Geoff and Anne (that's the puss 'n pup) are now the proud new owners of our beloved Skedaddle...the story that led to this unthinkable outcome unfolded something like this:

After returning from New Caledonia, Skedadaddle spent a year on the hard stand at The Gold Coast whilst we returned home to Townsville to tidy up our exit from our business interests, with an uncertain future after that.

The "tidy up" turned out to be not only a business exit, but an an exit from Townsille altogether! Actually, Janie had to drag me screaming and kicking away from "home" to where we now live here in.....(Excuse me for a sec whilst I chip another icicle from a testicle...it's been the coldest 2 days since 1995) here in Sydney, our new home.

Mental note to me: remind myself that we chose Sydney because
1. we love the place
2. son Andrew did find a fertile catholic lass (we're grandparents in 13 weeks, 3 days and 4 hours...and 2.5 minutes...woo-hoo!!)
3. it's easier to see more of prodigal son Tim who lives in Hong Kong.
4. And I can fulfil a bucket list dream of playing in a jazz trio in a Balmain pub with sticky carpet for beer money.

We've been here for 6 months. I realised I retired a bit too early, so I've got back on the horse as a business coach. It's working out very well actually, with my client book full for the foreseeable future.

So this semi-retirement/Balmain uber-life (catapulted from bogan to Chardy and Coffee set, thank you very much) has kept us very busy.... and it dawned on us that Skedaddle's most likely destiny was to detoriate on a lonely swing mooring....we'd only sailed her twice in all that time!

So, we rang Lightwave Yachts to see if they might have a spare buyer floating about....and within a few days, Skedaddle was gone. The sedatives are helping my Vendors Remorse, as is the comfort of not having to pay $20k+ a year to keep her insured and maintained.

So that's the story.

But hey, we're still "on the water"...Janie is researching a smaller boat with a key instead of a sail for Sydney harbour shardy seshions, & I'm racing my Laser sailing dinghy on Shunday afternoons from Lane Cove river amid the 2.1 million other boats on a sunny day.

...and I love training Elvis. Yes, we have a lovely cuddly Schnauzer puppy-wuppy. (He's having another bad hair day today on account of him looking like a bath mat gone mad)

SPOOKY! : note the date on the post below, and this post!

The last word.

I must tell you about the customs people...these were 2 ladies that came aboard to do the clearance paper work at Bundaberg customs. Really nice they were (unlike most female coppers in my experience).... And definitely well inside my Top Bird rankings range.

They were keen to ask Janie about the trip. I correctly assumed that what the wives say has been a marvellous source of entertainment for them. In fact, they were quite impressed that Janie hadn't already packed her bags, booked an airport taxi, and phoned a lawyer...as many apparently do.

Other couples ask them for a referral to a boat broker. End of the line stuff.

Others that have departed from Bundy for Noumea have cleared back in the next day!

Their best story though was the inexperienced Kiwi who (in NZ at the time) took his trailer-sailer for a day sail and couldn't get back to the ramp because he couldn't sail upwind...so he headed downwind and west....for Australia. Can you believe it! He needed hospitalisation by the time he arrived at Bundaberg.
Ahhh, this boating life.....

Whilst over there in New Cal, we got to know lots of yachties and their stories (the Sundowner tradition is alive and well aboard Skedaddle!)...Some had spent years bumming around the Pacific. Others were enroute around the world. Some would only motor, others would only sail. Some were running away from unhappy circumstances. Some were running into unhappy circumstances because they ran away....Others were green horns like Janie and I, interested in trying the off shore experience.

Best of all, some will become life long friends for sure.

We agonised whether or not to go on to Fiji, or head back home. Janie was homesicker'er then me, but I admit I'd had enough of New Cal. Anyway, we came home, with no regrets.

We both feel a tremendous sense of achievement. Actually, "relief" that we've finally done this Pacific cruise that we've talked about ever since our first date on a hoby cat all those years ago.

Now, we can move on.

But first, we'll have to wrench Buster back from his foster parent, son Andrew....there'll be a custody dispute, as we know Andrew has become as stupid as we are about the bloody cat. Janie insists that a DNA test should settle things.

A solution I'll remind Andrew of - again - is to settle down and pop out a grand child before I hit the zimmer frame years.

NOTICE TO ALL FERTILE, ATTRACTIVE, WEALTHY, SINGLE 30'ish CATHOLIC (strict) LASSIES.
We have an unattached, eligible, handsome (chip off the old block) son with a good career, GSOH, NS, enjoys social outings and good times, available now.

IDEA!! I'm going to rip off "Farmer wants a wife" and syndicate a new reality show called...."Ageing Parent wants a Grandchild".

For newbies to bluewater sailing like us, it's been an intense experience.

I worry most about stuff breaking that would immobilise the boat in the middle of the sea. That's why Skedaddle got a new prop fitted in Noumea on the port engine...I wanted to be sure we could motor sail upwind, or plain motor if becalmed.

Our wind generator died a couple of weeks ago, so we'd need the diesels to recharge the batteries that drive the nav gear, auto pilot, water maker and communications aboard Skedaddle. All essential stuff.

Anyway, on Day 2 the port engine wouldn't start...can you believe it!! I saw this as a bad omen and suppressed my dread....We could turn back and attempt to beat back to Noumea against a 3 meter swell in 20+ knots...that'd take 2-3 days and be like living in a washing machine...Janie would never go sailing again.

Or, stick with this wonderful trade wind and rely on the starboard engine for power generation to recharge the batteries.

I should mention that I was sea sick as soon as we left...not enough to incapacitate me, but enough to be despondent, apathetic and generally totally pissed-off...you know what I mean. Janie wasn't all that chipper either. Luckily, Eugene was fine. In fact, he did a great job and we were lucky to have him aboard.

So we messed around with the electrics, and found the fuse to the starter motor had blown. Fighting through my mental fug, I installed a spare, and tried again. That fuse blew immediately too. No more spare fuses.

What now? I recalled this quote....
"The smartest person in the room is the one that knows what to do next"...

...which was to leave well enough alone, since the starboard engine was fine, and the forecast still saying we'd sail with the wind behind the beam all the way home.

We were doing 8-10 knots with a fully reefed main and shortened head sail across a 3m+ swell with a sloppy wave on top in 20-25 knots. For us, this is fast and if we were day sailing, great fun. But it was almost impossible to move about the boat without both hands bracing something. Anxious moment #112 happened when Janie was thrown down the steps from the saloon to the the galley, crashing her thigh into the oven, and luckily not damaging the oven (joke).

Soon after, I was drenched when green water surged over the helm...it was time to slow down and get things a bit more bearable.

So we turned north a little to get the swell off the beam and run with it more. Much better, but soon anxious moment #732 happened when "a growler" (as Rick calls them...referring to a breaking wave)..climbed into the cockpit. Green water swirled up the port steps, swept across the floor then down the starboard steps, Janie yells...
"I could be on a plane right now you bastard!" ...I wondered why Janie was calling Eugene a bastard, since he's a really nice guy. Weird she is.

Most nights were squally...getting the main sail down in 30 knots at 2am in cold rain on a black night in 3 meter waves in the middle of the friggin' ocean ain't fun. This is the thing with cats...they can be easily overpowered because they won't heel over and spill wind like a mono. I eventually figured out that we should pull the main down at dark, then run on with only the Genoa...Skedaddle was often doing 6-7 knots like this, and was much more comfortable...and to shorten sail on the Genoa is easy to do using its roller furler.

There were squadrons of flying fish around the boat.... Each morning we'd do an emu parade around the decks chucking the kamikaze ones back into the sea...we counted 11 on one morning! ...these are the most fish I've caught in my life by the way!

We were 1/3 of the way accross. The decision had to be made to: turn left & south to Brisbane, or, sail on with Rumba into Bundy. We'd managed to stay in sight of each other for most of the trip, and I'm not embarrassed to say we all felt better knowing that we weren't totally alone out there. And Rick..who was single handing the boat home...appreciated us keeping lookout for him when he'd go below for a rare nap..(he had me in fits about the flying fish that hit him in the face...very pythonesque I thought...he named it Wanda).

Anxious moment #1412: day 3
....plink!
That'd been the sound the shackle pin that holds the genoa tack to the furling drum made as it fell out, just before it went into the sea (...for non-sailors that don't get the lingo, this is an important shackle that holds the head sail down)
It's a hex head shackle that can't be wired, and I didn't have a spare, and I'd checked the dam thing only 24 hours ago.

By incredible luck, I happened to be looking and actually saw the shackle fall...
"Eugene!" I yelled as I sped to the foredeck to retrieve at least the shackle before it too disappeared overboard...maybe I could bodgy up a pin with a screw.

But there's the pin...lying on the deck! Why it hadn't rolled overboard is a miracle. I gathered it up with a crazed, guttural snigger.."not so fast, you rotten little fucker!" I said as I held the pin skywards as a victor holds a trophy.

After a calming Bex and a good lie down, I put it back in really tight and that was that.

