MONKEY
November 13, 2011
I have thought about it a great deal as we have made our way aboard Why Knot. There has been plenty of time to do so. We need a third crew member, a monkey. According to Admiral Bear, we already have an ape. The need arises from two facts; I am getting older thus less agile and there are places on a boat into which stuff falls that I cannot get my sledge hammer paws. I am not saying we need a monkey as a pet, far from it. We need a crew member that happens to be a monkey, a trained monkey that does not drink, has no flees, leaves our peanuts alone, watches the Military and History channels and does not snore. We will call him Number 3 (3 for short). Three will need papers such as necessary documents to get past port captains in other countries. Failing that, Three will need to hide on the mast head or elsewhere in case of official boarding. Three needs to be well mannered and capable of sorting out the right tools when I am doing something. Otherwise sort out his own tools when doing something. Three will need to cheerfully make coffee, fetch stuff and clean up after. It would be a plus if Three could stand watch and polish stainless. Three needs to like bean dip and chicken pot pies with Red Bull (sugarless of course). Three needs to be passionate about the hunt aboard for Little Prick, our boat troll. Of major importance is that Three can be no taller than two feet since he will be assigned to the aft cabin that has so much gear so as to limit the horizontal sleeping room. Jeff, a friend from Port Aransas, Texas had a Capuchin that was on the way to being just the right recruit but could not return to the US with Jeff. I think the importation laws were written to keep them from the US due to the possibility that they would replace the members of Congress. Too bad.