Baby It’s Cold Outside….
10 January 2010 | St. Augstine
Pokey and Grumpy
...but everyone between Hudson Bay and the equator knows that already.
I take back everything I said about Algore (well, not everything). The ice caps are moving. Problem is, they've landed on the beach in Florida. The high yesterday was in the 30's and today we have to winterize Prim because overnight temps are heading for the teens. Winterize, in Florida??? We're thinking class action suit vs. the Chamber of Commerce for false advertising. Friends of ours are heading home to Canada to get warm. Iguanas are falling out of trees like cartoon characters. Birds are thinking, "We flew 2,000 miles for this???" Margaritaville is one big frozen daiquiri. Disney World has bought the rights for Santa's new North Pole and it actually snowed in Miami! Stick that in your Copenhagen, boys and girls. The only positive I can think of is if this keeps up, Hell might actually freeze over, too. That ought to please my grandfather. He thought there was a shortage of help in Heaven but he only had devastating world wars and massive depressions to contend with, long before the bar was lowered by do-good politicians.
On a grateful note, we are settled into a third floor condo for the time being, overlooking the Royal St. Augustine golf course. The course is turning brown from the frost and lack of rain, but it still beats living on the hard, freezing in the boatyard. I haven't seen anybody out there with big fluffy snow bunny boots yet. Do they come with golf spikes? I don't think so. Having a washer/dryer in the unit is a big plus because we're going through sox like crazy, both pairs. It's funny, at home when a blizzard is forecast, the stores empty out of toilet paper and bread. Here, it's Campbell's soup and sox. The only scarves around here came in the bottom of some snowbird's last resort suitcase. Good thing we have doxie heaters to snuggle with.
I suppose these weather conditions should be considered minor to a northerner, certainly compared to what is actually happening across most of the country. However, there can be serious side effects in the sunshine state. Central heating units in many Florida homes are just not intended for extended cold, so there has been an increase in fires from faulty or overtaxed space heaters. The citrus crops are taking a beating as you all hear on the news so expect the cost of mixed drinks to go up. Maybe they can forego the umbrellas as a hedge against inflation. Besides, those tiny umbrellas are sort of stupid when you're sitting there bundled up in sweaters, hoodies, jackets, gloves and fur ear flaps.
As you've probably noticed, Pokey started this post with all good intention, but my anti-cold cynicism crept into the mix somewhere around Copenhagen. That's what she gets for asking me to type this. For several years while planning this adventure, I never expected to be looking out over a frozen golf course waiting for the frost to clear off our Buick below while the boatyard awaits warmer weather to begin repairs and my only other pair of sox are still in the dryer.
It is 87 in Rio de Janiero today. Hmmmmm.