Day 4: the wind instrument dies. This isn't an "anxious moment" but definitely not a good omen. What was good though is that I started to chipper up. I hadn't eaten anything but a few Sao biccies for the last 3 days, and reckon I'd had only an hour or 2 of decent sleep. "Hoover" (aka Eugene), on the other hand, had devoured anything that wasn't locked down and slept like a log when not on watch.

Watches during daylight were shared by handing over responsibility to the person who was bored the most...No one was well enough to read or see a movie when not on watch, so the days were filled with slothing about trying to get some sleep, and hand-wringing....Nights though were rigid 3 hour watches..Eugene from 9, Janie from midnight, me from 3 am.

Speaking of hand-wringing, I must pay homage to the designers of the auto pilot. One of my biggest concerns was what'd happen if it broke down. Yes yes, I know we could hand steer, but my experience when we hand steered Get Smart from Brisbane to Townsville in a following sea...and how exhausting it was...is one I didn't want to repeat.

We crack the 200nm line...back in Australian waters! Woo hoo! We're aiming for the marker in the top of Fraser Island, and then...
...the wind dies.
The sea is still rough though, so Skedaddle wallows about with sails and rigging flogging. I reluctantly decide to slowly motor sail on the starboard engine until the forecasted wind returned. This was a big deal, because I was concerned the propellor problem might also occur on this prop too, meaning we'd have no propulsion apart from sail if it failed.

Happily, the wind returned after half an hour, and Skedaddle was again bounding through the swells with a 20 knot breeze over the port stern quarter. With one night to go, our spirits were lifting.

And what a long night it was. The wind had backed to the east and was right up our Kyber Pass... Catamarans hate running square to the wind like this. And the Great Australian Current, running at 1-2 knots southwards down the eastern coast, made it worse. By dawn, we'd gybed Skedaddle about 500 times to hold our line to the Fraser Island mark (awright then, it was at least 6). but there it was at last. Ahead was just a 7 or 8 hour run across the calmer waters of Harvey Bay into Bundaberg.

Our sea sickness had all but gone after day 3, so we were all in great spirits. Time to catch up on the calories as we sailed across the bay: How's this for sheer fookin' luxchrey..

Lashings of crispy New Caledonian bacon, runny fried eggs, fried tomato. Followed by:
Rich chocolate cake (Janie excelled again by baking this whilst the bacon was cooking)
Followed by:
Greasy New Caledonian roast chicken pieces (I excelled again by roasting these whilst we were eating the cake)

Hoover was in Heaven. Janie was giggling hysterically. I was feeling like Flinders..or Cook. Magellan even. Surely there'd be a media crush at the dock!
Even the wind instrument decided to work again.

We hadn't changed or bathed for 5 nights, and being concerned this'd cause the quarantine people to fumigate the boat, decided to shower before making Bundaberg. In any event, I suspected my jocks were a bit crunchy.

So I slipped 'em off, stood them up in the corner (I'd guessed right), then had the best, long, hot shower I can remember...being careful of course to leave a few seconds of hot water for Janie and Hoover.

Preened and perfect, we 3 partook of coffee on the aft deck with Bundy in sight. Then a rain squall and 30 knots descended upon us from no where..."Eugene! I know you're freshly showered in new clean, dry clothes, but would you mind going outside to assist me in dropping the main by swinging from your balls again at the boom, whilst I stay here in this warm dry helm station and press this naughty bad electric winch button?"

Half an hour standing in the winter wind dried him off.

We glide into the quarantine/customs berth at the Bundaberg Port Marina on one engine (better then none)
We're there. We left Port Moselle Friday at 2pm, and arrived 5 nights later on Wednesday 17/7/2013

Janie has a little cry.

"You bastard. You can do that again with your next wife".

As it turned out, most of the cruising gang we'd become part of had all migrated back to Port Moselle marina, so it was party time again...great fun catching up as we tried to out do each other with stories that got taller as the bottle got lower...(on my part anyway).

The weather window for a departure to Oz was looking good, so we readied Skedaddle with last minute repairs and provisions. Eugene was ready to come aboard as our crew for the trip. The moment was nigh.

Janie decided to get the heebie jeebies...
"Greg, I don't think I can do this crossing again...how do you feel if I fly home?"
We discovered that wives flying across to join gung-ho hubbies was quite common, and Lea had told her to do exactly what she wants and had nothing to prove. Anyway, I was keen for her to be part of the experience, and to her great credit, she put her fear aside and was aboard as we were waved off by a throng of well wishers...all that was missing was the streamers.

Rick was single handing Rumba back to Bundaberg and had departed an hour before us (Rick is the real deal, old man of the sea, master-mariner, Ancient mariner, old sea dog type guy...one of his funniest stories is when he was captaining supply freighters to the lighthouses on the Queensland coast, and was asked to pick up an un-hinged light house keeper who had become a seagull).

Our plan was to beam reach straight for Brisbane on top of this big high pressure weather system. Or, if it got too rough, to broad reach west , then bend south west to keep broad reaching into Brisbane. We'd be sailing in company with Rumba for about half the trip...its a big lonely ocean, so we were pleased there'd be another boat out there with us (as was Rick).

We ended up in Bundaberg 6 days later, all safe and well...landing an hour after Rick at the customs wharf in Bundy.

From an earlier post, you may remember Moose the dog. There was no way we'd miss a last visit.. He usually waits at the Ilot de Casey jetty for boats to arrive, but this time, no Moose.

So after mooring the boat near the jetty we went in search...no Moose, but campers from Noumea said he's fine, and last seen on the other side of the island escorting some other campers.They also said there is a caretaker of the deserted resort who keeps an eye on him. That's good. We left without Janie breaking down this time!

Last stop of our New Caledonia adventure was Ilot Amadee...it's the place the locals go to.

And at last, some good snorkelling...fantastic coral and fish life in fact.

A rolly night on anchor there, then a short sail back to Port Moselle in Noumea to meet up with friends and to say good bye.

...our New Caledonian adventure is coming to a close.

The Isle of Pines in an enchanting place, but today we leave for the North, planning to be in Noumea in a few days...and then, heading home.

As I write, it's just turned dawn ...and,believe it or not, it's not bloody well raining!!..a beautiful sunrise no less. A good time to reflect on our stay here me thinks. This is a selfish post written for me, by me, before I forget...so I won't be offended if you skip it.

Crusing about in small boats is a great way to meet other people. And sailing is great leveller too. We've all been frightened, been sick of maintenance, sick of being cooped up in a confined space with our spouses (not me of course!!), home sick, sea sick, hang over sick, sick sick. And without exception, all enjoy a drink on the beach at dusk on a still, warm afternoon. Yesterday it was a pot luck dinner for our last evening here on such an afternoon.

And people can be really interesting and surprising....like:
Simon the ex-copper who prefers to motor rather than sail, because its usually calmer and Julie likes it that way. What a sook I thought...until Simon mentions in passing that he'd sailed the boat from San Francisco..single handed!! Bloody hero he is.
...and Roderick and Yvonne, the retired Dutch cinema operators who are half way round the world on an 8 year odyssey. They'll soon set off for a 3000nm sail to Malaysia in their 40 foot boat. Wow!
...and at the the other end of the scale, Michael, a retired physicist and Swanee from America who love cruising but hate the passages, so they get their boat shipped as deck freight across the oceans from continent to continent.
....and Janice who flies in after Ken the business strategist and a few mates have made the crossing.
....and Tim and Lea who have ants in their pants and sail every time to everywhere.
....and the 2 fingered Rick the Claw, the retired trawlerman/tug boat driver. We were saddened when Glad called us from the Noumea airport to tell us that she and Rick were separating.
...and Dave and Laney, the retired chook farmers who've been dismasted at sea and still love cruising.
....and Geoff and the slightly screwy-but-loveable Kathy who likes to be called Katrina whilst in a French speaking place. I call her Special K, hoping it irritates her.

But how's this for a small world: we're looking for a 3rd crew for the trip home, and Ian back in Queensland mightn't be available because he's fallen in love. We dallied with the idea of taking a hitch hiker who wanted a free trip from New Cal to Oz, but not thrilled with a stranger in charge of the boat whilst I'm asleep off watch.

Anyway, over drinks and talking about cats V monos (a hackneyed topic), Eugene waxes lyrical about this 60 footer that is sailed by friends of his. I try to out-do him and mention Marty's big cat at the GoldCoast...
Eugene: "as in Marty and Jude??...they're friends of mine!! "
I knew he was telling the truth when he agreed the Marty was as tight as a fish's bum ( eg, Marty buys his red in 44 gallon drums that he decants into posh bottles).
Eugene: "I'm crewing for Geoff and Katrina, and looking for a ride home....know anyone?"
Talk about the Theory of Syncronicity

Time for breakfast then getting underway north.

Sniff.

It's been raining again for 2 solid days. Janie decides to check the latest French weather on the net at 11.00 am.... "GREG!! Meteo weather is all red for the area just north of us...it's at the highest alert...extreme caution...like a cat 5 warning...evacuate now because I think the system is moving south. OMG!!!"

