Smooth Operator (SB-509)

"I haven't seen such a scruffy bunch of men as you for ages" one of the sailors laughed. "You'll all need a good scrub up before they'll let you lot out on the town. " (Of Guns, Revenge and Hope. -David Lawrence Young)

Recent blogger stepping down

27 June 2016
Pt 10

As I sign off for this part of the Hamo migration the blog editor will be stepping up to bring you the news of the next leg from malloolabah to Hamo.

Good sailing.

Highlights from recent trip.

27 June 2016
Pt 9

Highlights from the journey north:
1. Surviving with such a mottly crew.
2. Leaving the mottly crew to clean up their mess and get a thousand miles away to watch my team win. ( a day destined for disappointment)

1. Eilist asking if she was wearing her undies which mal had folded and ironed.
2. Passing my knots 101 exam

1. D'bra stuffing up the mooring lines and being banished to the galley for a week.
2. having a chance to eat whale again with the bonus of scaring the begeezes out of an innocent turtle minding his own business whilst skippering. (Norwegian background)

1. Enjoying the company of three lovely people, aaahhh bullshit, sorry I just sneezed.
2. Enjoying a nice quiet drink occasionally.
3. Impersonating Les Patterson perfectly.

Ps. picture of Mottly crew after cleaning boat.

Last leg to Mooloolaba.

27 June 2016
Pt 8

As we pass point Moreton we can see the lights of malloolabah our final destination, winds a bit more than a breeze, suggested to kapitano to put some more lead in the keel as D'bra & Eilist didn't like the salt water in their hair as we heeled over.

All good though we had our executive chef preparing a magnificent curry dish.

Just when all was settling down the headsail sheet broke and a storm warning for malloolabah was being announced not to mention that warnings were being issued re entering malloolabah harbour. All in a days work for kapitano, the major concern he had was now how to deal with the mottly crew knowing there was no beer on board. Executive chef to rescue with a home made sangria and a comedy routine with the evil sister. (see photo below)

Tied up at malloolabah we send our scout out for supplies at 11 o'clock only to return 1/2 hour later empty handed. 😒 Executive chef / maitre de to rescue and pulls a bottle of red which had been stashed away.

Nigh nigh, time for bed, back to our loved ones tomorrow.

Leaving Southport to Mooloolaba.

27 June 2016
Pt 7

Up at sparrows fart, for those of you who are unaware sparrows in Qld get up at 1000 not sunrise.

The winds are looking favourable and a bit of skilled organising by kapitano to get his mottly crew organised and Smoothy ready for a blast out of her berth, very tight and winds not your friend angle. ( The coffee kapitano bought for the crew received a rousing three cheers from the mottly ones)

Farewell Southport we are on our last leg for this part of the Hamo migration by Smoothy.

Winds 20 knots gusting to 30 from the west. Malloolabah here we come.

Southport to Mooloolaba.

27 June 2016
Pt 6

Aaaahh we cross the border this time with the sight of the concrete and glass towers on our radar we head to Southport Yacht Club and a well deserved rest and an early night. "Up at sparrow's fart you know." says kapitano. The evil sisters D'bra and Eilist have other ideas.

D'bra brings in some local drinking buddies supposed cousins. Eilist innocently suggests a game of pool. Well kapitano and mal get to see what Eilist did with her misspent youth, pool shark strikes. Well the masculinity and pride of the men was on the line. Mal distracts the evil sisters with his Les Patterson impersonation whilst dastardly clever kapitano sinks an unbelievable shot to claim victory and drag his mottly crew back to sshhhhmmmoooooothhhhy for an early staaahhhaaarrrttt.

