On Leaving "It" All Behind
08 November 2013 | Port Louis Marina, Grenada
Lynn
The cruising lifestyle is seen as one of "leaving it all behind". "It" may be the rat race, winter, land based responsibilities... whatever "it" may be to the person in question. Sometimes the difference in perception of the definition of "it" can create conflicts or problems.
For Ken and I, "it" is probably most likely winter and all of its' trappings. We don't miss winter boots, or slush, or runny noses. The secondary "it" is the higher cost of living in North America. Ken would have been retired by now one way or another, so the rat race wouldn't have been the same for him, but being unemployed for me, at my age, is certainly interesting.
Those who knew us before we left for cruising know that we got involved in things. Some people liked us for it, some didn't. We can be quite passionate about things, but we sincerely do try to do what we think is best for all, not just for our own self serving interests (however, if it serves our best interest as well, all the better!) Speaking for myself, I got that from my parents - they stood up for what they felt was right, even to the point of having some serious tete-a-tetes. Apparently the nut didn't fall far from the tree.
This passionate desire to actually have a positive influence on our community has followed us to the Caribbean. We have done some things that have helped the cruising community, big and little. It is our nature to want to help. This has, unfortunately, caused some people to develop a dislike for us in the cruising community. There has been evidence of that on our blog with one "contributor" who has delighted in making snarky and sometimes downright abusive comments in emails, comments, and Facebook messages (not that they have done much for the betterment of their fellows) There are builders, users and destroyers. There are a LOT of users and destroyers.
This is where the personal definition of "it" can be a problem in the cruising community (and I suppose in general). There are many cruisers who see "it" as all responsibility or need to account for themselves, or their behaviour. "It" can be the need to conform to some form of societal norm, or to respect the society they are in. Some feel that "it" is being polite and a decent human being, offering some respect to other people.
Cruising is, by its' nature, a rather hedonistic lifestyle. Sail from place to place, indulge in the finer points of an island, then move on when it becomes boring, not of interest any longer, or just doesn't meet the current needs for the cruisers. Add in the rather prevalent "it's 5 o'clock somewhere" attitude to alcohol, and it can be a lifestyle of a permanent weekend. No wonder it has such an appeal to many who call it "living the dream". Add in happy hours, sundowners in the cockpit, and all of the activities that cruisers indulge in, and yeah, it looks pretty darned good.
However, that "it" thing comes up. When leaving responsibility behind is a goal, there is a small problem. Commitment is now a tenuous concept - commit to a bus reservation? Why? It doesn't suit ME (but never mind the bus driver trying to make a living who had counted on your butt in that seat). When cruisers start bringing their own alcohol to bars because it suits them, there is a problem. The poor behavior of some cruisers starts to reflect on the rest of the "community", and when the prevalent attitude is "this suits me, I don't care about you" all the way from anchoring, wakes, dumping trash on beaches and generally treating your host country poorly, it is bound to have a backlash. Don't respect the Immigration laws (show up three weeks AFTER your visa is up?), don't interact with the local community and hang around "cruiser ghettos", but expect them to have a Coast Guard at your beck and call to when you don't contribute more than a couple of bucks to the economy (when you aren't BYOB'ing)? Are you kidding me?
This year, I have heard from many Grenadian friends and business people that the cruisers are a bunch of jerks. Honestly, I can't really disagree with them. Apparently they have an expression in Colorado "not everyone is meant to live upstream". It seems like there are a number of cruisers with no loyalty "living upstream".
When the stuff hits the fan and there are disagreements, many cruisers who have left responsibility behind or a social conscience (if they ever really had it), use the saying "just go sailing". You can't keep running from it, as the trouble may follow you anyway. This is a not a big community, and sticking your head in the sand may eventually get you kicked in the backside when what has been built for your benefit has been taken apart by the destroyers. If we all "just went sailing", who would operate the cruiser nets and Facebook groups, and maintain some of the things they have grown accustomed to? If everyone's "it" was responsibility and some kind of commitment to wanting to help other people, there would be no cruiser Hash buses, organized events, safety and navigation improvements or many of the other things cruisers have become accustomed to.
I can only hope that more people start to realize that their "it" can't just be for their own completely selfish ends.