Know that there's a hotel on the beach near us.

"I'm not doing this. I'm booking in, so join me if you want to. I AM NOT spending the night aboard in a gale!!"

Groan. So within minutes we were in the dinghy, aiming at Hotel Bugney. The dishes were still on the table, bed unmade, coffee still warm. Poor Skedaddle had been abandoned, just like the ghost ship..the Mary Celeste.

After having settled Janie into our cosy hotel room, I thought I should tell the other yachties in the anchorage...I had correctly guessed they didn't have Internet and wouldn't have seen this forecast. Everyone was very thankful and some moved their boats a few metres into safer water and let out lots of anchor chain to reduce the chances of dragging onto the rocks.

"May as well have a nice dinner since we're here" Janie 'suggested'. But the restaurant at Hotel Bugny was still closed for renovations, so we decided the 15 minute walk across the sand spit and down to the next beach to the other resort in the rain, at night, was worth it. What we didn't figure on was the complete blackness [apart from the constant lightning off in the distance] on the way home. ....no torch, and with many Bob Marley bad guy natives hiding amongst the forest.... man o man, fumbling our way back was really spooky.

Anyway, we're back in the room, thinking we should mask up the windows in preparation for the imminent tempest. Have you guessed what happened? Yep...nothing happened. The rain eased, the wind died, the thunder and lightning dissipated, the cloud cleared..a lovely night actually.

So next morning as we dinghy back to Skedaddle I hear "thanks Dickhead for causing mass hysteria in the anchorage!!" coming from several yachts. So I put a call out on the radio for sundowners on the beach at 5, featuring a public stoning of Janie under the palm tree near the boat ramp.

About 20 folks turned up, and all actually said thanks..better to be safe than sorry.
P.S. So did Tony and Joelle...he roared with mirth when I recounted my brief stint as "Greggles, the famous Mechanic of the South Pacific" and the missing prop story.

Bugger.

Having been amazed at Piscine Natural, we strolled across the sand spit from our anchorage for what I expected would be a ho-hum snorkel around this tiny island...this same snorkelling spot gets invaded by thousands (ok, hundreds) of tourists from the regular cruise ship visits.

Well, how wrong I was...I had trouble getting Janie out of the water! There's so many fish of every variety and colour that are fearless of people (on account of the cruise ship snorkellers I guess) that, if you float still, they'll come right up and nip at your skin. The water clarity and coral makes it feel like you're swimming in an aquarium.

We warmed up with coffee from the resort at the other end of the beach, then time for sundowners. Perfect.

...and fancy seeing Polly Parton there too! (or was it just the fisfh eye lens effect of my camera

I don't hear much these days about cubs and scouts, but I loved my years in the "wolf pack"...(except fearing the initiation old scouts gave cubs as they became rookie scouts...a good 'ol nuggetting with black shoe polish of one's hither to pristine nuggets was the norm).

Every Friday night for 5 years there'd be a meeting at the Scout Den that'd begin with assembly, where Akaela would lead our chant "Dib Dib Dib, Dob Dob Dob".

You may not know what this means.

Me neither.
....But it's something to do with "be prepared" I think.

So, aboard Skedaddle, I was prepared with all the tools and stuff needed to pull a slipping clutch from a sail drive gear box and fix it. There's an earlier post in this 'ere blog if you want to know the mechanical details.

Ken & Janice aboard Resolute were thrilled to know this, because Resolute has an identical sail drive, and a slipping clutch.

I said I could fix it, if we could find a vice on the island somewhere. We asked Mr Guy (the scooter dude), who said Tony from the boutique (who we had coffee with at the markets) had one at the back of his boutique. Now, why didn't I make that connection!... of course a boutique would have a vice out back!

Tony said no problem, and that apart from making trinkets for sale at the boutique, he also fixed outboards and could help with the job.

We decided that we'd spend all tomorrow at it, resolute that Resolute would be motoring off in no time with a gear box in perfect working order, courtesy of Greg, the famous Mechanic of the South Pacific.

Operation Clutch Crutch started first thing next day, and by sundown, we'd put it all back together, with no parts left over (in itself a miracle). Now, fire up the engine and test it! ....Janice reached for the champers ready to make a celebratory toast to my sheer freakin' brilliance. "Ole!! to Greggles, the famous South Sea Mechanic" she rehearsed.

"Whack her into gear Ken" I commanded.
Nothing. There was no movement at the station, zip. The prop didn't turn.

Janice's pupils shrunk to pin holes as she yanked the flute from my hand. Ken said..."but Greg, you said...how could you!" Janie yawned and said "situation normal....get a man in Janice".

So, I slept on it that night having theorised that the cadager that's attached to the thingemebob had become conflagerated because the floggabogga had mutated. Ken didn't agree, and suggested that if I actually dived under the boat and turned the prop whilst he observed the gear box, we could track down the problem.

So, impressing Janice yet again with a Jules Verne like preparation (I'd mentioned I was worried about The Bends) for a death defying, risky, exploratory dive amongst the sharks circling under the boat, I finned downwards. Resolute draws almost 3 feet, so you'll get how risky it was.

NO prop. Resolute was sans propellor!! It had fallen off..was unattached...lost...disconnected with the vessel!!

I was thrilled.

Ken, less so. What I didn't know was that the prop that had fallen off was brand new, and installed only a couple of weeks ago in Noumea.

And there I shall end this story, with the folk lore of "Greggles, the famous Mechanic of the South Pacific" sure to become a favourite story of future mariners as it's told down the generations.

Provisioning the boat is always an issue, so we were pleased to know that twice a week, the locals sell home grown produce at the Village called Vao...right beside an iconic Catholic church. We were there on a Saturday when a funeral was in progress and heard the most beautiful choir..the soulful pacific harmonies were mesmerising.

There's no bartering here....the boss lady of the markets (who was as wide as she was tall) yelled that all traders should "respect the prices"..in French. This was interpreted by Tony and Joelle (who run the Boutique in Kuto Bay) ...we'd joined them for a coffee after buying yams and local passion fruit.

Janie told me how that "ici une marche bon", means "you run a very good market"....so just before leaving, I fronted the boss lady with those words. "Merci Merci Monsieur" she said with a grin about 18 inches wide.

These folks are of Melanesian heritage (and hate being called Kanaks by the way), and still live a pretty traditional life. Tony explained that there's 7 tribes, with one big chief on the island. The emerging problem are the young men that don't want the traditional life, and are caught between "something and nothing" as Janie eloquently puts it. Crime is on the rise, with bootlegging and maruhauna growing becoming prominent professions.

Now deserted by Gemini Lady and Rumba who'd both left Kuto Bay for northern parts, we were looking for new drinking buddies. Happily, we discovered that Ken and Janice from RESOLUTE didn't mind a cold drink on a hot day. Or any drink on any day for that matter.

Ken knew the phone number of Mr Guy..the local dude that hired out motor bikes. So in stilted French, we hired a hog each for the day. Mr Guy seemed confused when I wanted his permission for Ken and I to have our moles on the back seat as pillion passengers.

Dam! I left my T-shirt at home that says on the back "if you can read this, my bitch fell off"...

It's a 2 km dinghy ride from Kuto Bay where Skedaddle was lying at anchor to this uninhabited little gem of the Pacific called Ilot Bayonaisse. So, we packed a hamper with egg and mayonnaise sangers, and a chilled white for a day snorkelling and sunbathing on its crystal white beach.

As we approached shore, a banded sea snake slithered down the beach into the sea. These are truly deadly snakes, but apparently can't bite anywhere but in between your fingers on account of having a tiny jaws...and other fleshy protuberances I suspected (thereby bringing a swift end to my skinny dipping aspirations).

So we set up our picnic on the grass verge of the beach under a scrubby tree. It wasn't long before we noticed another snake curled up under a nearby rock..."Gadzookes" she said (is that the right spelling? Or is it h.o.l.y. S.h.i.t ?) we counted another 6 or 7 of the blighters all within a cobra's strike range.

So we moved away a bit, and decided that they were too tired to worry about us and seemed happy to snooze on.

Soon the wine was emptied - time for another swim... only to have my calm karma quickly cancelled when Janie hollered.....

"I've left the hot plate on!!" ...she'd been boiling eggs just before we left.

Fire on a fibreglass boat...any boat...is something I fear the most.

So we chucked everything in the dinghy and hurtled across the channel at warp speed... no distant smoke. So far so good.

Soon we see Skedaddle peacefully riding to its anchor...Janie flew aboard....."Ooops. Turned it off after all. Silly me!"

Yeah, right.

I should've shut up. It's raining again. And there was a wind change forecast, so we uprooted our very well-set anchor in Kudo Bay and motored round to the point to the bay next door.

Yesterday, even though it was cold 'n wet 'n wet 'n windy 'n stuff was fun...it was Uta's birthday. We were delighted to be invited to share a lobster lunch with her and hubby George, Tim and Lea.