Port Stephens to southport QLD

24 June 2016
Pt 5

Out of the marina and off to -
a) Port Macquarie, no too late and not a great entrance.
B) Coffs Harbour, no it's been destroyed
C) Yamba - see a) above
D) Ballina - see a) above

F#*k it, that damm blue can devil we're going to Qld. On kapitano's insistence we had to get rid of all the devils in the fridge. πŸ™€πŸ™πŸΌ. πŸΊπŸΊπŸΊπŸ’…πŸΌπŸΊπŸΊπŸŽ€πŸΊπŸΊπŸΊβš”πŸΊπŸΊπŸΊπŸΊπŸ‘ πŸ’„πŸ‘—πŸΊπŸΊπŸΊπŸΊπŸΊπŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€

Aaaahh we cross the border, no the blue can devil hasn't finished with us yet. Large flotsam coming our way, lucky sharp eyes Eilist saw it, a big black trough floating in our path. Next the blue can devil has another crack at us but sharp eyes Eilist is onto it. The crack 'A' team jump into action dodging a fish net getting caught in the prop. In hindsight it was probably cray pots or sensors. Cross the border and the blue can Devils have been finished.

Stuck in port Stephens.

24 June 2016
Pt 4b

What to do when stranded in port Stephens:
1 Teach kapitano and D'bra to play 500 and then get whooped by them.
2 Go to the Sunday market. ( Well researched Mal )
3 Go op shopping. ( Di will be impressed with the red carpet)
4 Go for a pleasant stroll to Mt Tomaree ( I'm sure it's one of the seven highest peaks of the world )
5 Cooking lessons by our apprentice chef. - scones at sea / mini quiches
6 Cooking lessons by our resident Executive Chef - D'vine Fritarter

Pittwater to port Stephens

23 June 2016
Pt 3

Goodbye Pittwater we're off to port Stephens some 70 nautical miles. Smooooth sailing amongst the Dolphins and whales.

Some whale facts:
cows need to stay awake for about a month when they calf because the calf does not have enough blubber to allow it to float.
Whales sleep by slip streaming other whales.
If you want more interesting facts write to: www.whaletastings@japan&norway.

Arrived at Port Stephens after dark and head to shoal bay to pick up a mooring. No moorings to be seen, drop anchor and a very nice dinner provided by cook of the day and just one glass of red, not sure how often that glass was refilled though. Nigh nigh

Sydney to Pittwater

23 June 2016
The recently refurbished Newport Arms welcomed us with open arms, well the doors were open. Out to the beautiful dining area where we all enjoyed a meal a beer a beer - "no early start tomorrow" says kapitano. As the reluctant crew start thinking about the long walk home a great idea comes into eilist brain, let's play a game of table tennis, well one thing lead to another and the beer pong challenge was laid down, you'll have to ask kapitano how it finished but I think the photo says it all.

Smooth operator under close naval surveillance.

23 June 2016

Port Stephens

23 June 2016
Pt 4a

After a very comfortable night and check of weather, we'll stay here for another day.

Up on deck to look at Shoal Bay in daylight, 37 free moorings,
wish they would put some reflective tape on the damm things.

Up anchor and leisurely cruise around the harbour and then into the marina for fuel and a hot shower. Five days later all crew coming down with a dose of cabin fever. Kapitano decides to get out of port Stephens thus avoiding having to hide the knives.#

# from the NSW Govt Boating & Survival Techniques - when at sea and confined collect knives and put in bag away from person who may change their personality.

Ps. Photo an example of changes in personality.

Sydney to Mooloolaba

22 June 2016
Hi all. Well we are on our way north for a three hour cruise, mmmm, better make that three days, no three weeks ( well for "some" it may feel like three weeks, those "some" being the intrepid crews loved ones. ). The intrepid crew of "kapitano", d'bra, eilist and the blog apprentice haven't had time to count the weeks / days / hours/ minutes / seconds / nanoseconds .......

It all started back in Sydney, I knew the Jenneau gods were not going to be happy when BLUE cans of VB were brought on board.

A wander round the rascally Russell's past, Balmain, found the most hospitable host at The Exchange, best crispy skin barramundi with the most divine sauce. ( got the recipe for those interested)

Fueled, water, food and those blue cans. Out under the coat hanger, wave to our mate Pete (Cosgrove GG) and head out through the heads and head north.

