more energy to manage it all.

Now my brain is busy preparing sail plans that are most efficient and watching the seas rise amidst the frontal passes, sensing the boats every sway for something amiss, too much sail power, a course change, something that sounds wrong that could be a breakage about to happen that could be averted.

There is a part of my being that feeds off of this adrenalin and I have been successful at managing these intense times, the time goes by quickly, and my potential energy that is cooped up within my being starts to release as kinetic energy...suddenly I am on the deck, 40kt winds screaming in the rig, pulling sail out of the air, jibing the main, reefing the jib...all intuitively, never considering whether it is cold outside accept that moment of cringe when I first pull back the companionway hatch and the icy breeze meets my nose..it is that air of coldness and wildness...unmistakable. I climb over the hatches and get to work.

I will write books about preparing for such a trip based on those things I didn't do more than those I did. And truth is that the same situation is what occured during my first trip, but it is expected that the novice and unknowns would lead to misaligned preparations, balance heavily toward the vessel that is the refuge and oasis of salvation, the only 28 feet that will keep me separated from this massive ocean...and the comforts or non-necessity.

But again, for me...it is that incurable optimist within that looked at things the way I did, which meant I somehow made the preparation happen, I did pack and remain relatively comfortable, the vessel did perform well, I did manage the world's oceans with an increasing mastering of vessel amidst the elements and found my own spiritual salvation amidst the energy of the sea.

So it is interesting to consider the things I did better in preparation the second time around, and those things that I may have neglected to worse from familiarity. It is times like this, when I know that with a little research and more attention to some details, more time spent in resourceing the gear I needed, not the funds to acquire them...that I would be much more comfortable. And truth is, that I am only too aware that there are situations that could occur that would create dire outcomes because of some very ill planning indeed.

When I was reading the horror stories of the past single-handlers of the last century and a half, I was terrorized when I considered how I would be able to manage situations that occured that these sailors did survive...I am quite sure I could not. I just shouldn't have read those pages. My consolation was to read the recommendations for preparation of the vessel which refreshed my utter confidence in Inspired Insanity to be my capsule of sanity and successful completion of my voyage without any dire situations...

I am figuring it out. Now that the propane tank has lasted over 3 months, I feel a bit more liberal with it...I light the burner and just let it heat my hands when I come in from the cold...I warm my shoes and gloves... Everything is wet, damp inside...just having that wetness be a bit warmer is a help. I am still hopeful that the temp will increase to at least 60 as the season of summer arrives and I am a bit more north...it would be a huge difference.

Keepin On Sailin On a Dream....Wild wild world...it is being willing to make it happen within your being that is what just does happen when the moment requires it...You don't think about doing it, you just know that you will.

Fairest of Winds and the Love of the Ocean Only Gratitude Donna

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