Fine friends, fine weather, at the magnificent Isle of Pines.
Happy days.


The thing with boating is that you can't plan anything too closely, because the weather traps you in the safe anchorages...and cabin fever can soon develop. But because the other boats are "in the same boat", its a great excuse to socialize...and form some lovely friendships, many of which will be lasting I hope.

And ain't it a small world. Ken and Janice live a few meters from our Balmain mooring in Sydney, so we'll be looking forward to seeing them more back in Oz. And their friend, Megan, is a physiotherapist. And since my gammy knee from a fall a few weeks ago is still sore, what a great opportunity to learn from her that amputation was not necessary (Janie had repeatedly told me this by the way).

On the left are Rick and Glad. Nice folks too. Rick's an old trawler-man, and tug driver, with a wealth of knowledge about the sea. Dry as an old boot.

Ok, I know this is meant it be a blog about boats.

And hair removal for men has nothing to do with boats I agree.

But during Sundowners the other day, the throng of boaters aboard Skedaddle were in tears of laughter as I read them the "customer reviews".

Click here, then, scroll down.

We're here at the iconic south pacific Isle of Pines.
I let the video do the talking...

Isle de Casey is sort of like Dunk island, in that there's a closed resort and amazing walks, jungle, amazing beaches....

But the dog, Moose, makes it a special place. Yachtie folklore has it that Moose was abandoned here by the last employee standing when the resort closed a few years ago....and lore says that his name is indeed Moose. (It could be Trevor for all we know).

As we ghosted into the anchorage, we could see him waiting on the jetty...truly ready to greet us. Moose was smiling as we stepped ashore. I'm certain now that dogs can smile. His eyes bade us to follow him....and off we went on a guided tour of the fantastic walking tracks through the jungle to the these wonderful iconic south pacific beaches, ushered and urged along by Moose the dog.

Moose reminds me of Skippy the kangaroo...you know how Skippy could explain the Theory of Relativity, relatively easily ?..with just a few "tiichts" "tiichts", right? Well Moose could do that and more. For example...
...I was sitting on a log, ready to enjoy an egg I'd just boiled on the campfire. Next thing, Moose does a hand stand, right in front of me... how did he know I had left my egg cup behind?????



Moose loved company. He seemed to be very happy, albeit marooned in his very own fiefdom. Janie (and I) became quite attached in the 2 nights we stayed on the island, and cooked up some tuna and rice for him. Our buddies, Rick, Glad and Dan on "Rhumba" cracked coconuts that he devoured.

It was truly sad leaving...Janie burst into tears as Moose, sitting on the dock, faded into the distance. We just hope that the national parks people or the locals on the mainland help him when he's too old to fend for himself.

Thank Heavens. We are NOT in Noumea. We're 30 miles south at the beautiful Bay de Prony...right on the southern tip of New Cal, and an easy 35 nm from the hither-to unattainable Isle de Pines.

It's like a mini Sydney harbour here, with heaps of perfect, safe anchorages. One of the best was at the head of the Riviere Du Carenage....because we could take the dinghy right up to the base of fresh water cascades and literally switch from salt to fresh water. The scene was a bit like Mount Elliot swimming hole in Townsville melded to a mangrove lined river. I kept expecting there to be crocs, stingers, snakes...and sharks. But the good news here is that there's none of these (ok, sharks, but none we saw)

And the water is clear and cool. Luvly.

Next day, we snorkelled on "The Needle", which is this 40 meter high coral pinnacle that soars upwards towards the surface. Eerie.

Next day, we moved to the bay of Prony itself, where the book said we could dump our rubbish. But we forgot to allow for the French bureaucracy who of course had the bins locked. The coral here wasn't much either.

But the next day, we moved to Isle de Casey. and met Brutus...

"Escape from Noumea", attempt number 2....

We were tacking into 20 knots right on the nose (yachties will know this is a bummer) and I thought if I used the powerful electric winch to tighten up that there head sail just by a poopteenth, our trip to would be shortened by at least 43 seconds.

BANG!! The sheet (aka rope) that holds the headsail tore away...meaning the headsail was flogging like crazy, and more...yes more... repairs required. After a few fruitless hours using my hand sewing awl, we decided we needed a sailmaker.

Back to Noumea, fork out hundreds of $'s, marina fees, yarda yarda.

Okay okay....This was all operator error I know. And for my new yachtie buddies that have reminded me of this, here's a little message for you!

Despite my disillusionment with suppliers of things here ranging from Big Macs to phones, Raoule at the haul-out was extremely helpful. As was the spectacular Audrey of Noumea Yacht Services....as was Adrian from Power Equipment in Brisbane...as wasn't the sassy little piece at the freight company.

The business operators here haven't figured out that apart from Nickel, the only other industry is tourism. Is it the stereotypical French aloofness, or plain apathy?

We arrived 14 days ago, and for most of that time, we've been in the Port Moselle Marina on account of the weather, and arranging the new prop. If I forget the omnipresent sewerage smell wafting from the raw sewerage pipe 20 feet from the pier, and the buggers that were sand blasting upwind of us (and the grit that henceforth covered out boat), it's a fine place.

Especially the social life...every afternoon its drinks with Belgians, Kiwis, Germans, French, Poms...and other Aussies of course. We've all got "the crossing" in common, and our stories to tell. Great fun really. I heard a neighbour singing to her guitar one afternoon...by dusk, we had a jam session going aboard Skedaddle with Lanie from SV Gypsy Lee!

And it this context, you'll get why 2 our of every 7 days for us is hard yards. Heard of the 5:2 diet? (Click here if you could give a toss). That's where for 2, non consecutive days a week, our calorie intake is limited to 500 cals for Janie, and 600 for me. and no alcohol. OMG!!!

Anyway, the new prop is on. For a rare change, things went as planned. Rick from S.V. Rhumba is an ex-boat-builder/trawler man/tugboat captain... his watchful eye as the French mechanic worked on our boat was much appreciated.

I should mention though that the mechanic's first impression of the problem was that the shaft was worn, meaning weeks out of the water and the end of our trip. Truly, I almost vomited. I told the interpreter (Raoule) to tell the mechanic to shut-the-f!*k-up and just to put the new f!*king prop on.

Then Rick said "are you sure the new prop you ordered is a right handed prop Greg?".... So I told Raoule to tell Rick to shut-the-f!*k-up and just to put the new f!*king prop on. What Rick didn't know was, that before I ordered the prop from Australia, I dived over the side to watch the bloody prop turn as Janie put the thing in gear from the helm (ok, a bit dangerous I know)...I was sure it was indeed a right handed prop. Nevertheless, I shed a private tear of relief as we motored off the haul-out trolley in the right direction!

Today, if the rain stops (can you believe it), we will head south to explore the Isle of Pines. Its billed as the most beautiful island in the whole South Pacific. Our sailing buddies, Tim & Lea, are already there...it'll be great to catch up with them.

Speaking of pines, Janie is spending a fait bit of time pining for home (wherever the hell that is!). I can't make up my mind whether I want to sail the South Pacific, or see Buster again. ...and we haven't seen anything that comes close to Lizard Island. hmmmm....

If you're not a boater interested in getting great weather forecasts via a satellite at an affordable price...then leave this page!!

...Click here for a quick start, and the full "How To"

And a late entry to this section is this link..excellent stuff from David Birch.
Your text to link...

Ian B, our plumbin' buddy from Birsdsville cum yachtie (weird, eh), was a very welcome 3rd crew for our trip across from Oz. We first became friends up at Lizard Island.

Anyway, we were arguing about an unnerving, new vibration that appeared (@ 2 am of course, about 200 nm out from Noumea). I was certain it was a prop slopping on its shaft...Ian was certain is was a rigging resonatiion....in calm seas the vibration disappeared.

Well Ian, I wish I was wrong...the port prop is indeed wobbly on the shaft on account of the internal bushes wearing a groove in the thrust plate. So with the usual muck-around, a new prop is enroute, and the boat will be hauled out for an hour to swap the old for new. B.reak O.ut A.nother T.housand (if only that's all it was going to cost!)

Noumea is a strange place by my very narrow experience. Very run down, disorganised but highly bureaucratised, which leads to endless, head banging frustration. Trying to get data enabled connection has proved to be almost impossible and had Greg and friend Tim almost weeping.
THEREFORE, here we are tapping away on our IPads at Maccas!!!!

I've given up trying to have a gorgeous, French pastry and coffee all at the one place. Patisseries are patisseries and never the twain shall meet. Could make a fortune here, combining the bloody obvious.

Noumea is also an uneasy mix culturally. There is obvious resentment from the Melanesians towards the Europeans, and large groups of itinerants are everywhere, especially around the marina. I was late back one night ( 5.30pm and pitch dark), only to find the marina was out looking for me and the police had been called. EMBARASSING!

Using zebra road crossings is a puckering experience....we've figured out that if there's a Bob Marely look-alike behind the wheel, the already low chances of the car stopping are further reduced...we suspect to zero.