Not a couple hours out and the dreaded blue can devil strikes. Our pride and glory, RAN send out a patrol to ascertain our intentions. After the "girls" have the navy boys a smile and wave they let us go on our way. Apparently we had missed the call about a naval operation occurring in the area.

Around Cape Barrenjoey and grab a mooring and have some lunch in the sun. After lunch a siesta was in order and we worked on our vitamin D levels.

That night, all dressed up and off to Newport Arms for ..... tying up back soon.

Last leg .....

03 May 2016 | Jervis Bay
MD / fine and dandy
For Eilist, we are on Mals last leg, he hasn't been to bad bit tough like a two tooth.

For other bloggers good morning,

Yesterday I ran out of reception, most unusual for Optus outside of cities, NOT....

We had a lovely sail up from Batemans Bay to Jervis Bay. Best average speed for journey at 8 knots over the 7 hours. Best speed 11 knots. Sea was a bit choppy and the breeze gusting up to 30 but generally between 20 - 25 knots. Boy if we had Melbournes wind we would have been at NZ by now.

Last night we nestled into a pretty little cove in Jervis bay. Arriving in daylight was a treat, unfortunately tradition was broken with the beer flag being raised before sunset. ( thanks Grunter, good call)

Dinner was a superb LO concocted by resident gourmet chef, Bryan and his apprentice. Main course, a lovely spicey beef in edible bowl, lean bacon with quevo and a greekish salad. Desert a superb chocolate and banana slice. ( LO - left overs )

Early rise today, four bells, not sure that's right but sounds nautical and goodbye to the ACT harbour and onto the most magnificent harbour in the world. No wind yet, except for Grunter but in the circumstances understandable.

Day ....... wharever

02 May 2016 | Acheron Ledge
MD / sunny calm
Morning bloggers, this being our "Budget" day when all are waiting for Scott to deliver a jobs and growth budget, haven't heard that before.

Now for a serious news bulletin, it's official, Bryan is a wanna be friend of nemo.

Not sure whose sailing this boat

01 May 2016

01 May 2016 | Merrimbula
MD / sunny 6knot NW smooooth seas
Morning all, well after a lovely curry for diner last night watching the blues just beat the bombers. Kapitano looking at getting grand final tickets; "tell him he's dreaming".

Grunter making strange and concerning comments about how to survive with only three on board. We are hiding the knives.

Bryan has no respect for the cup of tea ritual in the morning suggesting we get going without one, I ask you.

The cook knocked up yummy bacon and eggs with a brewed coffee, doesn't get better than that for brekky.

Still little wind but sunny and calm. At this stage we plan to make jervis bay tonight.

My niece and her daughter "mirror" signaled us from merrimbula, good to say hi.

Back to swabbing the deck.

Update from the Smoothy

01 May 2016 | Snug Cove, Eden
Ahoy me heartys, for those of you who are computer literate there are a couple of other updates, good luck finding them, somewhere between Facebook and the blog.

Currently we are moored in snug bay, Eden. Had the traditional mussels and garlic bread, magnificent, well three of us did the forth is suffering.

The swabbies were treated to a hot shower before being allowed back on board to scrub the decks. Once the polishing was done and the blind Kapitano returned with his new glasses all was good to cast off the jetty and head for Ben Boyd hotel (see photo below / above / beside somewhere). With great skill and with the anchor man laying a great anchor we sat for ten minutes in 20 knot breeze contemplating our options. Fortunately our beer supply and chips on board were satisfactory such that the inflating the dinghy, loading the motor making several trips in unpleasant waters wasn't necessary. Up anchor and back to snug cove pick up a mooring and a beer then settle in for an afternoon of footy.

At this stage we are endeavouring to head for bermagui in the morning.

