SailBlog

Last night was beyond frustrating and exhausting... the winds just would not settle into a pace or direction. Again, I felt I had to reef and unreef with the periods of higher winds. And then they would change 60*T... I would try to rest, but with each alarm, the boat was completely amiss either with course, or we would be way underpowered. If the winds gust...I am alerted to reduce sail moreso...but when they lull, if I am able to fall asleep, I won't pick up the change. I woke feeling we had made no progress... but over the whole day, with the good periods of sailing, we actually did cover the 120nm to go from 44*30' S to 42*30' S. The effort was worthwhile. We are still heeled a bit, but we are in a reasonable rhythm and moving well enough.

By dawn, the winds filled in more consistently and I layed down and fell fast asleep, not waking until nearly 1000...my time..that is remarkable...but I woke feeling exhausted, my head congested, and just sore all over, with a bit of morning vertigo..which I can get occasionally. It goes away quite quickly...a couple of hours. But it was almost impossible to get out of bed in the heeling. So...I determined that today had to be a rest day. I need sleep and to eat, hydrate, and relax. I went back to bed for a nap after breakfast.

The weather update from Bob McD suggested that the storm has deepened but gotten smaller, the max winds at 43*S now to be 45kts gusting to 60... another emotional blow, as 45kts of wind is significantly more than what i have been dealing with...and for 8 -10 hrs... gusting to 60 is ... huge. Yet, reports from Mike and the Buoy weather forecasts show a less dramatic picture... I am just hoping that they are correct, though Bob McD has real time satellite to work with... I have had lesser conditions than predicted before. But it has deepend my resolve to get farther north. IS is sailing better, and we have gotten north of 42*S by this evening. We may get to 41*30' before gale force winds get here...though the gale winds of the frontal boundary extend all the way to 36*S, still any distance from the center is less seas... higher barometric pressure, and somehow it is eased. And I think it may have eased the following WSW winds. I am believing the best.

Bob has passed on all the wonderful energy and prayers from those he spoke with today who are aware of this upcoming storm... it is working...I feel better this afternoon...was a rough morning, not feeling well and being in prep mode for a huge storm. And I am confident that IS and I will manage the gale ahead fine. The whole storm takes a while to vamp up so it allows some dissipation of anxiety I think.

I am totally on reserve mode, took a nap, and resting today...IS is really ready. I got the sea anchor accessible in case something unusual happens... breaks, so she is ready to go. otherwise, I did not change out my Genny as my shoulder is just not up to a huge sail change and I think we are going to fine with the furled Genny to a hanky.

It has been amazing to go from feeling so assaulted by the weather, be angry, intimidated, and then finally, as in the grieving process, accept the situation as it is, forgive the intrusion that it is, and go on forward...it has taken a couple of days, but today I am in preparation mode, not avoidance mode..not that this storm can be avoided... but I can avoid it in my emotions and block the Life energy that is there for me to access to get through the situation. I have spent hours wandering the few feet i can around IS, tears falling down my cheeks in absolute appoplectic angst that I have to get through these next days...and now the same tears fall, but they are resolving and a flow of Life that is giving me confidence and a peace that will let me handle the situation to come as it does... for real, not anticipation...but the real thing... in the moment finding the right energy, the right solution... the strength.

Though , Bob, suggested that I could tuck in behind Chatham islands to wait it out if it was too dangerous or I was not up to it... It is important that I give myself the options of stopping..I have to choose to go on, versus feel like I have to, as that would be dangerous. And at this point Chatham Islands are now behind me, but also much closer to the center of the storm, and would be even more dangerous... We have gotten far enough north to fair well.

I am going to keep this blog short as I am tired... The Huge Great Albatrosses have been out in huge numbers to day... 6 at a time... a storm is coming for sure. Time for my supper, the sun is starting its last hours of descent, one more night to get rest. I am going to bed early with the steady winds to lull me to sleep. Tomorrow morning it will begin to escalate, by afternoon the main down and secured... tomorrow night will be a wild ride, but we are north enough...it will be fine.

big hugs to all of you, my dear friends, new and older...those of you who I know as followers on the blog but have become part of my team. .. I so appreciate every moment you are giving of your self to me...Your energy is changing the outcomes.

Keepin On Sailing On Caring... This quote so shares my heart of desire for my life... to emerge. Who I have been through my life has always been a creative expression of what is within me...And through this upcoming storm, I am going to open my being to the 'gold leaf lining' I will find amidst the intensity, the motion, the communion I will find myself clinging to with my own Being, Life which is ME... encompassing all that I am... As much as you are all in my heart and changing the energy in my situation...I will face this storm alone. The only one who can respond to it or receive the special dispensation of Grace for it... And I will not be disappointed.

" Each of us is emerging in every moment. When we discover our creativity, we begin to attend to this constant emergence of who we are. Or creativity is excited by what is new, different, and concealed within us. While the outside world has long settled for who we are in terms of name, personality and role, when we creatively engage our life, we enable the signature, taste and imprint of our uniqueness to emerge. This is what begins to emerge when we come to the desk and look into the mirror of the white page. beneath that white page, in the stillness, a harvest of untouched possibility waits." John O'Donohue, Divine Beauty p.153.

Fairest of Winds and the Love of the Ocean Only Gratitude Donna

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