A couple of days ago we moved from Punta de Mita, at the entrance to Banderas Bay, down to La Cruz, deep in the bay near Puerto Vallarta. FYI, if you ever want to see where we are on a map, you can find a button for that on the right hand side of our blog page.

The weather continues hot and humid, much more so than is normal for this time of year. We spend as much time in the water as possible, but it still means that as soon as we dry off a good sweat starts with any physical activity!

Unfortunately, there has been quite a bit of physical activity fixing the several broken items that I either missed this summer, or have failed since we left Mazatlan. One would think that systems would be quite happy sitting at the dock over the summer not being used. But, that isn't the case. The hot weather and inactivity is as hard or harder on many items as using them.

Our fresh water deck wash down at the stern - an essential items for cleaning off fish gunk - sprung a leak again in its curled hose. I already replaced the the entire hose last year and this is the 2nd leak this year. These coiled deck hoses must be crap - thanks Jabsco!

Second, our main VHF radio is failing. We did have this problem last year as well, but I thought it was the antenna and replaced that. Ooops! It now looks like it is an intermittent problem with the radio. Luckily, we are still in a major boating centre in PV so there are shops that I can get a radio from. But, as with all items sold only to "wealthy" boaters, the prices are outrageous. A combination of high import duties, taxes, and low volume of sales means that these items are double cost down here. Plus the low Canadian dollar and US sources for these products pushes up the cost even more. Oh well, that's the price of playing down here.

It's time for a "viewer discretion" warning here. If you are squeamish skip the rest of this blog! I really mean it!

I also had to replace both of our holding tank macerator pumps - thanks again Jabsco! These are the pumps that take crap from the toilet holding tanks, chop it up even further, and then pump it overboard. This is NEVER a nice job. On the port side head, the macerator sucks from the top of the tank. So, it is a "relatively" shit-free job to unbolt the pump, detach the inflow and outflow pipes and install a new macerator. Hey, we are dealing with a crap pump here so there is still a guarantee of smearing of crap on bodily parts as one wrestles the pump - which is always designed into a nearly inaccessible spot. Why do naval architects do this to us?

For those of you that know me well, you will know that I am the biggest wimp on earth with stink and bodily fluids. I'm not proud of it, but I will heave and puke easier than anyone you ever have met. Keep that in mind if you decide to keep reading.

If I thought that the port macerator was a disgusting job, replacing its partner on the starboard side put it to shame. The engineer who designed the system had the brilliant thought to put the holding tank higher than the macerator by a couple of feet. As well, the hose leading to the macerator draws from the bottom of the tank. This means that there is significant pressure in the 1.5" pipe leading into the macerator. And, as it always is with systems like this, the macerator didn't fail until the holding tank had several gallons of "fun stuff" in it. Just to paint the picture fully, we have been eating REALLY well these last few days, if you get my drift.

Dee and I prepped for battleÉ I should clarify this a bitÉ Dee stayed around the corner out of range while I stripped down ready to deal with a fire house of poo. I smeared Vicks under my nose hoping to defray the assault that was soon to visit my nostrils. There were two hose clamps to loosen to remove the pipe. Hose clamp #1 came off painlessly. As soon as I touched the final hose clamp, an ominous brown gooey drop started forming around the edge of the hose. This was just a precursor of the fun that I was about to have. I knew that there was going to be a lot of crap that wanted to get out of this pipe - under pressure - so I had a large wad of paper towel ready to stuff into the hose. Dee peaked around corner, ready to assist as needed, preferably, from afar. My dry heaves and gagging had started, but there was no turning back now.

I released the final hose clamp pulled off the hose, and rammed the wad of paper down into the pipe, against the spouting geyser of crap. At this point the stream was reduced to a slow dribble, but there were casualties. The last several days' dinners were clearly identifiable on my arms, my legs, the walls, and the floor. Dee tells me that the stench was unbearable, but I was so far past that point that I couldn't smell a thing. Thanks body, that's a great trick!

Unfortunately, the pressure was still there and my paper towel cork was about to blow. Between dry heaves I called to Dee and she quickly appeared with a 5 gallon bucket. Here eyes were as big as mine by this point, probably because she could see how covered with crap I was. We wrestled the hose towards the bucket and I a reach into the hose to remove the sodden paper towel cork. The geyser of crap shot out, but this time was captured, mostly, by the bucket. As the hose thundered, I thought that this was just like being back in the fire department.

As the bucket filled, I momentarily wondered how full our 20 gallon holding tank actually was? Luckily, the flow on the hose settled down and after the final dribbles we still had room in the bucket. Dee had the unenviable job of carrying the bucket out back and pouring it out. I would have volunteered, but I needed to be hosed down before moving anywhere!

The rest of the job was pretty straight forward. Install the macerator, clean the shit off the walls, and have a beer. All in a normal day on a cruising boat. Fortunately, my sense of smell didn't return for a hour or so!

Dee and I can both definitely attest that this is the absolutely worst boat job - by far- that we have ever had to do. The clean up was massive, and we are still faintly reminded of what happened when we pass through that head. Now, we can enjoy two fully functioning heads while we wait to see what horrible diseases we pick up from this adventureÉ