PS Kapitano's glasses were located in a nook on the deck, "great got a spare pair for the yacht"

Day 2 or 3 depending on what you deem to be day 1

28 April 2016 | Kilercrankie
I've been tasked to update the blog but haven't so far been able to find my way back. ( just as well I'm not the navigator )

The current update from kilercrankie (flinders island ) Heather and Brian are being perfect hosts at their little patch of paradise. For dinner last night - reef & beef with a delicate Brian 12/13 shiraz followed by Heathers tasty home preserved plums. For those wondering what the reef was a cray caught and prepared by Heather and Brian.

Back to the sailing, we are waiting for a final weather report but possibly be heading off mid afternoon for Eden with a fall back plan lakes entrance.

Yesterday sail ( motor actually) took us through hoopers straits between deal and erith island, another place to add to bucket list.

As for the crew a night in refuge wasn't exactly as we had hoped. The kapitano trying to sleep crossways on his bed, Grunter finding it easier to stay awake rather then sleep and mallee snoring blissfully. 0400 came still no coffee brought to me in bed, kapitano and Grunter up anchored and motored out before I had even got myself together. Alas a while later they both faded away to their cabins to get some shut eye in the calm waters of bass strait ( go figure ) Our arrival at kilercrankie was carried out with much pomp and ceremony with Rear Admiral Brian coming out to welcome us to his Harbour and with the exchange of gifts being asked to come ashore and be their guests.

Boxing Day Dash, 'Juzzy' on SYC Club Champion 'Wicked' 2015 ORCV 'Cock of the Bay'

29 December 2015 | Port Phillip Bay
SYC Beneteau First 40 'Wicked' survives a tough day on the bay in this years' 'Cock of the Bay' race from Williamstown to Blairgowrie Yacht Squadron in the first race of the ORCV 'Rudder Cup' Series in very anti social conditions.

Heavy rain dowsed the fleet prior to the Boxing Day start and a stiff 25-30kt wind on the nose challenged the fleet from the Sandringham mark into McCrae without respite.

'Wicked' finished 4th on corrected time following a 1st placing in the previous 2 years.

Juzzy and Jock took the chocolates in previous 'Cock Of The Bay' dash back in 1997 & the stormy 1998 race jointly owned Davidson 34 'Relentless'

Wicked is a sistership to the likes of 2009 Rolex Sydney Hobart winner, Two True, which she finished second to that year, after finish under an hour behind the South Australian yacht after the two virtually match raced the whole way.

Wicked finished 19th overall in the 2011 Audi Sydney Gold Coast Yacht Race, taking out IRC Division 3. More recently, the dynamic duo have been racing locally and lead a team of experienced sailors from Sandringham Yacht Club, who have been campaigning the boat with some success in Victorian club racing.

This post is only up because 'Juzzy' is the star!

Please note: No one is holding a beer can, it is serious. We have special pockets in our crew shorts that accommodate cans and stubbies...

'Some bloke called Dave' competes in 2015 Rolex Sydney to Hobart

29 December 2015 | Hobart, Tasmainia
Esteemed, popular & occasional Smooth Operator bowman David Richards (some bloke called 'Dave') is competing in one of the toughest Sydney to Hobart yacht races in recent memory, aboard the renowned legendary Sydney 38 'Challenge'.

'Challenge' was arguably the most successful Sydney 38 in Australia the one to come closest to winning the Sydney Hobart, with third overall and a Division D win in 2006. It has also been Australian and Victorian champion, and won numerous one-design events.

The 'Smoothies' are watching the handicap outcome as Dave and the crew on Challenge near Hobart.

Good Luck to all the Victorian entries.
Vessel Name: Smooth Operator (SB-509)
Vessel Make/Model: Jeanneau Sun Odyssey 509
Hailing Port: Martha Cove Marina, Port Phillip, Australia
Crew: Kapitano, Jock (away in Siberia for the winter) Juzzy, Cupboards, Grumpy, Grunter, The Principal, Fairweather, The Bitch, Di & Eileen, plus ring-ins
About: "I haven't seen such a scruffy bunch of men as you for ages" one of the sailors laughed. "You'll all need a good scrub up before they'll let you lot out on the town. " (Of Guns, Revenge and Hope. - David Lawrence Young)
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