Anyway, we're out of here in a couple of hours and going out to some small islet anchorages for about a day or two before the weather turns to nasty. Then back into the marina until it clears. We'll probably hire a car with Tim and Lea and explore for a bit. We've heard that we don't know the meaning of frustration until we try to hire a car. Breathe!!!!!!

We are now coming to the realisation that we are no longer in Aus, with all the conveniences and facilities that we take for granted. We are in an odd no mans land caught between something and nothing - we just haven't worked out the boundaries yet.

Ok fellow boaters...if you've got the tremors from being disconnected, here's how to get Internet in Noumea using a SIM card. You're probably reading this blog using Internet via free wifi at Maccas maybe...or the Port Moselle Marina if you've just arrived in Noumea.

Know that getting data..as distinct to voice...is a big deal here. Noumea is well behind Australia when in comes to mobile internet...eg, what you won't see are people peering into smart phones 24/7 (not such a bad thing). Nor do all the phone shops sell iPhones (one retailer told me she tried, but they were too much trouble!)

Buy a Liberte SIM card from a phone shop...there's one beside the big pharmacy near the Port Moselle Marina with a moody lady at the counter...but her English is excellent. You'll need your passport.

Dial 55555 to activate Liberty SIM card.
Comes with 3000xpf credit. (about AUS $30)
To confirm acc balance, call 1088

You'll now have a new phone number that folks from home can call you on and you can dial out from. ...create a new contact for yourself, with your number being +687, followed by your new local Noumea number...you can text this to folks at home so they can call you if needed.

To recharge your credit:
Buy a prepaid 1000xpf, 3000xpf, or 5000xpf Liberte card from any service station...ask for a "recharge card"
Call 1088,2,enter 14 digit number on card to recharge.
Recharging over the Internet isn't possible as far as I know...so before you leave port for the anchorages, make sure you have pre-purchased the Liberte Cards you think you'll need.

To confirm acc balance, call 1088

At this point, you've got voice all set up. Easy. But to get Internet access, follow these next steps.....

Set up iPhone:
- Settings, general, cellular...scroll down to Cellular data network, set APN wherever you see it to: 3G

To get Internet:
For 1 hr, unlimited data, send a text message with IDM in the body, to 1110....cost is 100xpf to your balance.

For 20 mb, 24 hrs expiry, send a text message with IDM in the body to 1120 ....cost is 210xpf (about $2) to your balance.

for unlimited data, 24 hrs expiry, send a text message with IDM in the body to 1111...cost is 420xpf (about $4)

This means:
Batch the internet tasks (eg email), then set up enough time to process the batch....say once every 3 days.

Pretending you never used up your re-charged credit on voice calls, then a 5000xpf recharge card = 10, full unlimited Internet days. These are the days to Viber or Skype home, as its probably better to use the Liberte credit on Internet rather voice for long calls.

Now, before you get too excited, sometimes you can wait hours (so for, 18 hrs is my worst wait) for a response to your SMS request for Internet time.
Oh well. C'est la vie...this is Noumea.


P.S.
Since trying to use your on board wireless router would mean forever pulling the sim card from it to a phone (so you can set up internet access each time), then inserting it back into router, I've decided to simply hotspot the iPhone. (Which is a dam shame, because our router connects to a brilliant 3G mast-top antenna)

I wish I'd read this post before leaving...an excellent article from the Rocket Guide folks about Internet to NC
Your text to link...

Well. we're here. Quarantine haven't cleaned us out, customs says we haven't imported anything bad, and immigration finalised tomorrow.

But before all of that, first job was getting the starboard dunny fixed...which it now is, along with the pre-requisite splashing off pooey water. He'll, I don't care.

We are here! Woo-hoo!!

it's 4.30am...and I'm feelin' a bit chipper! The pass through the barrier reef around New Cal is only 50nm ahead, then another 2-3 hours through the channel to Port Moselle...and we'll be there.

Yesterday was Janie's birthday, which is my excuse for forgetting to send the afternoon GPS coords, on account of the celebratory happy hour aboard Skedaddle. We decided the venue should be the foredeck, so we could enjoy the blessed flat seas, crystal blue sky and warm sun. Really nice.

We started motoring early yesterday, and have been ever since. Gemini Lady dallied with the idea of chasing a gossamer of wind instead of hoisting their "iron sail", but must've smelt the same French coffee and croissants as us...so we'll arrive together. Which is also really nice.

it's 4.30am... it's been a moonless night with rain squalls around us and 20kts from dead astern. Gemini Lady is a few miles behind.... if we keep our speed at 7.5kts, we'll both make the customs wharf in Noumea on Wednesday arvo...sounds good to me.

Despite another forecast of light southerlies yesterday, it was a sailors dream day...15-20 knots, deep reaching, in 2 meter seas, with the spinnaker driving the boat along at 8-10. all day. A rare opportunity to get video like this happened when Gemini Lady and Skedaddle were side by side...


But the big news today, is that it's Janie's birthday !!...and yes...I did remember to buy a nice prezzie before we left.

noumea is 217 nm ahead.....no moon, eastern sky lightening..laden soon.

it's 4.15 am...not so much fun. Yesterday afternoon and evening was pretty ordinary...rain squalls all around us for a few hours, and some lightening too..but none close to us thankfully. Man o man, I'm pleased we're sailing with Gemini Lady nearby, because we've seen only one other ship for the last 2 days...and that was on the AIS/radar.

Winds have dropped to 10 knots right up our Kyber Pass...cat sailors will know how miserable this is, so at dawn we'll re-start shallow gybing down-wind...the head sails have been up and down like a whores drawers all trip.

Noumea is 360nm ahead, bearing 39 degrees mag. Should arrive weds night or Thursday morning.

it's 4.30 am...yesterday was ok, despite seas at 3m+...thankfully, we're running with them. I didn't get the other dunny fixed because the aft one is fine...and it's too rough to dick about if it ain't necessary. As was, finding the source of this loud "click" that made sleep in our cabin impossible. The 3 of us grovelled around th floor near the centre bulkhead and decided it was the door frame...out came my Renovator tool...5 mins later, no click. yae!

after leaving coffs, we tracked east until late yesterday along 30S then turned NE yesterday at dusk...pointed pretty well at Noumea.
Figuring we'll arrive Thursday morning...abject to the weather.

Having Ian as the #3 crew has been terrific.

it's 4.30 am...Coffs is 150nm behind us. ...Motor sailing through th night after some food winds yesterday. The plan is to keep sailing east for a bit longer before cutting a left to Noumea. I suspect though that we will still run of wind by Monday.
We had dolphins on the bow yesterday morning, terrific weather...apart getting caught with the spinnaker up in 24 knots! Puckering moment getting the dam thing in.

Janie's ok...and tucked up,asleep at the mo.

First job after sun up is...wait for it... Fix the figgin' toilet!!

...and rarin' to go!

As I write, Coffs is dropping away behind us. Ahead..1000nm ahead...is Noumea.
It's great to be finally away.

Janie's been terrific..oops..I meant to say terrified...but now we're away, she's happy. And brave.

The past few weeks have been frenetic with preparation...a thousand little jobs..and some big ones...to get Skedaddle ship shape

...and to prepar for 2 or 3 months with rare Internet. iWithdrawl setting in.
God, I'll have to read a paper book.
And if this glorious weather holds, we've got plenty of time for that.

I'll use the sat phone to post an update each day, and you con follow our progress by clicking on the map below....if technology doesn't get in the way, I hope my updating system works!

checked the moorings here at Coffs late last night...dark...not looking...I walked right off the end of the dock! SPLASH!! I didn't realise my upper body strength was good enough to haul my wet arse up the side of the dock without the oysters cutting my tum tum.!

Anyway..at last..we head off Friday (tomorrow)...lots and lots of last minute stuff.

...I'm off to the loo for my FNP.

well, here we are after a typical bumpy ride up to Coffs....waiting for a weather window...could be Friday.

I'm not sure whether to be frightened or excited, because it looks like we'll be leaving Coffs next week for New Caledonia!! .....Our first blue water cruise.

There's no doubt in Janie's mind though....she's terrified. But stoically refusing to fly to Noumea.."if Skedaddle's going, I'll be on it!" she bravely says.

The plan is to sail in company with our friends, Tim and Lea on Gemini Lady. That's comforting. With a bit of luck, the weather will allow a stop over at the spectacular Middleton Reef...300nm east of Coffs, then another 600nm or so to Noumea....about a week at sea I'm guessing.

Click on the map below to see our position (as at the post date)

Well, we made it to the Gold Coast 6 weeks ago. Since then, Janie's spent a couple weeks in Sydney, triggered by #1 son Andrew's 2 week hospitalisation with pneumonia (boy, was he crook).....and I just returned from a week in Hong Kong with #2, Tim. I penned some Chinese thoughts at the airport to cap off a great week. Click here for a quick read, or to read it quickly.

Christmas with Mum, sister and extended family was fun too.

