SailBlog

Moving Again... Christmas light fun

The blessing of storm conditions is that the winds tend to be very steady...they escalate but they remain from a constant direction for longer periods... Once I got the sails to the right plan to maintain the speed and course, I was able to go below and just 'hang on'... I have been on the same course for several days so I am resting though it is in a flying circular motion.

But over the days, the number of hard hits have increased to the starboard beam as the winds back to SSE with the movement of the storm center somewhat north and west, then east. So, this morning I adjusted the course to a more ENE course from a NNE... I am making more easting which puts me closer to the storm edge but it is moving away from me... and it is allowing me to sail up into the waves...the sea state is very sloppy with competing swells and wind driven seas. it is working better, as the waves roll under more instead of slapping as direct hits to the beam.

I still have at least another day of the SSE to S winds before it starts to shift to SSW and I can ease off and the seas and winds will settle down. though the forecast is for 20+kts to continue all week with gusts into the 30kt range and seas to 3 meters (15ft)

With the approaching new storm...huge vast South Ocean storm... those winds will back to SW and though it is huge, it will remain south of me so I can ride the north edge of SW winds that will go to WSW and W... We will be moving then...time to make headway and make up for lost time, not that there really is a 'time'.

Whatever works is the right time.

Out farther, Bob McD has qued me that there is a Low coming that is above a high.... a pattern of easterly winds betweeen is approaching...so... life here is charging in circles...as the world moves around..so does the wind.

It is hard to breath with the motion below...I am reduced to whatever I can do either laying down or for short periods sitting. I am sailing hard now. I have to keep my point and have to go fast enough that the waves don't just throw me around...I will find myself taking hard hits again if I do. The average speed is fine as I am ...it is in the gusts that it really gets the G forces going.

I had a great email from Jeanne Socrates...She was able to give me great information on everything from communication, radio stations, and her heavy weather strategies as she suggested that getting below NZ without getting caught in some form of a gale is unlikely...it is just too far to go to transit that section, taking too long, to avoid everything...the most important area, as I have been aware, is the bank south of NZ...which goes all the way to Antarctica...so it will be most important to time that crossing with good conditions...which means sacrificing conditions on one side or the other...

So...henceforth she gave great suggestions for hoving to or setting a drogue or I have a sea anchor...to be safe through the larger seastates I may likely see...I will hope for the BEST....at least considering the worst... Unfortunately, she couldn't give me much encouragement that i would have a seamless passage...but I hadn't had that expectation.

She is an amazing sailor...a true cruiser having lived solely on her yacht for so many years...I am an expedition sailor at this point... though Bob and I live on Calypso in RI during the summers...it isn't like she does as she actually cruises experiencing along the way.

I also had a great email from Pat Henry. She has inspired the desire to want to celestial navigate, along with Capt Virgina Wagner... Pat did an eight year circumnavigation, the whole first half done solely with celestial navigation. At that time, Loran had become widely used and she was donated the system..she commented in her book how, in its early stages, she could actually correct the Loran positions...she also noted how she missed the connection she had felt to the movement of the celestial bodies in her spiritual communion... it impressed me that I wanted to experience that connection to the celestial from her expeience.

I have continued to move through my 'Clearing Path'...It has been such an awakening to realize the role of my eogic survival tactics over all the years...and to note that, regardless of the seeming 'highs' I enjoyed along the way...ethereal music sessions and friendships i gained, that the cycles of my egoic path always eventually left me bankrupt and unsuccessful...it seemed it always pushed me too far until the experiences imploded, leaving me feeling again, lost, unfulfilled, and empty of energy.

It is what has allowed me to move forward though, as in those dark and lost places, I sought a further conversion and would seek again... EAch time, finding answers and having break-throughs but not able to end the cycles. I understand how the ego has a role of protecting me, defense mechanisms, and ensuring I am energized...patterns that developed very young to help me...but in development, I did not move forward from these patterns.

As Jeanne, Tolle, DeMello, Voglerl...O'Donohue all resound... awareness and clarity brings a deeper connection with our true self...I am going through the grieving process as I realize the impact my early egoic patterns have had on my life and let go of them as best I can with what understanding I have... These ideas have surfaced before and I have seen the ego but i hadn't understood that 'all' of my patterns were essentially a different side of my ego... I need to let it all go...

I can now see that even my goals for this journey are attached to an egoic pattern that I had set in motion before... finding my vision and a life's work...to some extent is still my ego wanting to have an outward 'theatre' to perform in...to win people over...to 'do my magic' with music...to be an energizer and be energized... Not that there is not a useful place for these attributes for my true life energy and goals..but for now, I think that the first step is just to become whole and balanced inwardly and then let the outward manifestation come later.

So..even in terms of these blogs... Essentially, they are all a plea on my part to engage your energy to support my energy needs... it is still my ego working its magic to sustain me, while they do share the experience..My intention was to discover a practice to open the flow of my true life's energy from God within... So.. by all means... truthfully, I am now over my head in challenges to my energy...Please do not stop praying for me... I know that all your love and energy is so important to my experience here.

But, At some point...maybe after I get past NZ and I believe the saiilng will settle down to something less intense... I want to be sure to meet my goals on this journey to truly indulge my self in being alone, truly alone... to find the solitude that can allow me to find a deeper communion in the quiet with my true self...

Keepin ON Sailinl On a Dream... Life is certainly a journey... I don't love it that I am such a slow learner, but it is wonderful to be here...perfect in this present momrnt... in presence. I am dreaming of balance and accptance... and a brand new capacity to be alive to my own true self, not the puppet of my ego...

Fairest of Winds and the Love of the Ocean Only Gratitude Donna

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