We're looking forward to heading south, Sydney bound...looks like there's a weather window coming up shortly. It'll be great to out on the seas again...

They say...
that boaters should never have a date that they have to be somewhere at. It's okay to have to be somewhere with no specific date though. The idea is that having a date and a place, forces travel when the weather is dangerous or unpleasant.

And speaking of pleasant, about the most pleasant sailing we can have is 10-15 knots from any direction that's behind us. Then, we have "Purple Knickers" out (the spinnaker), and with the boat on auto-pilot, kick back on a magic down-hill ride... our only chore being to watch for weather and obstacles.

..Such as whales. Thank Heavens the bloody things have returned south already. There seems to so many more of them these days. In fact, I think a cull is appropriate. And platypuseseses. Platypussi are quite tasty you know, and live-exports to Asia could help our flagging terms of trade to boot.

Anyway, we had a beautiful down-hill sail along the coast from the Whitsundays with Purple Knickers proudly off the bows, without needing to dodge a single croc, platypus, or whale. No seals either.

But we've been hanging around here for too long now waiting for more northerlies to blow us down the coast...which still could be a week or so away. Since there's easterlies due tomorrow, and since I'm fidgety, that'll do. We'll motor sail eastwards till we get a sailing angle to the south.

Our plan is to leave at dawn on Saturday, and do a 200 nm leg (an overnighter) down to Harvey Bay/Wide Bay Bar, then it's only another day or two after that to the Gold Coast for Christmas with the family.

Well, hello again to all my fans following the blog. I hope you are both well.

After Lizard Is, everything seems a bit ho hum. Even the Whitsundays. But then again, I could be a bit snobby on account of the infestation here of charter boats that have hemmed us in at Cid Harbour (on Whitsunday Island)...there's 30 knots outside, so it's nice to be cosy at Cid.

Anyways, our 2 weeks in Townsville turned into a frenetic 3, with more "unscheduled" boat repairs and excessive drinking with old friends. I'm not sure if we left 2 or 3 weeks ago, but I know for sure that we're not there. Because we're here...at the Whitsundays. The plan is to spend Xmas with Mum and the rest of the family at the Gold Coast, then to Sydney Harbour for summer, then north again in winter, diverting to New caledonia on the way.

Son Andrew and his lovely new girlfriend, Denyse, spent 3 nights with us. We'd been eagerly anticipating their arrival...Janie was particularly keen to check that she was able to look after her little Andrew...(Denyse, you passed with flying colours..Thank heavens for that I say).

The other highlight of our stay here at the Whitsundays was my successful repair of the poopy-pipe valve. The inevitable shit-spray I cop when disconnecting the actual poo-pipe wasn't too bad this time, so my clothes didnt need incinerating. Acid wash 'll do it.

And snorkelling. That was pretty good...at the top of Hook Island especially.

So we leave here as soon as this southerly stops howling...in a couple of days I expect. We can't wait to get that crappy stretch from Mackay to Yeppoon over with. It's a long sail, in usually crappy seas caused by wind against strong tidal currents. Maybe we'll do an overnighter.

Janie 'n me are sad that our our 2 month adventure north to Lizard is ending.
(I suspect Buster may have a different view)

Looking back, going north to Lizard via Cairns, then coming back along the reefs and islands was a great way to do a "round trip". Others have told the weather rarely allows spending much time on the reefs...we're lucky I guess.

But Townsville beckons. Actually, it'll be good to be home for a couple of weeks before we head south again to Sydney.

So, here we are, holed up at the Palms waiting for a 30 knot blow to pass. Then, it's a short 35 nm hop back to the Breakwater Marina in Townsville.

Can't wait for xmas at the Gold Coast with family, then hanging out with our sons in Sydney until next winter...then who knows where our adventures will take us.

Hope you enjoyed the blog.

After Port Douglas we overnighted at Michaelmas Reef. What an awesome snorkelling spot...it's off cairns, and like all the off-shore reefs, the anchorage vary from awful to "get me out of here" if there's any wind. But seeing a couple of giant gropers, and the off reef shark, made it all worth while.

Next day we anchored at the beautiful Green Island a few miles east of Cairns. I've always imagined the place to be a bit ho-hum, but after walking around it and enjoying a nice lunch with boatin' buddies from Lizard, I'd say it's a pretty good tourism spot. Lousy anchorage though..we rolled all bloody night.

A short, lovely sail south to Fitzroy Island. Once again, the anchorage was a bit rolly, but the winds died and we had 4 idyllic days anchored off the resort. Every boatie in Cairns also decided to join us, so by Sunday, there was barely swing room in the bay.

Let me set the scene: it's early afternoon, crystal blue day, soft cool breeze, ...and all boat jobs done. Time for a swim, then sundowners we both agreed! In the darkest corner of the cooler, I find a bottle of Wyanga. It's a cheap n' nasty sav blanc we bought from a winery whilst Skedaddle was in Gippsland Lakes. It packs a punch too!

Janie knocked off most of the bottle single handed, so what do boatie's do at dusk ? Karaoekeeeee!


(Janie insists that it's the camera that has added a few kilos)


Do you think her "morning after" disguise worked? ..... Skedaddle skedaddled out of the anchorage, pretending not to notice the looks from other boaters as we slid past them to the open sea.

Ever since weve been together..for all those years.., we've played scrabble.

And she regularly whips me. I forgot to mention in my earlier post that Janie.."she"..won the "Lizard Lashing" series 14 games to 10.

But the return trip to Townsville series..the "Townsville Trashing" is something I'm quite optimistic about...scrabble nutters will appreciate my brilliance...the "Q" in top right corner is on a double letter, both ways, one of which is on a triple word. Very nice.

Scrabble nutters will also appreciate there's some ruthless strategies in the game...I reckon Janie invented a few of 'em, so my rare wins are to be celebrated.

Our weapons of choice these days are our iPads...although we both miss the fun of the lucky-dip tile bag.

P.S. On reading this post Janie reminded me that it's in fact, been 36 years...my how the time flies when you're having fun. I think.

After 4 weeks of 25 knot winds at Lizard (it topped 37 knots one night), the trade winds abated to 10-15 ESE, meaning a flotilla of boats - including Skedaddle - could head south.

Einstein came up with the formula e=mc2...right? I had an ephinany the other day whilst watching a science show - "Catalyst". I actually now know what this formula means. In fact, I'm thinking of taking up quantum physics as a relaxation hobby. In the meantime, I've tried to come up with an earth shattering formula myself. Here it is:
2 blokes + 2 boats = 1 race

With this in mind, I knocked myself out for hours trying to outpoint this dude in a mono who left an hour or so before us. Janie thinks I'm a purile, shallow, egotistical person who's lost the real meaning of life. Well, I haven't, because the big news is....I WON!! Yae for you Greg!

The other highlights of the 4 day trip south included a night on "Ribbon reef #5". Okay, so it was calm, but we're still anchored amongst bommies that'd sink us in a trice if we had to exit the anchorage in the dark. We hate reef anchorages. So next day, it was a lunch time snorkel on Irene Reef, before overnighting at Hope Isles.

Then another magnificent sail south on a crystal blue sea to Low Isles where we hooked up again with boatn'buddies from Lizard.

..and here we are again. At Marina Mirage, Port Douglas.
Janie is showered, powdered, perfumed, and primed. Note the de-holstered credit card. OMG!!

To take advantage of the sublime weather, the plan is to head back south along the reefs to Dunk island, so we'll miss Cairns and come in around Dunk Island I 'spose.

Lizard Island is located in a parallel universe I'd say. On one hand, we're miles from anywhere in remote paradise....but you can buy a pizza or fish and chips from the resort's staff bar (the Marlin Bar) on Fridays and Sundays nights.
And beer.

For a gold coin, you can dump your rubbish. For boaties without a desalinator, you can refill fresh water from a tap.

A short dinghy ride round the corner takes you to the friendly research station. It's an impressive set up, run by nice people (we bought a duck there. Yes, a duck. Apparently, someone over-catered for a function and bought too many frozen ducks.)

There's some folks that spend 6 months anchored in the bay...they live here during winter!!

If you're the social type, there's the famous "Sundowners on the Beach" - that's the high-octane version of 2 blokes gobbing off on a bench. You see, there can be up to 60 (!) boats moored in the bay, many of whom enjoy a cold drink funnily enough. Lizard can be a very social place if you want it to be.

Or not. There's secluded beaches, terrific walks...and you can swim from the boat to snorkel over the clam gardens if you like!

We'll be back for sure.

Buster, being a cat, loves chasing Lizards...so he was thilled when we first told him we were headed to Lizard Island. What he didn't figure was, that James Cook should have named it Really Big Goana Island...the ones here'd eat him in one gulp!

So, instead, we had to find other ways of entertaining Buster...

Stu'n me and a couple of the wives were contemplating snorkelling a little more out from the beach than usual. Suzanne..."I'm not worried: man-eating sharks don't go after women, only men...that's why they're called man-eaters, stupid." she said.

"Oh...then you'd be terrified of box-jellyfish Suzanne I guess?"

Well, Stu laughed and laughed he did. Suzanne's still a little cool.

This snorkelling anecdote is told merely as a segway into one of my inventions...

The Bucket Breather!

I invented it when I was 13, then member of a skindiving club in Townsville called The Dolphin Club...about 20 members I recollect. All of whom had the real-deal aqualungs. I was the pimply kid with only a snorkel.

Bastards....I'll show 'em.

So from my loins sprung the Bucket Breather.

Here's a pic...(my original invention never took off for some reason, so I've had to photoshop it to illustrate its ingenious design. Note the tube from the top to a hidden mouthpiece, and arm straps.)

To get the full effect, imagine the deep end (10 feet) of the public baths - Tobruk Council Pool it was. This was where we trained in between real outings on the reefs around Magnetic Island. It was in 1968. Then, home pools didn't exist so the public baths were very popular....meaning lots of people witnessed my descent to the deep.

Anyway, the theory was that air trapped in the pocket at the top of the bucket would give me a few good breaths before it became too stale to breathe. The borrowed weight belts were needed to keep me sunken on the bottom.

I soon learnt that the exact number of available breaths before one fainted was precisely one...... just before I fainted! In that instant, I deftly un-clipped all of the weight belts, and shot to the surface like a missile launched from a sub....out of the pool I went, arced over the fence, and landed on the road where I got run over by a bus.

Okay, that last bit about the bus wasn't true. But the rest was!

Janie and I have sailed in Cleveland Bay around Townsville for 40 years (almost), and I've never seen a shark...Janie'd say she's seen dozens...and more recently heaps of crocs too..She reckons that anything not identifiable as something other than a shark or a croc, is bound to be a shark or a croc....with a negligible possibility that the sighting could be a stick.

At Low Isles, just off Port Douglas, I swam with one (a shark, not a stick) ...to be precise, it was a just reef shark...When I say "I", mentioning the 200 day trippers from Port Douglas who are snorkelling near by puts it in context. But did they almost pat the tame green turtles, feed huge bat fish from the back of a boat, or see huge cods swimming about? What about a stingray that was at least 6 feet long?

After 2 nights swinging off a safe public mooring amongst the reefs (read worry free sleeps), we departed for a 50 mile run up to Hope Islands....after that, one more stop at Cape Flattery, then Lizard!!

We decided to skip Cooktown because of the 8' tides that were predicted to cause strong currents in the crowded river anchorage...just the sort of anchorage we hate!

Hopeful our next stop at Hope Isles was going to be just as good as Low Isles was, well..hopeless. A nice sail there, but it's a tiny, windswept atoll....15 minutes is all it took to walk around it. I was ready for a dip until I saw the "Crocodiles inhabit this island" sign. They scare the bejesus out of me. We spent the night on a swing mooring again, and headed off next day for our last stop before Lizard at Cape Flattery.

The winds topped 27 knots ....that's about 40kph. Testosterone laden young men would be thrilled. But since I left some of mine back in last century, lots of wind means lots of strenuous sail handling...for Janie too.
Skedaddle's top speed was 13 knots at one point, which is great in a race, and bloody nerve wracking and boat wrecking if you're not.

And this as well:
It's in these conditions that hero sailors put their wives off boating, which is why so many boats spend their days tied up rusting in a marina. Janie and I always ..er.."discuss" ... the conditions and what sails should be set. She, as the work-place-health-and-safety officer has the last say. Following her decrees, I spend the next hour cleverly seducing her into hoisting a wafer-thin handkerchief that would increase our speed from this crawl. (note here from Janie:- a full genoa and double reefed main DOES NOT constitute a "wafer thin handkerchief' thankyou Gregory.)

And so it turned out to be a nice down hill run at a comfy speed of 8 knots to Flattery.

An easy night there, then just a 20nm run to Lizard Island next day.

What a glorious place it is!...here's some rapid and rabid clips (Buster features at the end)..turn the sound up (and apologies for the wind noise)

No time to read all this gumpf? Okay then...
I'm well, Janie's well. So is Buster. He sends his best wishes.

Curious about what it's like on board when we are at sea?
Turn the sound up on your computer, and
click here.., and click here. (I amuse myself with this rubbish by the way)

Want more?
This is an index to each post in Skedaddle's blog.

Are you an industrial chemist/chemical engineer type? Is too much banal data barely enough?
This link...talks about mechanical stuff...this for you.

Panting for more?
This link... takes you to the very start, and you can struggle back up through every newer post from then, till now, using the "newer" link at the bottom of each page.

Creaked out of bed this morning, ready to do last minute stuff and final provisioning for 6 weeks (maybe we'll get stuff from Cooktown too)

Such as 84 mini sized Crunchie Bars...that's 1 each, for 6 weeks...a "must have" nightly treat with coffee. So important in fact, that they are legal tender aboard Skedaddle.

Whilst me and the HWS were battling it out yesterday, Janie was pack-horsing stuff from the shops to Skedaddle. She can carry her own weight in groceries.(and that's a lot of p'taters)

And here we are, anchored off Double Island. Apart from the anchor chain jamming in the windlass gypsy during deployment (which meant pulling the windlass apart of course), everything's peachy.

Port Douglas is the plan for tomorrow....

Can you believe it?*!...I mean can you really bloody believe it..
...we were due to leave for Lizard tomorrow.

But the HWS decided to spring a leak. On the face if it, this doesn't sound too bad. Until it dawns that getting the bloody thing out of the hole it's in so repairs can be made is a real struggle. It'll take most the day I expect.

Speaking of what I expect, I'm thinking that my expectations are wrong. Mine anyway. Janie manages this stuff better than me.

Note to me: roll with the punches. The delay isn't going to cause us to miss any window of opportunity when I think about it.

I'll attack it the morning with a positive mental attitude and let you know how I go....and with that attitude, what could possibly go wrong!

----------------------------------
Okay, it's the next day...I started the job at 5.30 am, and finished it 12 hours later. The mission was to empty its 60 liters of water, then lift it out of the "hole of pain and suffering" it was installed in, then pressure test it on the dock with the garden hose to find the bloody leak.

I did that, and found a cracked weld. Some super snivelling arranged a welder to do it straight away in his shed...so, I hauled the HWS into a taxi (unusual load the driver said), and for $20 got the weld done.....pressure tested it again back at the dock...perfect! All that was left was to reinstall it in the "hole of pain and suffering".

I did my usual jerk around with the plumbing fittings that in theory, should have gone back onto the HWS exactly as they'd come off. They never bloody well do!

But they finally yielded after a couple hours of severe verbal rants. (I'm always amazed at how f*#kin' versatile the word f#*k is!).

It works!

A few days before we arrived in Cairns, we decided the nagging oil leak in the starboard gear box should be fixed after all. The Yanmar mechanics were available in Cairns, and said it'd be an easy job. Which it was, 'cept for the dude that did the work buggered an engine mount.."not my problem...the boat mount is faulty, and you'll need to find a Shipwright...don't run the engine until the mount is fixed. Bye."
I stewed all bloody night. I'd had a gutfull of fixing things on the boat. And the mounting was fine before he messed with it. Anyway, to the credit of the business owner, he attended early next day with the right tools and fixed the mount in half an hour.

Learning note to me:keep trying to do it myself. After all, my career in sales and management places me very well to be a mechanic, plumber, dunny fixer, electrician, sail maker, rigger, carpenter....(actually, the rare occasions when my DIY repairs actually go to plan are very satisfying)

We've had a great week in cairns....Caught up with our long time friends Ben and Bev at daughter Kate's cool engagement party.
What was really cool though was.. sipping red wine, in a bean bag, on lawn, right beside an "unplugged" blues duo, at the Salt Bar.
... At dusk.

Then strolling the 50 meters back to Skedaddle.

Janies gone all earth-motherly, with her new bread maker and...wait for it...a mung bean garden for the boat. I associate mung beans with hirsute, sweaty ladies in calico sarongs, not high-maintenance trophy wives!

We have been kissed on the bum by the weather fairy.

Fantastic sailing weather....


(P.S. I'm fishing for comments..see link below this to right).

Anchoring in tidal creeks, like the one here at Mourilyn Harbour (just south of Innisfail) is a pain...especially when the other boats are on moorings. What happens is this: Skedaddle does graceful dance around a 30 meter radius of anchor chain, while the moored local boats do jigs around thier mooring. So we almost bump into them.

Actually, this fits with the way I like to dance...I need lots of room. Or more accurately, those around me make sure they give me lots of room! This is something "Steady Eddie" and I have in common you know (in case you've forgotten him, Steady Eddie is the stage name of a courageous Australian comedian - Christopher Widdows - who hasn't let cerebral palsy beat him...he's well worth a google by the way). I love this gag of his:I won the dancing competition at disco the other night. What a surprise! I was just going to the toilet!

I'm mucking about with videos...this is the trip north from Dunk Island

We arrive in Cairns later today. Touch wood.
.

As I type, we're a rockin' and a rollin' in our allegedly "should be calm" anchorage at Dunk Island in a 20 knot southerly. Why am I surprised? We've used up our ration of fantastic weather over the last week, topped off by lively (9 knots is lively for us) broad reach from Hinchinbrook. The forecast says it'll settle down this arvo...we'll see.Here's the trip so far...

Well, the wind settled and the sun shone...4 idylic nights at Dunk. What a lovely island...Yesterday I decided to binge eat oysters for lunch...straight from the rocks! I followed that up with pizza and cake from Geoff and Marie in the boat next door, some white wine, red wine, rum...and a beer.

I have PROMISED myself an AFD really soon!

Janie loved Dunk too, and has decided to by a bread maker. Think of crusty warm bread, fresh oysters, a crisp cheeky white from a box.

...decided it end it all, by throwing itself onto the hook we were dragging behind us on the way into Missionary Bay at Hinchinbrooke. At last, I caught something....and size doesn't matter! Buster licked him up for dinner.

Some boating buddies from Townsville happened to be there too (a small world), so it was a flotilla of dinghies that motored up a mangrove creek to the start of the Hinchinbrook walking trail. The backdrop was the stunning jungle covered craggy peaks of Mt Burnett that you can see all the way from Townsville... Janie renamed the scene to Dragon Hall.

Despite keen observations, we were disappointed not to see our first croc in the wild. None were on the river banks, or on the river surface. Nor could I find any when snorkelling along the bottoms (joking!).

One of the guys caught a 1.1m mackerel that was too big for his freezer, so we're the proud, very temporary owners, of lots 'n lots of mackerel fillets.

We finally snuck out of the marina 3 days ago! Woo-hoo!?..and here we are...

Remember how you felt when you got your first bike? I couldn't sleep with the excitement and anticipation to be finally on our way to adventure!


We can say with confidence the Palm Islands are an undiscovered mini-Whitsundays...how's this:
...yesterday, I'd been snorkelling over beautiful soft corals. Soon after in the dinghy, we spied 2 manta rays circling in the bay. We snuck close, and I eased into the water again, and spent the next 20 minutes finning along side this beautiful animal. At this point, she didn't seem alarmed at all.

Back on Skedaddle, I stripped off for a refreshing deck shower and there she was...right beside the boat! Here's the opportunity to be the first person to skinny dip with a manta ray! So, in the water I go, in my birthday suit.

The manta took a beady look at me and Mr Wrinkly, and immediately fled off. Situation normal.

Last week, the day before our 2nd escape attempt, two of our wonderful staffers at Page & Pearce were nearly killed after being run over at the crossing outside of our office on the way to get lunch. Luckily, they're both going to be okay after long stays in hospital, followed by who knows how long in rehab. But they both have a great spirit, are young, fit, with heaps of support from friends and family.

A near death experience changes things. In my case it was colon cancer, so I get how shit-scared they must feel.

...our kind thoughts are with you Carmy and Renee.

Janie and I are back to work training newbies and writing yet more procedure manuals, training videos etc etc.

I would, if I ever sailed far off shore, make sure I had not just "spares for everything" on board, but redundancy systems for crucial functions on the boat. To explain, having the spares is one thing, but being well enough (ie not debilitated by sea sickness) to be able to think through problems, then actually do the work in a heaving vessel at sea, is another. I would much rather have a redundancy system ready to go, then trying to do repairs, for things like:

Autopilot: there's no way a wind vane system can be installed on our cat, so I'd get a second servo pump plumbed into the hydraulic line that I could switch into service with taps.

Comms: have a Short Burst Data device that'd let me send text messages over the Irridium network a la "phone a friend". They cost $250, and would be a back up to the sat phone/router. I'd also have the GRIB reader software installed on more than one device aboard.

Skeds: I'd arranged to report our position to my son and a friend every day, but never gave them clear instructions about what to do if they didn't receive my position report. This created unnecessary worry for them.

Sail reefing: find a way that allowed the main to be reefed without going to the boom....in a big sea that causes the boat to pitch and buck, it truly is hard to hang on.

Medical: have a properly organised medical kit and "phone a friend" system set up.

....have shat upon us.

Want to know how many miles north we are? Zero! The fact is we're back in our Townsville home port to fix a popping window seal. We've heard this can be a real messy job, needing the window clamped externally for almost 2 weeks! I've done the research with Lightwave and the Fixtech Sealant folks...work starts in 2 days. What could possibly go wrong!....I'll post the story of the repair experience.

...okay. It's a week or so later, and I've found out I have magical powers...like those magicians that can pull a penny from their ear, I can squeeze black caulking goob from the gun, and make it appear under my foot. I wish I knew I had these powers before a walked over my beautiful white gel coated deck!

Mental notes to me: next time,
- use the piano wire garrot to slice the window off the substrate of the boat from the outside where ever possible.
- stand the window on a work bench so it's easier to see if the "black out" is evenly applied.
- mask up more
- pre-cut the credit card applicators for the exact shapes of the fillet I'm after...and don't use a soapy finger....and don't stuff about trying for perfection. Less mucking about is best.

...and finally, ensure sure our pet cat is no where near the job...on another planet maybe, and that if it's windy, that rigging can't blow onto the black goob before it sets.

yep..we've got one...and it's the real deal....a retirement gift from our business partners Todd 'n Sue Pearce. Todd and I have been together for almost 20 years together. Nice. The occasion was a surprise party with all my friends (both of them!). Actually, it was a terrific group of people that included the still gorgeous Samantha...i gave her a job when she was 16 - poor thing's 40 and fading (not) these days, our cantankerous cable guy (John Errington)...he's well and truly faded, and too many other great people to mention.

I'm suffering separation anxiety which I'd reckon lots of new cruiser types struggle with. My doctor has instructed that I have sundowners every day, explore many islands, visit many new ports, and sail only in fine weather.

I'll think I'll pull through ok.

To avoid the syndrome "sailing to beautiful places to fix the boat", we've been hard at it whilst awaiting our departure. Let's see now...

- I installed a "magnetic fuel debugger" /fuel cleaning system....the dreaded fuel bug is an issue in the tropics! The system doubles as a fuel transfer pump and so far, seems to be working
- antifouled...we managed to slap on 28 litres of antifoul in 3 and a bit coats! My chiropractor can retire now (actually, I don't have one. But I can recommend Daryl Ansell if you needed one)
- figured out how to get our hugely heavy mainsail to the sailmakers and back on the mast again.
- solved some plumbing mysteries...(not bad for a salesman I say).
- polished Skedaddle....maybe I will call Daryl....my back is screaming.

But I've left the best for last....
- the cone clutch repairs in one of our Yanmar SD50 sail drives were made without moving the engine forwards! To appreciate this, you'll need to have previously struggled, swore, kicked and screamed at the hassle and expense of repairing a slipping clutch. Which I'm coming to think is not uncommon with this model. It took a morning, and a tube of lapping paste. WOW! Click here for the instructions...

We've noticed that southerner cruisers think Mecca lies amongst the Whitsunday Islands. But for us Queenslanders, a Lizard Island pilgrimage seems mandatory to earn

Here's where Lizard is...

So, that's where we're going. With our new spinnaker catching the magnificent south east trade winds, we should get there before we leave! ...with lots of stop offs to explore of course.

Getting back south in October is the plan, but we'll be at the mercy of elusive northern winds to blow us down the coast to the Gold Coast for Xmas.

They reckon it's so windy at Lizard it should be called Blizard Island...can't wait to find out for ourselves!

Whlst I'd llke to take credit for authoring the following instructions, I will take your compliments for finding it on the web. To the real authors and the good folks on Leucat , I say "thank you" on behalf of all the owners of Yanmar SD50 sail drives that have paid through the nose to have a slipping clutch repaired. To be fair to Yanmar, the manual does say to service the clutches every 500 hours, but artfully admits how. Now, all is revealed:

Click here for the instructions....I've added some comments and pics to the original article. Not that I needed to, because the original instructions were very good.

Did you know, that fanatical sail boat racers actually make the crew saw off the handles of their tooth brushes to reduce weight on board?

This is true. honest injun. Two separate nutty skippers have told me this. I'll speculate they were too embarrassed to tell me about the mandatory enimas.

Fact is, boats go better when they are lighter, especially cats. And there's not a skipper of any ilk that doesn't get huge satisfaction of getting the best from the boat.

Diesel fuel is almost as heavy as water.
If yours is a cruising boat, it's likely you'll carry lots of fuel. In our case, 800 liters of it.

The traditional way to keep fuel bug out of the fuel is to keep the tanks full...because, full tanks = minimum air in tanks = less moisture condensation on the inside walls of the tanks = less water in the fuel.

Fuel bugs need water. I've read that even the biocides can fail if there s enough water...or the bug has built up an immunity.

So, the choice is to drag around almost a ton of fuel, or carry just the fuel you need...and risk the cursed fuel bug.

But!..
here's a solution you might not have thought of!